Confessions of a Barkaholic

Da Weekly Advice Barkings

November 7th 2012 9:17 pm
[ View A Comments (11) ]

So in addition to it being my Gotcha Day, it are Wednesday which means it are time to bark some more advices to all my pals. Here's da firstest question.

Do you know what I'm like on these High Wind Days????????
I try to scare it away...I bark until, I have barkeritis....
They are threatening to buy a bark collar to use this winter.

WISE Whitley- How do I bark them out of this Idea??????
I don't think, it sounds like somethin' I wanna do...
Besides, Gma has always talked tome...from day 1...Now do they expect me to not have any commentaries??????????
signed,
Nervous Doxie of the Prairie

I love barking at wind too. It are fun and it needs to be barked at. Da bestest is sticking your head in da wind and barking like crazy. But I are confuseded. I never heards of a bark collar. Dat sounds like a collar dat would help you with da barking, maybe like dat goofy E-collar I had to wear. I basically used it as a megaphone. BOL BOL! But if it are a collar to make you not bark, dat do not sound good. And if your Gma talks to you, well dat are very unfair. Barking are just your way of talking back! It's like I tell my momma, I's got to bark a lot to be heard around here between you and Finley's momma ALWAYS talking it up! If dey insist on dis bark collar, I'd try hiding if they try to put it on you. Da best place to hide are under a piece of furniture where you barely fit and it are hard for dem to get you out. Dat's what I do when my momma are gonna strip me. Den you can bark from under dere, dat would show dem I think!

Now for my second question.

Whitley the Wise.

I have been told "growling" is not the proper "means of communication" when a "certain" human rolls over in bed in the middle of the night.

Is there any sort of "squatter's rights" I have to this property? After all "said" human abandons us daily for hours at a time. That has to add up "in dog years" for compensation and / or authority.

I's been edumacated at da Hahvahd School of Law and Barkings, or well, at least I has peed on da ground and fallen asleep on da law books. Which are basically what da law students do, besides stealing my dog treats to eats, which happened at a Halloween pawty. I think what you are describing are called adverse possession. Da requirements for adverse possession are dat your possession be actual, open and notorious, exclusive, continuous, and hostile for 7 years or minutes or something. And it sounds like you are meeting dat requirement. You is actually on da bed, it are obvious you is on da bed, only you is on da bed when da human abandons you, you is probably on da bed a lot of da day, and you is growling so dat are pretty hostile. So I think dat you own da bed and you is just being nice to let da human on it at all! Also, if growling are not da proper means of communication, well, let's just say my BFF Finley would have some problems, BOL! Growling are just fine, specially when your property are being invaded. In Texas, dey shoot people for dat.

 
Barked by: Angel Petey- In Loving Memory (Dogster Member)

November 8th 2012 at 3:08 am

as always great advice
Barked by: Duncan Fife (Dogster Member)

November 8th 2012 at 6:04 am

Great advice as always. I can speak from experience on the "Bark Collar" issue. Mum tried that on me. It was the one that makes the noise only we pups can hear if I started barking. It didn't bother me at all. I just continued my barking. She gave up.
The bed space issue information is very good to know. Apprciate your sharing your law knowledge with us.
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

November 8th 2012 at 6:43 am

Besides licking, barking and growling to make the peeps and critters around here know who is the boss and owner of all...so I am thinking that growlmy needs to read these asvice brks to get some good insight!
Woofs!...um...I mean, barkety-bsrk...GRRR!
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

November 8th 2012 at 6:44 am

Growlmy needs to learn how to spell, too, BOL!

That should be advice barks...and barkety-bark.
Another reason to Grrr!
Barked by: Wendy G

November 8th 2012 at 9:02 am

BOLBOLBOL :D OMD, Whitwey!! I smell a partnership hedin' yur way :D
Barked by: Abby - Forever Loved (Dogster Member)

November 8th 2012 at 11:04 am

Thanks for the awesome advise!
Barked by: ✨ Finley ✨ (Dogster Member)

November 8th 2012 at 5:35 pm

What's wrong with growlin'????????
Barked by: Lil Bear (Dogster Member)

November 9th 2012 at 12:07 pm

If I coulnant bark er growl, I'd jus' 'SPLODE!
Barked by: Misty (Psst on the right) (Dogster Member)

November 9th 2012 at 8:57 pm

BOL! Thanks for the legal advice. We have a gun range down the hill from us. I'll ask Mom to take me down for lessons with her bubble blowing gun.

Happy Gotcha day the other day as well.
Barked by: Pepper (Psst - on the left) (Dogster Member)

November 9th 2012 at 9:08 pm

Dear Whitley the Wise.

I don't have a Problem, my human has an Issue. I like to shove my hinney into the crack of the back of a certain overstuffed chair and the seat of it. Then I move my hinney back and forth for maximum top and bottom scratch coverage. I like it and can't help but moan my pleasure. This is usually how I get caught leaving lots of hair on the chair.

If it is called the "dog chair" are there not certain rights as said "dog" I have on the use of the chair? After all, I did not ring "house keeping" to come along and suck all the hair off the "dog chair".

Signed ~ Dog Chair ~
Barked by: together us 2 (Dogster Member)

November 10th 2012 at 4:28 am

Louie says:
wow...have you got a spy cam on us here, Witley? BOL!
yes..nina has started growling when shoved over in bed!!!!
and she is a nervous nellie when the wind blasts through and the leaves swirl everywhere!
now about that barking:
i went to petco and i started barking at a collie named mollie. i had a lot to tell her while we waited in the check out line. the petco lady said, 'i will stand here and stop that!' she stated with authority and she blocked my view! BOL! nothing wrong with barking! we were enjoying ourselves..it's the people who can't take my loud bark!
then..i went to the other petco (shopping for my winter coat) and did the same thing with a pomeranian. we were taking turns yap. yap. yap. yap. just like ping pong. it was deafening with the ecoustics!
everyone was laughing in the whole store!!
i don't know why some humans perceive barking as agressive? we were just conversing! it was a blast!!!

 

✨ Whitley ✨


 

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