Fun With My Ball - (And Annoying Mom! BOL!)

FINALLY... mom found me a new squeaky ball that I LOVE!!!!
(I chewed a hole in the one I had, and it wasn't as much fun anymore. Cuz, you know, the loud squeaking is the best part! It was still my favorite toy tho, hole and all.)
The store mom got my ball at stopped carrying it, so she looked online. Well, she couldnt find it there either:( She ordered one that looked similar, and it came one day in the mail, but I wouldn't have anything to do with it. But, she didn't give up. She ordered another one online, it came, and this one is even better than the one I used to have!! It is LOUD and the perfect consistency and size for my mouth! Here are some pics:


OLD BALL


NEW BALL


Mom's been spending so much quality time with me here at our new place. I mean, its "ALL ABOUT SUNNY" here!

We used to play this little game with my ball when we lived at our old place, and now we are playing it here too. I just gotta tell you how much fun it is:

When mom gets ready to nap, I bring her my ball. Sometimes, she hides it under the covers and I scratch and go under the covers trying to find it. Gosh, I just love that!
But, this next game is my favorite! Mom slowly pushes the ball to the edge of the bed... until it falls off. When it does, mom screams, "Whoooaaaaa" really loud and it gets me all excited! I run down my puppy steps off the bed to get it. When I get it, I shake it in my mouth so it squeaks and squeaks! Then, mom calls me back to the bed and we start all over again! (I dont know if our upstairs neighbor loves the ball too much tho! As, our walls are very thin! BOL!)

The other day, mom was soo tired and just wanted to nap. I wanted to play tho! So, I took matters into my own hands. I was using my nose to push the ball right to the edge of the bed.... then, I would push it over. And of course, even tho mom was tired, she let out a pretty pathetic, "Whooooaaaa" for me. (She was just too happy that I am playing like that!) And down the puppy steps I'd go to get it, shake it, and squeak it.

That day, I think I carried things a bit too far tho! I wouldnt stop! I kept going up and down, on and off the bed!! Mom had to yell at me to stop and hold me next to her to get me to lay down!!! Hee hee heee!!!

You guys should try that game if you have a squeaky ball - its a TON of fun!!!

Obviously, I'm feeling really well! I am playful and happy. I am licking more often lately... but it doesnt seem to be affecting my behavior. Maybe we need to tweak my meds a bit. I go back for a recheck next week. I did have bloodwork a few weeks ago and it was normal:)

Just Some Information That May be of Interest...

I just wanted to share some info that my sweet friend BUTTERCUP shared with me, and that I learned by doing with Suns the past few days. (I always have to learn by doing! That can be rough!)

The day before yesterday, I fed Sun ONLY WET FOOD. And then yesterday, he had a good day. Well, yesterday, I fed wet AND DRY. Now, today, he is not himself again. He seems to have a belly ache, is lethargic, and he burped soon after getting up.
SO - this totally tells me that the DRY is NOT agreeing with him. And it confirms what Buttercup told me. She said that if you add water to dry food and let it sit, it expands several times its size. So, imagine that in a little dogs stomach!

The reason I kept on with the dry is that at one time, it HELPED Sunny a great deal. Before he diagnosed with IBD, I used to feed only wet. Then, when he was diagnosed with IBD, I tried adding dry. And at that time, it made a HUGE difference! It really HELPED!

But now, I see that it is not helping. And what I did the other day confirms it. Like what I wrote yesterday, you really don't know the effects of something until you try it. It's trial and error. What may work at one time or for one dog, may not work at another time or for another dog. So, FITZ, keep those suggestions coming, my friend!

It stinks cuz he loves his "crunchies":( And he gets NOTHING else to eat. But, I know... I have to weigh what is most important here.

I just wanted to share this with whomever takes the time to read this, as it may at some point be helpful:)

Trying Not to Panic

The past 2-3 days, Sunny has been getting more and more tired – more and more like he was at my parent’s house. He is just wanting to lay on the bed or floor on his blanket, (I just bought him a new blanket-style bed and he doesn’t like it), and sleep almost all the time. As the past few days have gone by, his initiating play has gone down to zero. I tried to get him to play with his ball today, and it was like he wanted to, but didn’t have the energy. He still barks most of the time at neighbors when he hears them or when he sees them thru the doors, but he doesn’t always want to come outside with me when I go out anymore He still wants to go for walks, but doesn’t seem to be able to go for very long. This all started when I started giving him crackers for his nausea, which I’ve since stopped – yesterday afternoon.

I am not sure what is going on. It doesn’t seem to be his stomach, although it could be. He WAS doing the licking-swallowing and lip smacking yesterday, which I thought was caused BY THE CRACKERS, but hasn’t at all today.

It could be his liver. He has a genetic liver condition called Microvascular Dysplasia. When his IBD flares, his liver values often go up, and he gets tired. He usually needs to be hospitalized when that happens. My regular vet, (the one I took Sunny to to have put down – where the vet tech works), called me on Friday and left a message. She asked how Sunny was doing and said she said she wanted to check his liver values. I didn’t call her back yet. I am not sure what to do. I don’t know if I will take him there for bloodwork or to Dr. Ron, his internal medicine specialist. I would like to take him to Dr. Ron for 2 reasons. Number one – he has FAR more knowledge about Sunny and his condition. He is a specialist! Plus, I hate to say this, but in the past, my regular vet has known NOTHING about Sunny’s condition and I have NO FAITH in them. (That’s another story. I was going to go another regular vet and talked to Dr. Ron about this already, but then all this happened.) Granted, I never saw this doc I am dealing with now, (the one wouldn’t put Sun down and helped get the vet tech to watch him), but I still have much more faith in Dr. Ron.) And number two – one time I had bloodwork done at my regular vet, and Dr. Ron specifically told me to please have all bloodwork done at his place. He said that they have the capabilities to read it on the spot and said its much easier for him than having it faxed over. So, I suppose I have to “take the bull by the horns”, so to speak, and tell Sun’s regular vet doc that I am going to Dr. Rons for the bloodwork. I just feel bad b/c she helped me so much with setting up the vet tech’s watching him and all…

It could be his kidneys. He’s had a high acid content in his urine for the past few months. We don’t know why. There is no infection and it is not due to his diet. Dr. Ron said we aren’t going to worry about it now, but could be liver or kidneys.
It could be that Sunny is just tired from the move and all the excitement. I am tired…

Also, it could be that this is just how Sunny will be. And that is okay if that is the case. I was thinking yesterday how “different” he is than all the other dogs around here. He is such a special boy. Yes, he is a “special needs” dog. And that is okay. I didn’t see that before, or even know that. It all was blurred living with my parents. And he wasn’t around other dogs so we couldn’t really compare. He is soo sooo sweet and loving! But, he is so scared and so meek. I need to make him feel safe and secure. And my plan that I had before we moved in, before I got him back from the vet tech, of treating him like a normal dog – that’s not going to work for him. Because he is NOT a normal dog! He needs special love and attention. Like a little boy with unique needs. Just like the kids I used to work with!

On a positive note, his leg seems to be good, and he is eating like a piggy! Since I saw what the effect of the crackers had on him, I am feeding him wet food only. I’ve fed him 2 small bowels of wet food so far today (its 3:30) and he hasn’t lip-smacked or licked once!! A man who was helping me at a pet store one time told me that dry food is harder to digest than wet. I took that with a grain of salt, b/c I think that what works for one dog may not work for another. But, he may have a point. So, I’m feeding all wet and going to see how it goes.

I suppose I will try to get him in for bloodwork this coming week. I’d also like to speak to him about taking Sunny on as a “charity case” for all future care. I think I mentioned that before in an entry.

After writing this, (and saving it in Word! LOL!), I feel better. I am hoping and praying for Sun. Its ok if he is tired and sleeps a lot. He isn’t in pain, like the doc said to me a few weeks ago. He still can enjoy walks and greeting people and dogs right outside his house. I guess I needed to move to this place that is perfect for him, and come to terms with him being “different”. (That brought tears to my eyes ) Different than he was, and different than other dogs. But, that is okay. Cuz he will always be perfect to me! (And hey, his mom is sure “different”! LOL! So, we can be different together!) Now, I’m bawling…)

Very Happy Days!

Finally, I have time and am not totally exhausted so I can write!

Things are good!!! Really good! Beyond my expectations. Sunny seems soooo happy here, and I am happy too. There are still a few signs of his IBD - like stomach noises, and a burp or two after eating, but thats it. He woke me up last nite at 3am and was licking... or didn't feel well... I was so tired and out of it. But, he went right back to sleep. It could have been that it was a new place for him, and am not going to focus on it.

He really seems to absolutely LOVE it here!! There are soo many other dogs around, and we've already met a few! There is also so much "action", which he loves! I live on the first floor and have sliding glass doors with a small patio. In front of the patio is a small grassy area which leads to the parking lot. So, during the day, I keep my sliding doors open and he watches everyone coming and going. I also go out to smoke (I know, MY BAD!) on the patio every.... so often .... so he comes out with me while I sit in my chair and he is on the leash. He is constantly greeting people and socializing. This is SO good for him. As when we lived at my parents house, he saw no one.

We also went for a few walks around the complex, which he loved! I need to make that a daily routine.

He initiated play with his toys so many times today!! And he is doing things he hasn't done since he was a puppy! Like, the way he plays - he tips his toys off the bed and then runs off to get them.. little things like that. AND... yesterday, the first day we were here, he was HUMPING me and the maintenance man!!! BOL! He humped me 3 times yesterday!!! I was just laughing, as I knew it was out of happiness and excitement. He didnt hump today, so I doubt it will be a routine thing.

Last night something freaked me out tho. I was checking his fur for mats, as he still has the half shaved look and is in desperate need of a groom. (I just havent wanted to put him thru that.) And I found a big mat on his side. I got a scissor and cut it out, and under the mat was a TICK!!!
I did my best not to freak out... I called Jena and asked her what to do, as I didnt have any Vaseline. She said to try alcohol on a cotton ball to see if it comes out on its own. It didnt. So, I got the tweezers and had to pull it out. DANG... it held on for dear life! Sun's skin was stretched out at least a half inch while I was trying to get it to let go. Finally, it did and TO THE TOILET I RAN!!!

His leg seems good. He isnt favoring it at all. So, hopefully, it is healing on its own and he wont need more surgery on it.

I am hoping things will keep getting better for Sun, and this environment will help him heal in all ways: mind, body and soul. I realize the first few days are exciting, and I'm hoping the excitement doesnt wear off and he goes back to not feeling well. Hoping and praying for the best.

We are soo grateful to each and every one of our Dogster friends. I got some thank-you's done, but am still working on them. So, if I havent gotten in touch with you, please know I will, and I am grateful for the way you've all touched our lives.

MUST get some rest...

Sunny sends big hugs to you all!
Luv, Sunny and Mer

One Last Entry

I suppose this is it. I am moving tomorrow and so ready to get it over with. I am stressed and miss Sunny more than anything. I needed the break, but Friday started missing him like crazy.

I am hoping to get him on Tuesday morning. But, it has to be very early before Jena starts work - cuz I dont want him in a cage, waiting for me. So, as long as tomorrow goes smoothly and I am able to get up so early the next morning, I will do that. If not, I will be getting him Tuesday night after she is done with work.

I will keep you updated on how things are going for us. I hope and pray to dear God that they go well. I love him so much and want to have a wonderful life ahead with him.

Thank you all...

Luv, Meredith and soon Sunny will be back here too

A Concerning Call from the Vet Tech

Some good news, some concerning news.
The good news is that I spoke to a friend tonight who gave me some great suggestions to try with Sun that I feel very positive about. I cant wait to try them and am so thankful for her reaching out to me and sharing her knowledge!!

(Gosh, I have to say to ALL OF YOU ~ I never could have gotten thru this without you! Each and every one of your comments have helped break down the negativity that surrounded me. I am so grateful, I cant even begin to thank you!)

Back to what I was saying... the thing I am concerned about is that the vet tech called and was hesitant about telling me how Sun was doing. Then, she asked me if he was clumsy or accident prone. I said, "Not really.. why?" She said that he was walking ahead of her down her hallway and was turning around to make sure she was following. (He keeps her in his sight at all times.) He apparently walked into the doorway and hit his chest/above his sternum. She cuddled him, as he was a bit taken aback, but he seemed fine. Well, he woke up today with a small bruise there. She was very worried and took him to work with her and had the doc look at it. The doc said the bruise was just that - a bruise, and he would be fine. And as a precaution, they did bloodwork on him. That was fine too. It just is rather strange and I have to admit, stresses me a bit. Granted, her house is unfamiliar and once in a while he will walk into something here... but I wouldnt say he is clumsy.

She stopped the Tramadol 2 days ago and did say she noticed a difference and his is peppier. So, that is good...

I'm just a bit concerned about this recent episode. My heart is beating a mile a minute again. Need to relax... breathe… and be strong for my boy. I can do this!

Relief and Positivity has arrived....

Last night, someone, (you know who you are), somehow, got thru to me. I dont know how, if something clicked in my brain or a word was said that triggered something... but after reading a pmail, all the anxiety left. It was the strangest thing. I'm still not sure if just my time away from him has made me forget how sick he is.... and I'm remembering him in a good way. But, I dont think so. Cuz it came on so suddenly.

REGARDLESS - this is such a good thing!!! Because now I have hope and am seeing things in a new way... I am just exhausted beyond belief and cant write it all now. But I think I'm believing what you all are telling me finally: how the stress of my house CAN make him sick! It made me sick! And how I am treating him like he is sick, watching him, obsessing over him, so he is going to be sick! Getting out of this toxic environment and starting over will be soooooooo good for us!! YES - he has a chance!!! But, in order for me to get us out of here, I need these few days alone to pack, shop and move - and I cant afford to have him see me stressing. I need to be ready, strong, and have the new place set for when he comes home.

Talked to Jena last night. She said:

1. He is very needy. (I am well aware of this). He needs to be with her at all times and have her in his sight. (This is one of the reasons I'm so stressed!) Not sure if its his nature (probably partly), probably partly due to all his hospitalizations, partly cuz of this house, and probably partly b/c of my stress and anxiety!

2. She stopped the Tramadol (pain med) and he is more perky! YAYYYYY!!!

3. He isnt limping anymore, but still favoring his leg.

4. I told her about my plan to ask his doc to take him on as a charity case, and she thought that was good idea

5. She thinks we will do well in our new home

6. Told her I will not be visiting

7. She said he is such a good boy. So relaxed, does everything she wants.

Tonight, she texted me. (I cant talk to her every night. Too hard.) She said he is doing "good".

I am so embarassed and ashamed that my faults have affected my little boy to this extent. I love him more than anything. I ask that you do not judge me for whats happened and accept/understand that I am doing my best.

You have all been MORE than supportive - and I think you finally got thru to me!!! I still havent even gotten to look at all Sun's gifts and go thru my mail.. and still cant talk to all those I want to. Please bear with me.. I know I would NEVER have been able to get here if it werent for you all. I would have cracked. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!! I just pray things will work out... off to bed. Nite!

Update From Vet Tech and Me...

Talked to Jenna, vet tech, last night. (She was going to call me each night after 8, but even that is proving to stressful for me.) She said Sunny is doing "Good", with a hesitant tone in her voice, (not sure if I read into that..) AND that he is sometimes limping on his leg he just had luxating patella surgery on. I cried. (He had ripped an internal stitch about a week ago, I took him to the surgeon, he said it might heal on its own, but it may require another surgery to repair. Going back beginning of October.) I asked her if he is playing at all, like with his toys. She said, "Ummmm, not really, but he does jump up when I get out his food". So, he is exactly like he was here. I know it. I feel it. The only time he would get excited is when I went to give him his, "Crunchies". Thats what I call his dry food. And he gets so excited.. by boy, my sweet boy who cant have any other food but his special diet. But, he gets so excited to have his dry food! I gave him a hot dog before I took him to the vet to try to send to the angels on Saturday.. he gulped it down! He hadnt had real food in so long! He had some diarrhea, but that was it. I'm rambling and getting upset..

I spent the rest of the night crying. I miss him soooo much. He will now most likely need the repair surgery on his leg if he stays with us.

Jenna also said she was going to stop giving the Tramadol last night. I said, "Fine", as I told her to experiment with and without it. I know she sees how he is so tired and has no quality of life....

Not sure I can go see him Saturday. You guys say I should tho. Maybe I should be strong and go.. for him. If you think I should go, I will do it. I dont want him to think I forgot about him, but dont want him to get upset when I leave and think, "Why isnt she taking me with her??"

Thank you all for being with me thru this. This is such a nightmare. I'm so sorry I cant talk to many of you on the phone, but I breakdown. And I cant afford to do that right now. I have to be strong to pack and shop for the move. I wish I could just take Valium and be out of it... and feel no pain, but I cant. I have too much to do.

And thank you for all the gifts and pmails and candles!! I am so overwhelmed and so grateful!!

Love, Meredith

PS - I posted a pic of Sunny before I took him to the vet on Saturday to go with the angels. Its his main pic. Look at his eyes - he isnt there anymore.. my boy is gone...

Sunny Went with the Vet Tech and My Thoughts

Didnt sleep much last night and awoke with a pounding headache. Miss him so much already. Dont know if I can go the full week without seeing him. They say dogs dont have a sense of time??? What do you guys think about me going to visit him on Saturday? Just to let him know I didnt abandon him?? Every time he was in hospital, I visited him every day. We've never been apart like this.

Gave Sunny to Jenna - the vet tech last night. It was hard, as we had to wait for an hour and a half for her to get off work. I met her at the vet, as she lives pretty far. (I could have just dropped him off there, but he would have had to wait in a cage, and I couldnt do that to him.) We walked around for a while, but he got tired. (All he wants to do basically is sleep.) So, we got in the car and he just curled up in my lap and went to sleep. I could feel his stomach churning with my hand as I held him. It was non-stop. And I sat there, and sat there, thinking and thinking, as he slept. I started crying.. but tried real hard to hold back the tears, as I didnt want to upset Sun.

I took him to the pet store yesterday and he pooped 2x on the floor. Got him a new toy and he wanted to want to play with it, but he couldnt. It just broke my heart. He isnt my boy anymore.

He is much sicker ON this new med than he was before. I know that. So, maybe when we cut the dose in half in a month, he will be better. And, maybe the combo of the new med and pain pill is making him tired or feeling sick. I dont think he needs the pain pill - (I dont know if thats making him worse..), so I told Jenna to give it to him for a day or two, and watch him. Then, I told her NOT to give it for a day and see how he is - and compare.

She is really sweet. I made her a chart for his meds and wrote up everything I could think of about him for her. She really appreciated that.

She took his little car seat I have in the passenger side front of my car and put it in hers. He went in it in her car with no problem.. he is such a good boy. It feels so empty here... I forget he is not here sometimes and turn around and look for him. It also is a bit of a relief... as I dont have to see him suffering.

My mom and I talked when I got home from taking Sun (yes, she was actually nice and we had a normal conversation) and she said how when people get really sick and cant walk anymore or are in a wheelchair, they still go on living. They may not have the quality of life they once did, but they dont die. They may want to die...
That made me think...
But... I sure dont have the money to be putting Sunny in and out of the hospital in future years... I'd have to ask Dr. Ron if Sunny could be a "charity case"?? But, I wouldnt want to watch him suffering if he didnt feel good and just sleep all the time??

I know I wont be rushing anytime soon to send Sunny to the bridge. After he is on the new med for a month, I want to cut down on it like the bottle says, and see how he does on half the dose. I really think that is making him feel sicker.

Anyway, enuf rambling. I'm really confused and having a tough time. I hate to say it, but its been 5 days on the new med and he is... sortof sicker... more "different". He isnt licking and swallowing (signs of nauseau) much anymore, heck, I dont think he has the energy to lick! But, his stomach is churning and churning and he is limp and lifeless! The doc said it may take the med 10 days to work.. I dont think there is going to be a drastic change in the next 5 days... unless the pain med is interacting and causing him to be so tired and limp...

I saw they did a crosspost from Doghouse. Someone must have started a candle for Sun. Whoever started it: WE THANK YOU! That was so kind and means sooo much! I will get to the Doghouse soon!

I have always sent individual 'thank-yous' in the past, but I just dont know that I can do it this time. PLEASE KNOW how thankful we are to you all!!! I will try to get in touch one way or the other with you all, but it is going to take me lots of time. With the move... and all thats going on.

Hugs.. Mer

Trying to Put it In God's Hands...

I was so full of hope last night. Now, things look so bleak again. I told Sun this morning we were "Going to the pet store to get a new ball" - something he always gets sooo excited about. This time, the first time I told him, he just walked away. I told him again, in my excited voice, and he just looked at me.

I am trying so hard to let go and say, "What will be will be". But, I cant. I love him too much. This is killing me.

He is going with the vet tech today at 5. Maybe he will do well, maybe he wont. My heart is breaking for him.