Die Schnauzer-Zeiten

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It's Really Mom's Birthday Today, Not Ours

February 21st 2012 7:58 am
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When Mom set up this joint page for us, she just could not leave the birthdate box blank. Librarians are like that. It's all about filling in information. I guess it's supposed to be about correct information, but we won't go into that small fudge on the birth year, not on her birthday and all. She is getting older and prolly kinda forgetful anyway. She only underestimated her age by a few years. Shhhhh!

So thanks to efurrypup for sending along such nice pressies and greetings today. You are making Mom feel all warm and fuzzy, just like a schnauzer! BOL! And besides, when Mom is happy, she is more likely to dote on US, which is really what life boils down to.

Happy Birthday Mom!

 

No More School!

February 7th 2012 3:48 pm
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Mom said I don needa go back to the Zoom place. She said I can zoom jus fine at home, wich is pawfectly true. I do it evfurry day anyway. Today I did my potty right away when Mom said to do it an I got a treat! See? Who needs school?

There was a little bitta snow outside this mornin when we furst went outside. What's up wif that? It's not like it's winter or nuthin.

Lexie said it IS winter. I know it's not cuz winter is cold. Today was a little cold, but it's not at all like I know winter is s'posed to be. Nachur is confusticated.

 

Vet!

December 9th 2011 1:23 pm
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Lexie: I was a little miffed when Mom left with Buddy this morning and wouldn't let me come. She said I wouldn't like where they were going. Turns out they were going to the vet to have Buddy's nails trimmed. Yeah, I don't need to get in on that action. I just let Mom trim my nails. I save her time and money. I'm good like that.

Buddy: Well, I was all 'cited to go on a secret mission wif Mom, so I din care or din hear or din listen - whatevfur! - to where Mom said we was goin'. I jus heard her say "Come!" and I did! And do you know where we went?

Lexie: I just told them where you went.

Buddy: We went to the vet! Phooey! And I peed outside but Mom still picked me up like a baby dog when we got inside. Then she tol evfurrybody that she would hold me cuz I would pee on stuff if she din hold me! How hoomiliatin'! Geez, if I couldda jus gotten down on the floor an sniffed 'round. It smelled like there was a lot of stuff to read down there. I could have at least marked a little bit to let pups know I was there . . .

Lexie: That's why you don't get to get down . . .

Buddy: But then this guy came out an talked all nice to me an said I was cute, which I know I am, an he took me in the back room an then a lady an him held me an the lady clipped off all my toenails!

Lexie: And I heard Mom asked how you did and they said you did just fine. Mom couldn't believe it, knowing how you act like the world is ending every time she tries to trim just one of your pathetic talons here at home.

Buddy: An then Mom hadda give those peoples some monies an then they laughed at my leash cuz it says somethin' 'bout one-a us not havin' any balls an' I know that hasta be Mom cuz I have balls at home.

Lexie: And then Mom came home and said I was next. I'm like, "What?! I always let you trim my nails!" She said I had to get some things that were overdue, like my distemper shot, an internal parasite screening (thank the dog they don't go inside you to do that - they just look at your poo) and something else about making sure my heartworm meds are doing their job. Dr. J did my exam and said I need a dental. He told Mom to save up because there is an end-of-winter special every year in February on those. Sigh.

Buddy: You get to get a dental? Why don I get a dental? I want one too! Are they tasty?

Lexie: You can have mine. You deserve it.

Buddy: That is really nice-a you, Lexie. You are jus full of the spirit of the seasoning!

 

Talking About Fall

September 30th 2011 11:54 am
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Lexie: Rudy just reminded me that Buddy and I have this page together. I always forget about it because I'm so busy writing in my own diary. Plus I don't like to spend a lot of time near Buddy.

Buddy: Hunh?

Lexie: But since it is officially autumn and Mom went through the effort of pupdating our joint profile, and because Rudy reminded me, I figured maybe we could both say a few words about Fall.

Buddy: I like Fall. I wish the squirrels would do it more often.

Lexie: I was talking about the season, not the verb.

Buddy: I would season 'em if they fell. Mom does that to meat an it allus tastes really good. I know cuz once summa it fell on the floor.

Lexie: Buddy, I wasn't talki---

Buddy: Oh, and that's another good thing to Fall! Meatz™!

Lexie: Buddy! I am talking about Autumn! AU-TUMN!

Buddy: Oh, you mean what you say after the meatz falls an you eat it? Ahhhh, tum tum tum. Nothing like a tum fulla meatz!

Lexie: Like a fall squirrel, I'd bury a nut right now if I could only lure him into a hole!

 

Talking About Fall

September 30th 2011 11:53 am
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Lexie: Rudy just reminded me that Buddy and I have this page together. I always forget about it because I'm so busy writing in my own diary. Plus I don't like to spend a lot of time near Buddy.

Buddy: Hunh?

Lexie: But since it is officially autumn and Mom went through the effort of pupdating our joint profile, and because Rudy reminded me, I figured maybe we could both say a few words about Fall.

Buddy: I like Fall. I wish the squirrels would do it more often.

Lexie: I was talking about the season, not the verb.

Buddy: I would season 'em if they fell. Mom does that to meat an it allus tastes really good. I know cuz once summa it fell on the floor.

Lexie: Buddy, I wasn't talki---

Buddy: Oh, and that's another good thing to Fall! Meatztrade;!

Lexie: Buddy! I am talking about Autumn! AU-TUMN!

Buddy: Oh, you mean what you say after the meatz falls an you eat it? Ahhhh, tum tum tum. Nothing like a tum fulla meatz!

Lexie: Like a fall squirrel, I'd bury a nut right now if I could only lure him into a hole!

 

Long Time No Co-Bark

May 7th 2011 7:53 pm
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Buddy: We have not wrote anythin' in our diary together for a long time, Lexie!

Lexie: It's too much work. I prefer my own diary. This cooperation thing just wears me out, frankly.

B: My name is Buddy.

L: See what I mean? Arrrgh.

 

Buns, past tense

December 12th 2010 1:29 pm
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So Mom had a real Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. She was in Florida without us for the actual holiday and Oma was still in the rehab place for her broken hip. Now that Oma is healed up, we had her and Opa and Uncle over yesterday for turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. Oh, and there were rolls, too, that Mom forgot to put out. Eight sandwich-sized rolls. We figured that since Mom didn't put them out and no one ate them, that they were okay for us to eat.

Between the two of us, we ate all eight in no time flat. Mom was mad, but heck - she's had a long time to learn. Guess it was a kid who put the roll bag down too low. No matter; we're equal-opportunity thieves. Don't matter who made it possible.

We also got bits of turkey. Mom gave me (Lexie) the heart or the gizzard - not sure which it was, but it was delish.

Mom said she couldn't imagine eating 8 sandwich rolls in one sitting and she weighs tons more than we do, combined. Don't worry though, everything came out okay.

 

Acation!

September 24th 2010 2:46 pm
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Buddy: We are onna Staycation!

Lexie: It's Vacation. A Staycation is when you take it easy, but don't leave home. As you can tell, we have left home.

Buddy: But Mom keeps tellin' me to "Stay!"

Lexie: That's because she has to tell you to stay. You don't stay put, even when you are told to stay put. You don't even stay put when food is involved or there are dangerous vehicles whizzing by or when there is a strong fence in place around the yard put there specifically to keep you from straying!

Buddy: Oh. So a Vacation is when you don't stay, you vacate the house?

Lexie: Exactly. Va as in vamoose! Vamos! Ich gehe mit die Eltern! Je vais avec mes pawrents! It's included in all the most happening languages. Except for the German there. They just gehen instead of va-ing. But it's all the same. Go, go, go!

Buddy: That reminds me of something I hafta do . . .

Lexie: Mom! Quick! Get the leash!

. . . to be continued . . .

 

Buzzed and Beautiful

July 24th 2010 5:12 pm
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Lexie: Okay, we're gonna try to cooperate here on a diary entry, right Buddy?

Buddy: Right.

L: Because we both suffered equally today, right?

B: Right. Wait. Mebbe. I dunno.

L: Because we both suffered today. Mom got the table out and set it up on the patio and then brought out the canvas bag with the clippers, scissors, nail trimmers and all that other junk.

B: Yeah, and you were right when you said we were gonna get it. I got it first.

L: Lucky you. She did me first last time. This time I went second and the clippers were already hot by then!

B: Well, they were hot a'fore she was done on me anyway. And she held my beard so tight to get at my face and ears! I tried to bite her! I even jumped off the table near the beginnin' cuz Mom couldn't find that noosey thing to attach to the table.

L: I noticed that wasn't there this time. I wonder if one of the boys used it as a bow or an arrow?

B: Why would they do that?

L: They're young boys. Why do young boys do anything?

B: I do stuff cuz it tastes good or cuz it smells good or cuz it feels good.

L: Well, grooming didn't feel so good, but I do feel good now.

B: I feel okay, but I din feel okay when Mom was grabbin' at my beard and tryin' to trim my ears. She said nice things to me in that don-be-worried voice and I let her get away wif more trimmin' in there than usually I do. She kept sayin' how handsome I was gonna look for Gretta.

L: Mom said I was a good girl and that Zubee would be bowled over when he saw me. It worked because Mom got our ears looking pretty good this time. It's true what they say about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar.

B: Well of course that's true. Honey is really sticky.

L: Never mind.

 

Three Weeks to Spring!

February 27th 2010 10:56 am
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B: Lexie says there are only three weeks left of winter!

L: Well, that's speaking in a strictly technical sense. The weather rarely buys into these human constructs, Buddy, so don't be surprised if we have snow into late April or early May.

B: Hunh?

L: I mean the sun will reach the halfway point between it's farthest point and closest point on March 20th, but the weather will probably still be rather cold and icy, off and on, for weeks past the official start of Spring.

B: Hunh?

L: Okay. Spring arrives in a couple more months, got it?

B: Oh. Yay! Spring comes in a couple more months! How many years are in a month?

L: Hunh?

 
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