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Im not ready to move on

Daisy's Poem

Oh Our little dog, We loved you so much for 14 years and now we want you back. To hold and love but we can only give you tears and say your name.

You were loved by many and you loved back a few. Like Me and Momma and Memo & Papaw too.

There were others that you liked, as long as they sat tight and kept a distance -a foot or two-

My Daisy girl....you were a pup...some kinda hound and a bit of a mutt.

Thats from the eyes of others. To Ann and I...You were a daughter.

I wish to God that we could turn around whats done. We blame ourself and thats no fun.

We know you loved us and we would never bring you harm. We were only trying to help you and now...we are torn.

DaDa... you were such a part of my life and you will be missed.

But I think I should focus on my wife...you were her world, her everything in life. She found love and comfort from you every night and couldn't wait to see you in the mornings light.

I will do my best to love your momma and fill the void

But haven't much hope for I feel destroyed.

We Love You Sweet Little Girl

-Your Daddy

Where do I begin this sad pitiful story about my sweet little Daisy dog. I loved her so much and I feel so lost without her.I blame myself and I guess that's what hurts the worst, knowing I had a hand in her death has totally devastated me. She depended on me and I always told her I would take good care of her and I did let her down. But maybe my story will help someone else, that's the only thing good that can come out of this story.
I have to go back a few years.Daisy came to me as a puppy, she was covered in fleas and had tape worms..she was simply a mess.I took her to my local Vet and after a lot of money spent she became healthy.She saw the vet regularly, and I trusted him, He seem to care and fortunately for Daisy her Mom could afford whatever she needed.But poor Daisy was plagued with ear infections and at about the age of 3 she developed her first Hematoma in one of her ear-lopes. According to the vet I had 2 choices, either operate and drain the blood or do nothing, but by doing nothing, the vet said she would end up with what they call cauliflower ear which could lead to other problems. So Of course the operation went ahead. The Operation was a success, She bled for days and made a mess everywhere but after she healed. We just put it behind us and loved our Daisy. Years passed....She never missed her annual visits. At about age 7, Daisy again developed another hematoma, this time in the other ear. Yet again another operation. This time though, Daisy had a hard time recovering and it really took a toll on her and I was scared she was going to die. But finally she got better. (Fast Forward seven year) Now Daisy is 13 years old......and yep, you guessed it...another hematoma. But now Daisy is old, she isn't as active and I knew in my heart she could not go through another operation. But off to the vet we went. Ive known this vet for 13 years and he knew my Daisy. He wanted to do surgery again, I said NO WAY, I cried a puddle and told him I didn't think she could go though that again. He insisted she could and would be fine. Something inside me (a gut feeling) knew she could not. But he basically talked me into it. Told me if we didn't do the surgery she would get a ear infection he couldn't treat and she would not be able to walk. I was torn, so reluctantly I agreed. He would keep her over night and do the operation in the morning. As they picked her up to take her in the back she actually pooped (I had never seen her do that before) That memory haunts me (breaks my heart). I went home and I never fell asleep the whole night, It was like someone was kicking me in the gut ..I tossed and turned and kept saying" No I got to stop this operation" she isn't going to make it...but I didn't...to my relief the vet called and said it was over and daisy was awake and I could pick her up that evening.
We picked her up...Momma and Daddy was so happy she was ok. Him and I loved this little dog.
That night (Friday) she coughed all night, worried us, but we thought maybe it was from being put to sleep from the operation. The very minute the vets office opened the next day (Saturday- March 27, 2009), I called... told the vet she coughed all night He seemed put off...like I was bugging him about this dog...Daisy will be fine he assures me...and I'll see her Monday if she is still coughing.
I knew something was wrong...I tried to get my husband and the vet to help me and everyone thought I was micro managing her. Daisy started walking the house. She would not sit down... every step she took I was behind her but she didn't seem to be in pain but kept coughing. Then suddenly at about 11:50 pm Saturday night her breathing got very shallow.I knew she only had moments. She walked to the bathroom (her hiding place, and the ceramic tile is cold ) she just lay-ed down and cut her eyes up toward us and died "Quietly" The Moral to this story...listen to your gut feelings and your heart..an operation is always a option...don't let anyone talk you into something you know isn't right.
Note: I paid that vet $300 to kill my Baby, but I would have gave him $3000 to save her and he also talked me into cleaning her teeth...so she died with clean teeth (Grrrrr) My poor baby. I will always love you and I'm so sorry.
- Momma