Field of Dreams

I came to visit my mom in a dream. I knew she was missing me pretty bad. In the dream I told her that everything was OK and that I was happy. I also told mom that I would be there whenever she needed me and that she was not alone.

When mom woke up she knew that it would be OK. Mom still gets very sad but she felt that she needed to open her heart and help other dogs in need. Mom knew that Chingu had been fostered by two families before he found his special place with her. Mom decided that she would foster and had heard that she could with the local animal shelter. Mom had heard the process could take awhile and signed up today anticipating that it would take a few weeks before she would even be asked.

Mom left the shelter and was about to leave town when she received a phone call. The shelter told mom that a dog's foster home had just fell through because the foster's family dog had been picking on this little dog.

Mom wasn't sure she was ready but the shelter was in need and she knew someone had helped Chingu and she knew she needed to help pass on it on. So mom turned around and went to meet her new foster.

Mom met the little girl and took her home with her. Mom made her her very own page - her name is Molly.

I may not be there physically but I'm there in spirit with my mom and foster sister. I taught my mom lots of things so that she could help other dogs and help them find their forever homes.

Rainbow Bridge

Chingu passed away today. It was very hard but after consulting with the vet and observing him over the week it was clear that he was not himself and he was beginning to have more and more periods of confusion.

We had a beautiful week together and on Friday I took the day and we took a road trip. It was rainy but we saw the Bison and took a little hike. I was able to tell him all the things I wanted him to know and I made sure he really knew he was loved and cherished everyday (although I hope he felt that way always in our home)

This morning we cuddled together and I told him how very proud I was of him and how much joy he brought into my life and I sang him his bed time song.

Chingu passed quickly and both his mom and dad were with him and he was calm and not afraid. I miss his presence in the house and still listen for the jingling of his tags.

So I guess I'll close his journal with the poem the Rainbow Bridge. It really is a beautiful poem and I hope that Chingu and I will meet again in the life after this one.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

A Note From My Mom

I know it has been awhile since I've posted and I haven't kept up regularly for a long time but I wanted to post this so that those who have helped support me with helping Chingu with his fear-aggression issues would know how much we have both appreciated this.

On Saturday Chingu bit my boyfriend pretty badly on the hand. Luckily no permanent damage was done but the bite was bad and very easily could have resulted in permanent nerve damage or the loss of a finger or two. The bite, sadly, was unprovoked and occurred after Chingu walked up to him and placed his head on his lap (which he always does when he wants to be pet) and my boyfriend began to pet him. We have both worked very hard to read his body language and Chingu gave none of his usual signs and he just lost it.

Unfortunately in recent months I believe his cognitive function has begun to diminish. He has begun to have accidents in the house (which he never ever had before), he becomes very restless at night, and will cry and whine continually at night in his sleep. The times when you can see that lost look in his eyes has become more frequent and it now appears that he forgets sometimes who his mom and dad are. He has also been snapping more and there have been recent nips which are increasing in frequency.

I am going to have him looked over by the vet (although he just had a check up) just to check everything but ultimately I know that the time has come to make the decision I had so hoped that I would not have to make, although I knew that I would.

Almost 2 years ago when he bit me we had a discussion with the vet about his behavior and how to help him. I put him on Prozac which has helped to ease much of his anxiety but she warned me that with his Canine Dementia more than likely the day would come when he would become too aggressive and I would have to make the choice.

Chingu has made so much progress and I am so proud of him for all the hard work that he has done and these past 20 months or so in Texas have been great for us. Most of all I'm so proud that he was able to not just love me but able to learn to love and trust my boyfriend (aka Dad). I didn't think in the beginning he would ever be able to trust another person besides myself but Chingu was able to open his heart and find a bond with another person.

However, he has begun to have less lucid periods and more periods of fear and confusion. I don't want our last memories together to be of fear and pain. I want them to be of happy times filled with peace, love, and warmth.

We're going to spend the next week together and then I will make arrangements to have him go to sleep at home where he feels comfortable and safe.

This will be a week of eating steak and liver and all things tasty. It will be a week of dancing, and petting, and lots of walking. It will be a week where my angel can do as he pleases and I will take every opportunity to tell him how much I love him.

This is not an easy decision but it is no longer a question of if he will bite but when and the risk has become too great.

However, I don't think of this is a failure. I believe were it not for the dementia that all the work we've done would have turned him around for forever, but as he slips more into the twilight of his life he is unable to forget behaviors of the past. That is not his fault and that is not how I want him remembered. I also know that he does not want to hurt me or his dad.

I want to thank everyone for the support they have given us and especially to those who shared their stories of inspiration. Several people have written us telling us that Chingu's story has given them hope about their own dogs' issues with fear-aggression. I hope Chingu's story continues to give people hope because having him as my best friend for the past 3 years has made me a better person and has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Chingu has taught me so much about love and forgiveness and I will forever miss my friend.

Updates and DINOS (Dogs in Need of Space)

Hello fellow Dogsters

The secretary has again decided to stop being a slacker for a moment and post.

So to catch up Mom and Dad moved into a house and while still no dog door - I do have a lovely yard, although it is cold and I'm not a big fan of being in the yard by myself.

But it is nice because while Mom still has to commute to work (although at least one day a week she works in town) Dad is local so he can stop by the house for me to pee so the dog door is not a big issue.

I also like the neighborhood walks - there are lots of dogs behind fences so lots of awesome places to pee, because I can leave my scent for the other dogs to smell and there's nothing they can do! Mom can tell I really enjoy that.

There also really aren't that many strays so the walks are less stressful.

Otherwise though we have just been bopping along. The winter months have been a little hard on the joints but mom made me a bed with some of that cushy egg crate stuff and that seems to help at night.

Mom is also going on vacation next month and she's going to leave me for a whole weekend ***gasp*** and Dad is going to watch me. This is good and bad - Dad is a little more forgetful than mom about remembering to take me out, but Dad does give me more treats so I'll probably eat better because Mom wont be there to say no. Mom promises though that she will call to remind dad everyday to take me out and check on me.

To all my pals though I hope they're having a good holiday season and my Mom and I wanted to leave you with this URL: http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2011/12/07/you-know-youre-liv ing-with-dinos-when/

Mom found it very entertaining and I am very much a DINO (Dogs in need of space) and thought since a lot of my pals are like me they'd find the humor in it as well.

Some of the highlights are You Know You're Living with a DINO when:
Blind corners are scarier than a Hitchcock movie.

You’ve considered adding “excellent horizon scanner” to the skills section of your resume.

Your hamster’s exercise ball is starting to look like a good idea for your dog, if only you could build one large enough for your Lab.

and Mom's favorite:
Your neighbor hasn’t looked you in the eye since “that time” you told her where she could stick her roaming off leash dog.

Happy Labor Day

So I'm finally back to my normal self. It only took about 10 days. Mom says thats why she went ahead and told the vet they had to take out the cracked tooth, period. Anesthesia is too hard on these old bones.

Mom says since all the bad teeth are out thats the end. Mom says next week when I can eat hard foods again the tooth brushing will begin. But Mom says no more dental cleanings if we can avoid it - this time just took a very long time to recover.

But I finally had some spunk back today and charged ahead like normal on our walk. So Mom and Dad were pretty happy.


I did have an incident after all Mom's bragging. Apparently I'm not a football fan. Mom isn't really one either, but Dad has suckered her into playing fantasy football with him this year (Mom would like to add here that while she knows nothing about football she has a way cooler team that the majority of the other people in the league). Anyways Dad was watching a college game and became very animated and was jumping up and down and shouting and I thought he was becoming aggressive, perhaps even towards Mom, and I snapped.

I said I was sorry but Mom said that wasn't cool. No real damage was done, but it was a reminder to Dad that I'm not always predictable (he thinks Mom is over protective). So Mom says the new rule is I'm not allowed to watch football with the family - at least certainly not if Dad cannot remain seated. We'll have to see how the season progresses. But I've been a very submissive to Dad and even gave him several kisses because I feel bad for the snapping.

Dad has been sweet and forgave me and gave me lots of head rubs today. Dad even gave me some 'love steak' since its Mom and Dad's last meal before they go on a 'for real' diet. Thats partly why I love Dad so much - he always gives me steak. Mom says he spoils me too much, but I say Dad doesn't spoil me enough.

Update

Sorry Dogster Pals, but Mom the secretary has been slacking. Mom promises she will try to be better with her updates. Unfortunately Mom had a very busy late spring and summer at work, luckily it gave me and 'Dad' time to become pals.

In fact sometimes Mom says she thinks I love Dad more than her. Dad is pretty awesome and I now let him leash me even when Mom is present and unless I'm sick then we have no problems.

I was a little ill the other day and was a bit snappish but no bites. So Mom took me to the vet and it turned out my other tooth was cracked down to the root so that was extracted. It was rough but Mom and Dad both dropped me off at the vet and picked me up. My dad helped me get into the car and helped my Mom take good care of me.

So whats been happening? Well Mom works more than in Colorado which is sad, but the good thing is Dad helps out now so if my Mom has a late night then he walks me and makes sure I'm fed and cared for.

We're also moving. Mom's house got broken into but luckily Mom and I had been staying with Dad so we weren't there. Mom says she's real glad that I wasn't there because they popped out boards in the fence and I would have gotten out. (Luckily the burglars only got about $3 in quarters for their efforts - they didn't want Mom's 10 year old TV)

But Mom and Dad said that there's a silver lining in every cloud. Mom decided it was time to leave the ghetto and Mom and Dad found a house to rent together so we're not going back and forth.

I haven't seen the house yet but Mom says it rocks and it has a cinder block yard and the landlords are totally cool with me and my situation and only Mom and Dad will have keys to the place so no one can come bother me unless Mom or Dad is there. Mom also says the house has carpet so it'll be easier to get around on then on the hardwood floors.

But aside from the terrible awful trip to the vet and tooth extractions I'm doing well. They did all my blood work and my kidneys are still going well and the Prozac is still doing its job.

Most important though is the addition of Dad to the family. Dad chills Mom out and therefore I'm a more chill dog. Dad also gives me lots of treats. In fact I find Dad petting me to be so relaxing I usually lay right down.

But things lately at work have been slowing down for Mom and she's pretty happy about that. Mom and Dad say they're going to be busy this next month helping to get the new house ready for us to move into but it'll be good since Dad's house now doesn't have a yard.

Dog in a Hole

Hello fellow dogsters. I know the secretary has not updated in quite some time but mom has been super busy. But this story was too good not to share. But first a quick update on life:

Mom broke up with 'the man' which I was pretty happy about as I was never a big fan. In fact that's what 'the man' said to my mom when she broke up with him, "I bet Chingu will be happy," and my mom said he was right.

Well anyways my mom now has a new friend who I like so much I refer to him as dad. Dad is pretty awesome. I'm not going to lie, I am very jealous when Mom is present but when Mom is gone I like dad to love on me. I let dad leash me and walk me at the park and feed me treats. Now the leashing can really only be done when mom is gone as I prefer to be leashed by her but if she's not present then I will allow dad to leash me. Dad tells me he loves me everyday just like mom.

Moving on...Well mom is a pro at containing me and ensuring for my safety. Dad on the other hand is pretty good but is not as super-extra-cautious as mom. Well last night mom was working late late and dad came to check on me. Dad locked the front door but the lock has been funny on the bottom lock and doesn't always latch and instead will pop open. Well dad thought it was locked but it wasn't and the door popped open while he was in the shower.

I love mom and dad but when I saw that door open I saw an opportunity for adventure so I took it! Well mom got home about 12:30am and she told me she flipped out. Her and dad looked for me all night and didn't sleep. Mom even told her boss I had gone missing and could not come into work due to her needing to find me. Dad started contacting people, animal control, etc and offered rewards and warned them about my fear aggression issues. Mom and dad went to the shelter. Mom said the most awful part was looking through the 'dead dog' book.

Anyways dad got called out and mom stayed at home hoping I would come home. 10 minutes later mom got a phone call from a man who said he had found me. The man asked if her dog would bite and Mom said, "YES! I'm on my way." Mom raced to the location he had named and when she rolled up all she could see was a man laying on the ground, an ambulance, and a news crew.

Mom jumped out the car with a package of hot dogs, a muzzle, and a leash. Mom asked if the man was OK and the man said, "I'm just petting your dog," and Mom was like ,"Oh."

Mom looked down and I was at an abandoned car wash where they had uncovered drains that were these holes that were 6 ft deep at least. I had fallen into one of these holes on my adventure!!!

When mom saw me she immediately jumped in and muzzled me. I was so happy to see my mom!!! The nice man offered to pick me up but mom said I had better do it. So mom picked me up. I did get pretty growly but no bites but I had the muzzle on. The man helped hoist me up and there I was. Then they helped mom up.

Then mom got interviewed by some news people. Mom wasn't so jazzed about that as she hadn't slept or showered but she felt since all those people had helped and showed up she needed to be nice.

What most amazes my mom is that I let that very very nice man pet me and even grab my collar and get my tags with my info so that he could call mom. I never once snapped or growled and was very friendly. I did freak a little when everyone converged on me after pulling me out of the hole, but mom said this was difficult for me and that I needed my space.

So all is well that ends well. Mom says I'm like a cat and have nine lives. Dad will now be more vigilant with the door and the new rule is both locks have to be locked and the parents will be replacing that bottom lock. Also the new rule is when someone is going to not be available to supervise (i.e. take a shower) then I must be put in the spare room or baby gated to the kitchen as no chances can be taken with me.

But mom thinks we must truly have a guardian angel and it was a miracle that anyone found me as its an abandoned car wash and she would have never looked there. Someone just happened to be walking to work today at 8am and heard me crying.

So all is well that ends well but mom and I would like to thank all those kind people who literally saved my life and my mom's.

Good News

So mom took me to the vet Monday morning and she at least spared me the indignity of having my temperature taken. But she did have to wrestle me still to have my blood taken.

The good news is though my blood levels were better than ever. My creatine levels were still a little on the high side but everything else looked good.

The vet was saying something to mom about the possibility of modifying my diet to some sort of tasteless kidney diet but since my blood work was so great the vet said there was no need! She told mom whatever she was feeding me was doing the job. Whoo hoo!

Mom says we have to go back in 6 months just to keep an eye out but so far so good.

Mom did find out though that apparently I only have the function of one of my kidneys. This has apparently been the case for some time but mom just didn't realize it. The good thing is though that the kidney that is left is doing the job just fine. And apparently the advil didn't do any damage.

TGIF

Well mom and I went on our walk this morning and she gave me breakfast and mom says I seemed good.

Then mom sadly had to leave me but she did come home early! Whoo hoo!

Mom saw that I drank my normal amount of water and then she took me on a walk and so far I appear to be feeling normal.

Mom did call the vet's office first thing this morning. They told mom to watch me closely over the weekend and if there were any changes at all to bring me in on Saturday or head to the emergency clinic.

Mom said the vet felt it was a small dose so I'd be OK but she's not taking any chances. Monday morning we're going in first thing to have me evaluated and see if blood work needs to be done. Mom is being mean and told me she's going to probably request they do blood work regardless, she said she's not taking any chances. I guess we'll see Monday.

But mom already told her boss what was up and on Monday she's going to try to do as much work as possible from home. In fact the good news is for the next few weeks mom's boss is going to let her work at home at least in the mornings til mom has to go out and about for her job. Whoo hoo!

The only thing is I don't really care for the pills mom gives me now. Mom says thats very convenient for me seeing as how I was happy to eat her medicine but don't want to eat my own. I'm really just suckering her into giving me as many treats as I can get. I've figured out if I eat the hot dog around the pill or lick off the peanut butter around the pill I can get a solid 2 or sometimes even 3 treats before I actually have to eat the pill.

Ibprofen strong enough for humans but too strong for dogs

I am a very expensive dog. At least that’s what my mom tells me. Either way I did not have a fun evening. It started out well enough but then something went horribly wrong and I’m not sure what it was.

Mom got home from work and we went for our evening walk which was fantastic. Then we came home and hung out for a bit and then mom served me delicious meatloaf made just for me with turkey, oatmeal, squash, and carrots.

Then we went back to hanging out and then mom went into the kitchen. This is usually a promising event and I can often sucker her into giving me something if I look real cute. And I did get something, but apparently it was something I’m not allowed. See mom had a bottle of ibuprofen on the counter and foolishly knocked it over and three fell onto the floor. Mom managed to get two of the three pills but I snagged one just before she could get it.

So then mom checks the floor for more and got on the phone. I didn’t really think much of it until she ran out of the house. Apparently she had called the emergency clinic and they told her some nonsense about hydrogen peroxide and vomiting. Well mom didn’t have any of this stuff so she ran to my grandpa’s to pick some up along with a squirter thingy. That’s when it all went terribly wrong.

Mom initially tried to bribe me into putting my mouth on the squirter thingy, but I’m no dummy, so I refused. Then mom muzzled me, held my face still, and stuck it in my mouth. Afterwards I would get kind of woozy and lick and lick my lips like crazy. I even burped a couple of times and mom kept telling me to vomit but I would not give her the satisfaction.

So a couple of phone conversations later we’re in the car. There I was all happy because I thought we were going on yet another walk. However, we arrived at a new place, where a very mean woman put some stuff in my eye. Then about 10 minutes later I barfed up my delicious dinner. The mean lady did have to comb through my vomit though and that made me feel a bit better.

Mom has to give me some medicine which she says is supposed to help protect my tummy. Then she said something horrible about tomorrow morning calling the vet. Mom says I was due to get blood drawn the first week of March but she wants to see if we can do it tomorrow or Monday. Mom even said she’d take me twice if she had too. The horror! The vet said since it was just 200mg and I’m a little over 50lbs I’ll probably be fine but mom just needs to keep an eye on me for the next couple of days. Mom says she knows I’m probably fine but given I have had various slightly elevated kidney and liver enzymes (always different ones) over the past year of blood work, and the fact that I take Prozac, she’s not taking any chances with my liver or kidneys. So she'll call our vet in the morning and see what they recommend as far as a follow up visit.

So I’m still pretty hungry but mom says that’s why I shouldn’t eat stuff off the floor. But in good news mom did pull out the sleeping bag and said we’d be having our sleep over a little early.