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The Conquests of a Duppy Conquerer

TUBBERWERZ!!

Mom has been propping her work shoes on top of this tubberwerz in the bathroom next to the heating vent at night, but she leaves it there during the day.

allll day....

when she's not home....


and the tubberwerz is just siting there.........


calling to me, saying.........


EEEAAATTTTT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I haven't devoured it yet, but I bring it out when mom comes home, just to let her know that I know it's there and I'm being a good boy so far while she's at work. But one of these days.... that tubberwerz is gonna get it! I am on an eternal conquest to conquer all sizes, shapes, and colors of tubberwerz and this one is not going to be exempt from my reign of glory!

pimples and ponds

Mom started taking me to a new place and I am loving it! We walk every day now to this place near home and there's a pond, and we pass many people on the way who compliment me on my good looks and debonair ;) Sometimes we pass other people walking their dogs, and they all bark at me because I think they're jealous of my good looks. I just mind my own business though! I'm there on a mission to sniff and conquer the pond, one square inch at a time!

I can't wait 'till spring comes along so I can stamp my feet along the edge of the pond and scare all those evil fishes! I got a lot of pimples all over, and mom say's we have to go see the doc in a few days, so I'm not really looking forward to that. I don't like it when they poke and prode me like I'm a science experiment! That's what cats and gerbils are for!

Mom seems really excited though, for some reason. She seems to think she's figured out what "my problem has been all along". I don't think I have any problem, other than not getting enough ladies to fawn over me!

growndup

It's been a while since I barked around here! Mom took a bunch of pictures of me the other day, even though she knows I just want to eat the camera. But she says she can't believe how I look all grownind up now. She thinks all these new foods she gives me has some how contributed to me filling out. I'm trying to act like a big boy now, since I guess I'm supposed to be one. It's hard though, because Mom is gone an awful lot, and when she comes home she smells like Lucy and Kiro and ten thousand other doogies. At least now when she comes home she smells like clean shampooees and not a dirty kennel. Dad has been gone a lot and he told me that mom's gone a lot because she's supposed to take care of Lucy and Kiro for him. I know I'm supposed to be a big boy now but I'm still really jealous. I keep it under wraps for the most part, but every now and then I gotta remind Mom so I eat one of her tupperwares when she forgets and leaves them on the counter. Good thing I don't like apples and bannanas or they'd be in my belly too!

Oh I can't hold it against Mom too much though, because now when she's home with me we play all the time and snuggle, and she gives me all kinds of chewy meatses. She even got a whole second freezer just for this stuff she calls tripe. I don't know what it is, but I would do anything for it. It's so stinky and delicious I worship that big white box while she's gone. If I could just figure out how to open that freezer and get into the whole stash.....