return to top

Open up. Or I'll blast your door with my fart..

Knock Knock Knocking on Daddy's door

So then finally I decided to knock on Daddy's bedroom door from my hacienda. I mean geez the lazy brute's still asleep at 3:30AM! "Hey get up you! it's time for my daily massage!" So I started with a light tap at the glass and gradually improved to a kung fu slap. That woke him up.

When he opened the door I said "So....?". I think he got a bit pissed off and slammed the door shut. Well the second time was better when I head butt the door. Mum was with him and so I tried a different tactic. "Look guys I'm wagging me bum! I need some tlc here. Someone help me." Nah. Didn't work. Dad put me back to my kennel and turned on the fan so I could sleep better which actually did the trick.

Afternoon - gee we were in the park and the old goof Boomer the Fila x Mastiff was there terrorizing the passerbys. My Dad talked to his Mum on how to control his dominant nature coz he's been acting pretty tawy lately. My Dad went in front of him calmly and he started to growl. But then he looked at my Dad and he calmed down and started licking him. My Dad always got a good vibe around dogs. But when I went to say hi I guess I was a bit exuberant when I climbed at top of the old goof and he didn't like it. He was about to dismember me when - SNAP! - SNAP!

Dad tugged his collar and mine bigtime thus separating us and waking the old goof up from his hipnotic rage. Dad never let me near him again and I sort of agree. My head could easily fit in his mouth.

Anyway, fun fun fun...! The day was sunny and I saw a lot of dogs and people. Mum was a bit tired when she got home but she did played with us for a while. Another day in my hacienda.

The scary furry monster

So here I was watching the gray sky with my pet Lucy. I was thinking: "Is it going to rain again in my hacienda?". My Dad picked up the green thingys yesterday but I have stocks under my bed hehe. He came back home a little late (the lazy brute) and immediately took us for a walk. It was a bit cloudy and the wind keeps blowing but my Dad's got a weather antenna attached to his cap and he pretty much knows if its going to puor. So we descended very slow down the hill coz I wasn't planning to ruin the pedicure Dad gave me. My pet lucy was beside me and I was following Dad. And then suddenly this furry monster dog came after us from his ugly backyard. He's really ugly and he really startled me as he tries to get out. He kept shouting bad words at us but Dad remained calm and I just stayed close to him just in case the ugly furry monster gets out of his ugly backyard. I know he's gonna kick his ass if he even tries to get near. Anyway, on our way back from the lake (which wasn't that exciting since everything was wet. So I didn't do much training with my Dad coz I don't like sitting on wet ground - I mean who wants to right?) we met with my pet girlfriend Hannah the Beagle. Oh she can't help but pepper me with kisses when she sees me but I stayed cool and took it slow. Dad thought me to be a gentledog and I know he doesn't agree with me dating yet. Anyway, minutes later I saw Rocky my old pal. He's a beagle x staffie and boy did he got smaller. I mean he use to tower over me a few weeks ago. And now he's half my size. He must have developed some sort of chronic illness or mutation that caused him to shrink. I know that could happen coz I watched in this cartoon Dad lets me watch every afternoon. Poor guy. Just looking at him makes my heart ache. And the funny thing is, aside from the shrinking, everything seems NORMAL. Scary. O well, I'll end the diary here coz I have to eat. Dad's giving me the special today: dog food delight.

Rainy day

Feb 17 2009
O so it was raining all day here at my hacienda. The old tree at the front seems to be losing all its little greeny things and falls on my backyard. That's good coz I love chewing these little green things and leave some for Dad when he gets home.
O yeah so it was raining and I have to stay in our room inside the house with my pet Lucy. Did I mention that I have a pet named Lucy. She eats and runs and poops just like me its amazing. Although she's not really as smart as me and I have to keep reminding her that. Well, she thinks that she's smart when she locks me out by blocking the doggy door so she could chew my biscuit. Yeah, I guess she's kinda smart... I'll keep reminding her though...
Hey you know what, I have been really picking up on trainng my Dad on giving me treats. I have already trained him that if I sit or stand or drop on my belly, I get a tasty treat. How cool is that! He's really easy to train although sometimes he's a bit stubborn and I need to do a fair bit more before he gives me a slice of that hotdog. But hey, I always get it in the end which is what's important.
I have also trained my parents that every sunday and saturday, they should take me to this place where I can play with my other pets like Lucy. They all wanted to be my pets though some of them are bigger than me. But guess what... I'm smarter than all of them. O yeah.... Hmmnnn...
So yeah we didn't go down the lake today. Maybe I could go by myself next time. I know how to get there... No, I don't think Dad would like that. I don't want him to go looking for me and find me in the dumpster.