Pepper Power Activated!

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Treeing Birdhouses.

February 4th 2011 2:20 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Pepper Power In

There is something living in the Love Shack birdhouse, I just know it. I can smell whatever is living up there and am fairly certain little pink pointy noses are not birds.

This morning I sat on the deck bench right under the Magnolia tree with the Love Shack birdhouse in it. I stood on my hind legs and sniffed and sniffed and sniffed until my legs shook from holding my weight.

I didn't care that it was raining. I sniffed and sniffed and sniffed some more.

I jumped down and sniffed under the deck that I could stick my nose under. I sniffed all around that tree. I sniffed by the fence and around the corner of the house. Still my nose led me back to the bench under the tree. I stood back up and sniffed a big snout full of sniffs.

My whiskers curved toward the front of my nose with the power of my sniffing. It kept raining on me but I didn't care. I just kept sniffing and sniffing and sniffing some more.

Looking and sniffing. Sniffing and looking.

Finally I headed back to th warmth and dry of the house, but took up guard on the back of the couch. I tried sniffing, but inside are different sniff smells. I did lots of looking. Looking and looking.

Yep - I knew it. That Love Shack birdhouse started swinging a bit other than in the breeze. Out popped a sharp nose and a beady eye. Little claws making their way out of the Love Shack birdhouse front door.

I barked my alarm that reaches the highest notes humans can still hear and not have their brains explode like crystal does on tv. The other dogs came running at full alarm bark mode intended to scare off all intruders. Be they no footed, blue footed, 2 footed or 4 footed.

That rat in the Love Shack birdhouse sauntered out and climbed down the tree as we howled to be let out. To fight our battle outside against the intruder. To do what Papillons do best and worry the little dickens to death with our smarts, skills and tenacity.

Who am I kidding - we'd have ripped that party crasher a new one.

Last we saw it was headed to the neighbors yard. Mom revoked window viewing rights and closed the blinds on us.

Later we went outside with her while she took the Love Shack birdhouse down from the tree and threw it away. Said tempting the devil is one thing - darn right baiting the minions under his control w/ a rat house hanging just out of reach was another.

Does anypup know what a "minion" is? I didn't think the way it came out of Mom's mouth sounded as funny as she thought.

Pepper Power Out.

 

Groans and Moans.

February 5th 2011 12:07 am
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

Pepper Power On.

Any other pup out there love to flop down and just use the carpet as a scratching pad?

The whole carpet?

Moaning and groaning with the glory of the movement?

Pepper Power Off.

Back to spinning circles on my back.

 

Public Service Announcement: Dogs that Hoard.

February 15th 2011 7:58 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Pepper Power In.

This is a public service announcement on a topic I have to live with every day of my dog life. While it is hard for those of us without this awful condition to understand, the reality is that many dogs out there are in fact hoarders.

If sad tails make your eyes leak, you may want to change the channel. The facts I am about to let you in on will tear at heartstrings.

Dogs that hoard, it's a more common happenstance than one would even begin to think. Let me walk you through the 3 study cases I am in contact with on a daily basis.

A Boy and His Food.
First the sad story of Scooter who looking a round as a Pooh Bear is still afraid his supply of SNACKS will run out. Therefore he must savor and hoard them thus forcing all the other dogs into the "Vulture role" waiting for him to finally move so the quickest pup can swoop in for his used food (Mom says we're supposed to call them leftovers, but it really is used food). Scooter will lick his SNACKS and then just plain fall asleep on them all day long. You don't look for belly button lint on Scooter - you sniff around for SNACKS. BOL!! If you give him a Greenie he will smack his gums and slobber on it for a while, but then sometimes he just sits there all smug looking as he proves he has some still left. Sad, sad story.

Let's move onto the next case study I have to work with.

A Boy and his Sock. (hee hee, think about it BOL)
This is a story about Cutter and his obsession with socks. Not healthy clean socks, dirty stinky Mom sweated in gym socks. The stinkier the happier he runs through the house with his "score". He will lay there and lick the stink out of the socks if you give him the chance. Not happy unless he has bakers dozen in socks with him in bed by the end of the week. He will steal them out of the hamper and bring them back to bed and make a nest out of them. Marking his territory as no other dog wants to lay in that sock stench. If he finds himself in a room that has been "horror of horrors" been "picked up" and divested of socks, he will raid his secret stash and bring one out for comfort. We can only be thankful that this is not a pantie hoarder as it would make for a very red face for Mom at times. BOL.

The final case study is the most heart wrenching. Please turn away if you cannot stand a sad tail.

A Bitch and her Bones.
Queen Misty is a bone hider. Like an alcoholic hiding her stash, Queen Misty hides her bones. Sure, she makes a show of chewing that bone you give her, but as soon as she can hide it under her dog bed, the pillows on Mom's bed, or her favorite place is outside in the summer. In the summer Queen Misty will move it around 3 or 4 times depending on finding a better spot to hide it in or even worse, another dog spots her hiding it. Often after hiding her bone Queen Misty will run in and sneak one away from either Cutter or Scooter. Faking like she is interested she will then hide that bone either inside or outside depending on weather and access. Always a different spot. Queen Misty will then pull her best Risk game moves by guarding her bone placement spots. Once the bones have been hidden, they need to be re-hidden many, many times during the life of that dog bone. Sad, so sad to have to hide things that bring you pleasure and not take any enjoyment out of it.

There my pup pals, if you are still on the PPB (Pepper Power Barkcasting) channel, is the info I have compiled to date on this tragic issue we as canines have to deal with. I am unwilling to publish my statics that support 75% of all dogs hoard based on the 4 of us living here. If others would like to send in support to help me with my study and facts it would be appreciated.

Pepper Power Out.

PS. are there any toy hoarders, stick hoarders, etc out there.

 

Beauticians Assistant.

February 20th 2011 7:25 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Pepper Power In.

I applied and showed up for an interview for a Beauticians Assistant today, but when I showed up, they told me I wasn't "exactly what they had in mind". Without even so much as a bowl of water I was shown the doggie door.

Baroooorooooroooo!!

I didn't even get to discuss the benefit I would be to the team with all my talents. I am an excellent greeter, making sure the guest has all my attention.

Offering great customer awareness skills I check in periodically to make sure they have not been drowned unwittingly. You never car trust a human that will torture you with water and egad, soap.

Towel warming at your service for your wet body whence the spa treatment has been completed. I make sure to take that flat towel Mom has laid out for you and scrunch it into a ball and warm it up with my body for you. Otherwise it might be cold from the floor.

Assist in the shampoo and conditioner selection. Making sure you really white dogs get the correct brightening shampoo, Scooter his anti itch, etc. Oddly, if you go to the Beauticians Hall of Fame, you will see that to achieve the best colors, the weirdest colors are applied. Did you know for extra white, white, white butts you use purple shampoo? Yep - the one with the Westie on the front.

Knowledge of clients. Honestly? Read above.

I will commiserate with you over the nail treatment. After all what girl wants her nails clipped and filed? Toe pad trims, the WORST!

I will help you towel dry off when you are finally out of the water basin of torture and then run zoomies with you with your so called clean dog smell.

When you sit on the heater vent to dry off, I will make sure you turn over once in a while by trying to take your SNACK.

It might be best however that I didn't get the job. I don't have something called a Social Security Number whatever that is. Not sure why that would matter. I have a micro chip in me, a tattoo on my thigh, dog tags and an AKC registration. That alone should be enough for a small business loan.

Pepper Power Out.

 

Timing is Everything,.

February 22nd 2011 9:36 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Pepper Power In.

Do you ever just stand there knowing your Mom wants you to come in and just look at her?

Do you just sniff around when your Mom says hurry up already?

Do you ever just ignore her if she is hissing her name under her breath because it is late at night or early in the morning?

Do you just hide up in the bushes in the daytime or night time just out of sight and play invisible dog?

Do you ignore multiple door openings and checking upon?

Do you outsmart the "turn the outside light off" ploy?

Do you wait until.....
w...aaa....iiii...ttt
and NOW hurl your body at the door and bark at the decibel of a 747? Repeatedly!!

Right when she is in her hurry up spot..

Well so do I.

Pepper Power Out.

 

Snowcones.

February 23rd 2011 11:53 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

Pepper Power On.

I am crazy about that frozen stuff that falls from the sky. It is so tasty when it is tossed into the yard and I can chase it.

Also good along the edges where the salt is put down for the furless foot path.

Pepper Power Out.

 

Ice. Apparently not to be Brought to Bed.

February 24th 2011 9:45 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Pepper Power In.

Ice pack of snow melt. Oh, tasty goodness.

I think I will go get another.

I guess they don't last very long when you bring them inside and hide them in bed.

Pepper Power Out.

 

Snow Clearing Service.

February 25th 2011 9:26 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Pepper Power In.

All that snow piled up on the deck. I have to go out there and EAT it. So tasty. Loves the ice cream rock salt Mom threw out there and is now mixed in the snow.

I had always thought of myself as a sweet gal, but now understand life is all about salt. No wonder me and Mom get along so well. She may have a good idea about temple for salt lick in the corner.

She's never thrown that stuff out before, but it was slick and icy. Usually the snow is more wet and melty. This was like sprinkles of loveliness you have to snoot around for under the snow that fell on top of it last night.

I might bloat up for a while. I might not pee for 2 days. I suppose it is up to Mother Nature on when she wants to send weather warmer than below freezing. Until then I must eat deck snow!!!

Pepper Power Out.

 

Snow Doo Rules.

March 1st 2011 10:33 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Pepper Power On.

Well now, I feel that if it snows, the backdrop is now clear and fresh. How am I to know if the deck isn't supposed to be peed or doo'd on? The green grass isn't showing, the flower bed boundaries aren't anything but snowy white. Why can't I doo on that area of the yard/garden/deck?

Why else would snow fall unless it wanted me to mark it as I felt necessary?

I would like to enact a new rule. Snow Doo Rule - you can pee or doo as close to the house as you want if it in covered in white.

Even if it is up against the sliding glass door window. Hey, my feet were on the snowy part. Snow rules and all....

Pepper Power Out.

 

The Tale of a Broken Tail.

March 1st 2011 11:56 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Pepper Power Activated.

I have a broken tail. I can't tell you why because I came to Mom that way. In fact you wouldn't even know I had a broken tail unless you actually felt at the very end where it is broken at the very tip.

Mom has her thoughts on why, but won't share with me on things like that.

So that made me think of Pennie and her tale of her tail. I want her to be comfy with the idea of a little adjustment to her hindside.

I offer up some of my perk me up thoughts for my broken tail woes.

*I can swagger into any dog park and know I have something to bark about.

*It still wags and seems to wag better than before.

*The Awww factor - don't ever not use that for a benefit.

*Hair weaves are an option, although I have plenty to "wag" over, so this should be consulted with by professionals.

*You always have a pupversation topic to start at any dog gathering.

*Believe it or not, the wag of your butt actually does have to do with the length of your tail. You may circle a bit more now, but your tail will still keep wagging.

Pepper Power De-Activated.

 
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