I am Still Alive

I am the Shadow of Chompo.
I still live, but after at least three strokes I am a little slower.
But isn't that life?
I still like to eat sleep and excrete.
I have a difficult time hearing, but that cuts down on my fear of fireworks.
Whew! Living!

I am 15

I am a little old to be a model now, but I sure like the attention. Sometimes I just go outside and wander around and sniff. And sit. And sniff. What's going on? I think I hear my travelling toaster calling my name.

Good thing I live in rainbowland. One day soon, I guess I gotta move there. But I am doing OK now!

www.chompo.com

I Can't Hear None Too Much

What?

What?

Who are you? What are you-- Oh. It's you.

I didn't hear.

I have to pee.

www.chompo.com

Suddenly Sodden

They're circling again. The Copters. They want me back, but I won't go. I served my time, and I told them so, but they NEED me. but I don't need them.

Into the shadows I roam, hiding in the dark, waiting.

It all goes back to the Unelected President and his big descision to leave us behind. Into the tunnels I went, and came out a hero.

I am Chompo. The Secret Weapon.

chompo.com

Merry Crapmass!

I was eating some bones and my poop got all hard and white and swung from my bottom hanging by a single silvery tree tassle. Or whatever you call them.

Then I peed on the rug,

Merry Chompmass!

Please watch My Cartoon

Look people, my cartoon has been up now for a year, and what I would really like for Xmas (although I am a Zooraster by nature) is for you to see it and tell people about it and make me famous.

Why?

Because I am getting sick of obscurity. It cuts into my meglomania.

http://www.chompo.com/lunch.html

4th of July gives me the Shakes

I hate 4th of July. Nothing against the founding of this great nation that I have the privilidge to pass wastes on, but this fireworks thing has got to stop!

The people who care for me now don't know my true origins. I'm an American Hero. Moghadishu, Somalia - 1993. I was year old, but my comrades were in trouble. 2 Black Hawk helicopters went down in the center of the city, and our boys were fighting for their lives, but no one could get to them. Except the tunneling terrier - me.

Weaving amongst the wounded, I wound my way through rubble cracks, past starving citizens, to locate our boys. And I found them. But the firepower was deafening. My radio collar called in the UN support staff, and by morning I limped home with the surviors. But I never forget. And when the shells go off to celebrate, I remember.

That's why I shake a lot and jump into the shower.

Chompo.

I Like Eating

There is no doubt about it. I like eating. Mostly I like to eat dog food, but that's mainly because that's what I can get. Chewy chicken snacks are better, but what I really like is Korean BBQ, lamb's blood, and coconut toenails. Got any?

Visit chompo.com - not enough people have.

I Like Spelunking

Sometimes, when I feel like it, I go spelunking in the toilet. First, I make sure nobody is in the room with me. Then I take a tennis ball and drop it down the hole, watching it splat in the underground water cistern below. Now, comes the exciting part. I have to rescue the ball.

I climb down into the cistern and paw at the recultant yellow-green orb. It gets awaqy, anopther paw, and deeper into the abyss I go. When the moment is right, I grab for it with my mouth, barely getting the whole thing in - and I don't let go. I climb out of the cave and leap to the ground below.

When I go and show the others my grand accomplishment, and successful rescue operation, they never seem to pleased. Yelling, and throwing the dripping rescuee to the ground, I run to fetch it. Deep down I know they are proud, even if they get upset about toilet water flooding the partment.

- Le Chompo

Sniffles

Last week I made a terrbile mistake - I ate the mailman.

All dogs know that mailmen are the bane of modern society. They bring foreign and dangerous objects to the home, like letters, bills, and mysterious packages from amazon.com. But what most dogs don't know is that, like kids allergic to peanut butter, you can be allergic to the mailman.

Now I am all puffed up and sneezing. I will never make that mistake again.

Chompo
http://www.chompo.com