June 21st 2010 10:03 am
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It has been 3 long months since you left us but it still feels like it was just yesterday. I miss you every second, and every minute of every waking day. You were more than just my dog, you were my best friend, my savior, you were my world. I miss waking up to you gently nudging my hand, and I miss falling asleep with you next to my bed. I still day dream about the day we took you to the river in Ft. Madison, where you bounded around in the snow, caught snow balls in your mouth, and barked at the guy who was trying to fix the Christmas lights in the park.
No matter how big you grew, you were always so very gentle. You knew when I needed comfort, and you were always there to give it to me. You knew when I felt unsafe and insecure, and you would stick your chest out like a macho dog, to make me feel safe again. You had a rough start to your life, and a rough ending, but i'm happy knowing that I gave you the best in between life you could ever have. I couldn't imagine how any human could treat such an amazing dog so horribly.
I never imagined having a dog for a best friend. But god couldn't have paired us at a more perfect time. You needed me, and I needed you...whether I knew it or not. I never wanted to imagine my life without out you, even from day one. But unfortunately every living thing has an end. I still feel your presence around me when I need you. So in the end...I never had to imagine my life without you, because I know, even though your physically not here...your still around me everyday and every night.
I love you my dear Loki, more than you know. And I miss you every single waking moment. It's been 3 months since you left this world...but I know deep down inside, you will always be there. R.I.P My sweet Savior.
March 16th 2010 5:41 pm
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March 15th 2010 will be a day that I will never forget. But January 8th 2009 will forever be engraved in my heart.
Saying goodbye is never easy, no matter who or what it is thats leaving us, it still hurts..sometimes the pain is tolerable and sometimes the pain sinks to the deepest part of our souls. In my 25 years of life, I have said goodbye to many. My first cat, a few fish, My own daughter, and a man or two. Each loss has changed my life one way or another, they've made me stubborn in the ways of love and trust. But saying goodbye to the one life that changed me the most, the one life that saved me...is a pain that will never fully go away.
January 8th 2009- This day, was the day my life would forever change, and I never even seen it coming. I knew I wanted another dog, but I didn't know I was getting an angel. I searched high and low for a dog needing a new forever home. One that wasn't fortunate to find a human to love them unconditionally. I stumbled across an ad on kijji.com for a Male Saint Bernard puppy 6 months old. I was leery at first. How could such a large dog be safe around my kids? Will he be ill mannered, will he get along with my other dog? Why was an AKC registered Saint only $250.00?
I didn't care. My heart said to jump right in....and I did.
Loki turned out to be more than just a dog. He was my guardian angel, my best friend, my life. I welcomed him into my home, and into my heart and the hearts of my children and the hearts of the few people who he allowed into his heart. Loki and I shared a lot of the same pain. We both had trust issues with people, primarily men. We both needed someone, something to show us that it was okay to love and trust again. Little did we know we were each others teacher.
Even though the lessons were short, we both learned an amazing amount about life, love, and trust. I knew when I laid my head down at night, I had nothing in the world to worry about. I would hear Loki making his night time rounds checking on all the children before he finally came into my room to go to sleep. He made sure to let strangers know his house, his owner and his kids were off limits, even certain people in my family were considered off limits, and treaded on thin ice when here. My Loki never left my side...He was always in the same room with me at all times. He was always there when I needed him, whether it was just for a simple hug, or a shoulder to cry on...My Loki was always there.
In January of this year, Loki had a slip and fall accident. It was wet and snowy outside, and he slid on the tiled floors as he came inside. It didn't look like a horrible fall, in fact he never even fell, just banged his leg off the rabbit cage. It wasn't until a few days later we noticed him slightly limping. We checked his paw and leg for any sores, cuts or abrasions, and when we found nothing...we figured it was from the slip and fall. I took him to a very well known Vet in Morning Sun, Loki was diagnosed with a simple but very painful sprain/strain, and was given an anti inflammatory medication, and I was told he would heal up in 6-8 weeks, and to give him plenty of bed rest.
When the anti inflammatory didn't work, and the swelling of his leg had gotten worse, I knew it was something else. I called the vet back in Morning Sun, and he had advised me to get testing done as soon as possible, "It might be bone cancer" he said. My heart dropped, because some where, some how...I already knew.
The night of March 14th was a very exhausting night. My poor boy was constantly up, not being able to find a comfortable place to sleep, and crying when he did finally find a place to rest. I remember waking up and seeing him at my bed side, watching me sleep. His eyes seemed to beg me for help. I wanted so bad to be selfish, to ignore his cries...pretend I was hearing and seeing things. The thought of having to life the rest of my life without him absolutely killed me inside. I don't want to live without him....I don't think I can.
March 15th 2010- I remember sitting on the couch watching Loki sleep in his usual place by the dining room table, listening to him whimper, moan and cry tore me into a million little pieces. My boyfriend and I laid with him, petting him, hugging him as much as we could. We both knew what was next...Loki loved us and took care of us. At 1:45pm Monday March 15th 2010, Loki went to Rainbow Bridge. I will never forget what he has done for me and my family, he will always be "My Savior".
He wasn't just a dog. He was an Angel.
December 20th 2009 6:17 pm
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So last night I thought I had some chicken breast in the freezer to feed the big guy, but it mysteriously went missing. The mystery was soon solved when I found out that the BF had eaten it for lunch the other day..uhg Men! So I broke down and fed him about 2 pounds of cooked nonseasoned beef shoulder roast, not something I will do everyday.
After his vomit bout on chicken, and how nasty it smelled, I was reluctant to refeed it him; can you blame me? Well he did pretty well after eating his roast, even had a spurt of energy about 20 minutes later.
Then this morning I was left a beautiful gift...splart! And the worse case I have ever experienced. It was very dark in color, with some texture to it, and it smelled to high heaven! I have quite the iron stomach, and have to raising 3 boys alone, and I can tell you I gagged the whole time I was cleaning it up. I know issues like this are common, and after talking to the lovely dogsters over in the raw forum, I have decided whole chicken, for 2 weeks is the way I am going to go. After all I would rather have him vomit, and eat it, then clean up poo!
Tonight, Loki is fine dining on his whole chicken, I am decreasing his intake from 4% to 3% during the 2 weeks of introduction. I am worried about weight loss since he is already under weight..but I can always bump up his intake after he adjusts. I will more than likely keep him on whole chicken until he can put some pounds on, that way if he eats a new protein that doesnt sit well with him. Once he gains weight, I think I will introduce beef, it's a bit more pricey, but it's red meat which is an important part of raw diet. I will also be bumping his intake up to 4% after the 2 weeks just to get the much needed weight back on his lil hips.
I know he is enjoying every last bit of being fed raw. He has always been pretty excitable around feeding time, but with raw its a whole new excitement for him, and it makes me feel like a very good and proud pup owner to satisfy and feed him something he enjoys to the fullest.
I will be praying, that I don't wake up to anymore poo in the morning, and I will also be praying that IF he does vomit, it's only bile...because last times chicken up chuck....even gagged my 5 year old son BOL!