March 21st 2009 9:50 am
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OUR MOMMY FOUND THIS ON THE SAINT FRANCIS WEBSITE AND SAID IS EXACTLY HOW SHE FEELS EVERYTIME SHE HEARS THAT THEY HAVE LEFT THEIR PETS BEHIND...
When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes And a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How Could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.
My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, Stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and You resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided
my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.
When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.
As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.
January 29th 2009 5:56 pm
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Ok...so I have no idea what a nervous breakdown is....but she say she officially annouced it today! She say between my sister, Gidget, being sick from our house...did I mention we finally have confirmation dat we have MOLD!! I don't know what dat is but...it can't be good!! I know it make Gidget sick, mommy mad and sad all at da same time...and I don't like it!! Not one bit!! Mommy say da people are not even tryin to fix da problem!! Not dat dey can fix it...but GEEZ could dey at least try?? So now back to her breakdown...so our days start wif waking me up at 5:00 a.m. Can you believe it??? Who gets up dat early??? And its freakin cold...did I mention dat?? (sorry about saying da f word...I just so mad!!!) Because of da mold....we hafta keep it cold. Um...HELLO NAKED CHIHUAHUA HERE!!! I have very little hair...dat is a NOT a nice way to wake up I might add!! Den we drop Gidget off at da dogsters office so she can breath and not cough for a little while, den we drive to work, mommy work all day and now she has to bring me to work and all my stuff (being a princess and all...I have lots of stuff!!), den we pick up gidget, come home and mommy sits on da computer emailing attorneys, and dat stupid mean old owner of dis mold infested place we hafta live for right now and da stupid condo association, and looking for new homes, etc. all dat while listening to gidget cough, nonstop...which mommy say breaks her heart, den she start crying, den I try to hug her...but I just so little I can't get my paws around her neck, so I sit on her lap which she say....Daisy...you know I love ya...but you make it sooo hard to type!!" I just look at her like whateva!! Den we go to bed, wake up and start all over again. AND if dat's not enough....somebody ran into da back of our car tonight on da way home from work wif me in it!!! And he hit it hard enough to go under it and lift us in da air for a minute!! I was scared!! I was shaking!! Mommy was worried about me, she forgot about her!! GRRRRR! Now mommy's back , neck, and arms hurts now on top of all of dat other stuff goin on!! So I think she is entitled to dis nervous breakdown thingy of hers!! Oh diary...what are we to do?? Can we put a little mexican voodoo type curse on all dese meaners????
January 12th 2009 6:14 pm
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