September 26th 2012 10:40 pm
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So it are da day for my advice column. Remember to ask any questions you got for me pupses!
What do you love best swimming or barking??
Hmmm, dat are hard. See, I loves da swimming a lot, specially in da summer when it is hot. Or in da fall, which I guess it are now, because it are still hot here. In fact, I loved da swimming so much I jumped in da pool when I was a little bitty puppy and it was November and not hot at all. And I used to always try to get in da fountains at UCLA. But I loves barking year round. And day round, BOL. I bark at all kindsa things, like people coming in and outta rooms and Finley and da sky and cars and momma when she are making me my dinner and peoples eating and other stuffs. But you know what are really fun??? Barking and swimming at da same time! I loves getting in my pool float and barking my head off as my momma says even dough my head has never come off. So I guess I loves dem both equally, and it are even better when you can combine 'em!
I am a fetchaholic. Fetchin' is my life! My fambily and furiends say it is innerfearin' with our relationships. I think it brings us closer togefur and gives all sumptin to do. Who is right? Should I try to stop fetchin'?
Hmmm, now it seems to me fetching are a group activity, right? I's never seen any dog fetch on her own, usually da humans have to throw the ball or squeaky toy or whatever it is, right? Unless you've figured out a way to fetch on your own, da fetching has gotta be bringing you and your family together. Sounds to me like you's got a lazy family who's tired of fetching sometimes. Well, I gotta cure for dat and it are called barking. Just let out some maximum volume woofs, and they'll be happy when you get back to fetching and playing and not blasting dere eardrums, ok??
Well, dat are it for dis week, but keep on asking questions!!
September 19th 2012 8:12 pm
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So I told you pupses how I are starting an advice column, right?? So keep da questions coming and I'll be trying to answer some every week!
Dear Mz Whit, bein a barkaholic kinda pup too, what can I do to be more quiet like? I am always gettin hollered at to stop barkin.
It just don't work.
Thank you for your help.
Barkin in Idunno
Now, you says you's a barkaholic kinda pup. Well, I think you shouldn't be doing nothing to change yourself. You is wonderful just the way you is, especially if dat way is permanently set at maximum volume. I get hollered at to be more quiet like too, well mostly it are "shut up Whitley" and "shut the #@%! Whitley" and "for the love of God, shut the #@%! up Whitley." But barkin' are just a part of who I is, and I don't let nobody change dat. Today, I barked on my walk, barked at da other dog at da vet, barked at peoples going in and out of rooms, barked at roofers, barked at all kindsa other stuff too. So I say barkum diem, which are kinda like dat whole carpe diem thing, except it means "bark da day!"
Ok, on to da second question.
Whitley, I has a question.... why duz you love da kitties so much?
Why does I luvs kitties? Hmm, dey are soft and snuggly and good for warming up to in winter. They's also fun to play with. And dey have tasty cat food dat sometimes I get to lick up when dey leave a little bit in their kitty bowlses. And sometimes, dey knock da treatses to da ground for you, especially if dey are named Maurice. And dat kinda help are always useful! BOL! And dey are just sweet and I luvs em!
Don't worry if I didn't get to your question dis time, I'll be answering some more next week. So ask some more and I'll try to help!
September 12th 2012 9:09 am
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So it are my birthday today which means it are party time! All da pupses can come to my house for da birthday extravaganza! We's gonna have eggie weggies (with bacons in 'em) for breakfast then we's gonna play with the toys and stuffs. Da pool are open for swimming and pool ball, but for you crazy pupses who don't like da water you can just chill on da deck or go running through all da plants in my backyard - it are like a real jungle out dere! Dere are gonna be a huge MEATZ buffet for dinner so make sure you is hungry! And were will even be vodka and rum and gin and tequila and whiskey dripses for da mommas if they wanna come too! So everybody come on over and celebrate me!!!!
September 9th 2012 9:57 pm
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Hey pupses, I been thinking. I's gonna be 10 on Wednesday and I got all kinds of wisdom I've accumulaterated in a decade. I's travelled all over da country and lived in lots of different places and junk. So I was thinking that some pupses could benefit from my advice and if you know me, you knows I am not one to be keeping my mouth shut. So I are thinking about starting an advice column. So if you pupses has got a question for me, ask it! You can leave a comment or pawmail if you wants it to be more secret. I got opinions on all kindsa things, barking, baths, squirrels, rats, swimming, barking, walks, cats, da best places to nap, how to avoid nail trimming, barking, toys, getting in fights with siblings, snow, barking, well you gets da idea. So ask away! I'll be trying to answer some every Wednesday, ok??
Today was a pretty good day, well for me anyways. My momma and her pinkie finger might disagree. See, she was getting ready to go out in the pool and I was jumping up and down and barking and getting all excited and when she tried to open da door, her hand interfered with my tooth. i didn't "bite" her, her hand just got in the way! But she still got in a bad mood about it and wouldn't play with me for a while. But my cuteness and barking just melted her icy heart and hurt finger and she played with me eventurally. And den I got a walk tonight cool since it are finally cool enough for walking! I did lots of barking on my walks so I think it was pretty good! BOL! It was a pretty good day.
September 6th 2012 10:01 pm
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First off, I want to introduce everyone to my new pal Milo. He are a little westie puppy and he are just too cute. I think he is making momma want to get me a little sibling or something. Dat are how cute dis dude is! So check him out!
Anyways, today it were Finley's daddy's birthday which means dere was yummy MEATZ to celebrate!
Today I barked my momma awake because Finley's momma was already up and cooking in da kitchen. And did my momma thank me??? She said no and dat I was being a brat. Can you believe it. I was just alerting her to da yummy smells emernating from da kitchen - smells like chocolate. It are not my fault dat her olifactamory senses do not work to wake her up when da delicious smells starts coming in.
Da day improved when my momma took me out to play da pool ball. Dat was a lot of fun and I played like crazy. It are good exercise too since it are too hot for walks since it are a hundred and million degrees or something.
Anyways, den were was da MEATZ called anticuchos. And dey were so tasty!! So it was a pretty fun day!
September 3rd 2012 3:06 am
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So pupses, I been havin' da bestest weekend evers! I's got to play pool ball for hours everyday. Except for my momma, she don't play non-stop like I wants. She takes time to swim around da pool and get outta da pool and lie there and read. She says she does da reading when I "need a break." I got news for you momma, I never needs a break. I think she are lazy and just wants a break. But I can't complain too much since it are a lot of playing.
And da food! OMD da food! On Saturmaday, Finley's momma overcooked some of da eggie weggies, making dem like hockey puckses. And da only person who likes hockey puck eggie weggies are Finley's daddy, da rest of da people's like da eggs all runny. So me and Finley each got an eggie weggie for breakfast. And on Sunnyday, she overcooked some pancakes so me and Finley each got some pancakes. Wonder what she'll overcook this morning, hope it are something yummy!
August 29th 2012 5:27 pm
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Yep, dat are me. Whitley da poor little wounded westie pup.
Me With My Bandage
And it were my BFF Finley dat did it to me!
It all started when my momma was gonna go put on her swimsuit. See, I know dat means I am gonna get to play da pool ball. And I can read my momma's mind and I know when she are gonna go swimming, even before she touches a bikini. So I was gettin' real excited and barkin' and jumpin' up and down and going all crazy and stuffs. Then momma came out in her swimsuit and Finley saw her and let out on of her high-pitched bark and twirl things. But as momma and Finley walked to da door, Finley went all crazy on me. She jumped on top of me and started a fight. My momma and Finley's momma pulled us apart, but when my momma touched me, she noticed her hand was all bloody. At first, Finley's momma thought that my momma was the one who had been bit (it was that bad) but then everybody realized it was me.
It hurts and I am still limping. And worstest of all, I didn't really get to play pool ball and I am not gonna get to go for a walk since I can't really walk. Dis are no fun!
August 8th 2012 11:20 pm
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Dat are what my momma are calling me! I just am loving getting to play all dis pool ball. It are about time! And I never gets enough. My momma makes me take breaks because I would never EVER voluntarily stop. It are just too much fun.
I are also having fun barkin at everything. Dere are lots to bark here in Plano. Things like da air and da wind and da sun and da clouds and da people who come into a room and da people who leave a room and Finley and cars going down da street and Finley when she has a toy in her mouth and Finley when she are scratching and peoples when dey fall asleep on da couch and my momma wakes dem up and my momma and da peoples when dey eats and well, all kinds of things. It are lotsa fun and I'm real happy to be back here.
Momma says I are crazy and like dis Plano place more dan anyone else in da world, but hey, my pool and my BFF are here, so what's not to like???
August 1st 2012 10:20 pm
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So me and momma and Charlie moved back home to Plano. And I am having so much fun! So far, I have gotten three straight days of pool ball! I can just play for hours and hours and hours, but momma makes me take breaks when she thinks I'm getting too tired! I never get too tired momma!
Anyways, momma are not having as much fun since she has been doing unpacking and stuffs. But you not what she hasn't unpacked yet??? MY TOYS!!! OMD, dis are just horrible. I mean, she unpacked her underwears today but not my dog toys. Da woman has no priororities! She better get to dem tomorrow!
July 19th 2012 10:16 am
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Last night my momma woke me up with all dis screaming stuff. She kept trying to make me go in da kitchen - I thought she must be gettin ready to groom me or something. But she kept talking about a rat. Wait a minute, a RAT??? You mean dat ugly cousin of squirrels??? OMD, OMD!!! Apparently, da rat had crawled out from unde the stove and she was freaking out big time. So she needed me in there to protect her from it or something. She tried moving the stove to make it come out, and well, y'all better prepare yourself for dis one and hide your mommas because they may get kinda scared out, this is SCARY information not made for sensitive momma types.
Ok?? Did you hide your mommas?? Good. Dat rat ran right across her bare food and underneath the dishwasher. I almost got it too, I snapped just a little too late. If we had a bigger kitchen, if I'd had room, that woulda been one dead rat.
So pups, I let my momma down. She don't know where da rat went, I sniffed and couldn't find it. She looked under everything with a flashlight and couldn't find it. My momma was not able to sleep hardly at all last night.
So dat is da tale of da rat dat got away.
P.S. Dogster are not letting me comment on my pals' diaries. It are frusterating!
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