Likes: Concentrated Adenosine Tri Phosphate source - Food
Pet-Peeves: Not being able to play with neighbor kids
Favorite Toy: His little furball pal Lucy (Our other dog)
Favorite Food: Anything edible
Favorite Walk: Down the lake
Best Tricks: He sings along the A and G major scales when I play guitar, shakes hands, long distance recall and drop and his slow spin
Arrival Story: 9 months and minus 20 kgs later since me old dog passed away I was looking for a breed known for good temperament but could be a guard dog, lazy so would require minimal exercise, not destructive nor barks excessively and Voila! -- Bullmastiff.
So after hours of driving and an unintentional joy ride in the forest(we got a bit lost), we were driving home with the biggest puppy I've ever seen in my life bombing our car with bursts of farts every 5 minutes. Oh boy.
Bio: He came from a line of show dogs. His dad was probably the friendliest and largest dog I've ever seen. A fawn coloured BM with a chest larger than mine. Mateo got his size and demeanor from him. The mother is a brindle bitch and as friendly as the Dad. That's probably where he got his colour. Mateo was one of the most laid back pup in his litter. He was the first puppy who came to us and licked my rubber shoes until it's soaked in slobber.
Dad I think I swallowed Lucy. I had this dream of a dressed roasted chicken lying beside me and had the sudden urge to swallow it whole. Hope she's awright.
Yeah? what do you mean I chewed up Mum's sandals? Which one are you talking about? I got stockpiles of footwear at the back 3 inches undreground. Be specific please.
Whew! It's been a while since I wrote me diary. I'm now 15 months old can you believe it!?! Well, last monday me and my pack went to a dog christmas party. I was dressed as a reindeer and Lucy was a little santa. We were the biggest and smallest dog in the party. We joined in with the parlor games and I especially liked the one where Lucy was supposed to go around a pole but she just spent the whole time staring at Dad with those inoccent eyes. To say the least, they didn't get any points for that event but Dad was still happy coz Lucy did try but she was sooo enticed with all the dogs around her.
I on the otherhand was sitting with me Mum and some women who couldn't take their hands off me. They literally pat me for hours and hours. When one leaves another one comes to take her place. I actually liked being pat but there was this lady there who was hugging and kissing me and she didn't mind me slobber for which I find bizzare. After the dog events we ate cookies and Mum and Dad took us to get pictures with Santa. I was last to go (by Santa's request) but I didn't go to Santa's lap coz I've overeard that he just went to his "Chiroprator" and I heard something about "injury". But I did try to jump up anyway which caused a lot of giggles in the crowd. ;) After all, every pup gets a equal attention.
After all that, Mum and Dad hang out while we clean up the place from fallen dog treats and there are LOTS! Dad got a gift - a baseball cap with embroidered Bullmastiff as logo which he adored. Mum got a bag of toys and treats (I hope she shares it with us). And everyone was wolfing away with the food. Dad brought some bread rolls and chicken and they all love it. What I've noticed though which I find mind-buggling is that all the dogs got smaller from last year. They all look like pups now... The world is shrinking!
I heard too that we're going camping next easter with some of the dogs up in the mountains. Wow! that'll be fun.
So then finally I decided to knock on Daddy's bedroom door from my hacienda. I mean geez the lazy brute's still asleep at 3:30AM! "Hey get up you! it's time for my daily massage!" So I started with a light tap at the glass and gradually improved to a kung fu slap. That woke him up.
When he opened the door I said "So....?". I think he got a bit pissed off and slammed the door shut. Well the second time was better when I head butt the door. Mum was with him and so I tried a different tactic. "Look guys I'm wagging me bum! I need some tlc here. Someone help me." Nah. Didn't work. Dad put me back to my kennel and turned on the fan so I could sleep better which actually did the trick.
Afternoon - gee we were in the park and the old goof Boomer the Fila x Mastiff was there terrorizing the passerbys. My Dad talked to his Mum on how to control his dominant nature coz he's been acting pretty tawy lately. My Dad went in front of him calmly and he started to growl. But then he looked at my Dad and he calmed down and started licking him. My Dad always got a good vibe around dogs. But when I went to say hi I guess I was a bit exuberant when I climbed at top of the old goof and he didn't like it. He was about to dismember me when - SNAP! - SNAP!
Dad tugged his collar and mine bigtime thus separating us and waking the old goof up from his hipnotic rage. Dad never let me near him again and I sort of agree. My head could easily fit in his mouth.
Anyway, fun fun fun...! The day was sunny and I saw a lot of dogs and people. Mum was a bit tired when she got home but she did played with us for a while. Another day in my hacienda.
So here I was watching the gray sky with my pet Lucy. I was thinking: "Is it going to rain again in my hacienda?". My Dad picked up the green thingys yesterday but I have stocks under my bed hehe. He came back home a little late (the lazy brute) and immediately took us for a walk. It was a bit cloudy and the wind keeps blowing but my Dad's got a weather antenna attached to his cap and he pretty much knows if its going to puor. So we descended very slow down the hill coz I wasn't planning to ruin the pedicure Dad gave me. My pet lucy was beside me and I was following Dad. And then suddenly this furry monster dog came after us from his ugly backyard. He's really ugly and he really startled me as he tries to get out. He kept shouting bad words at us but Dad remained calm and I just stayed close to him just in case the ugly furry monster gets out of his ugly backyard. I know he's gonna kick his ass if he even tries to get near. Anyway, on our way back from the lake (which wasn't that exciting since everything was wet. So I didn't do much training with my Dad coz I don't like sitting on wet ground - I mean who wants to right?) we met with my pet girlfriend Hannah the Beagle. Oh she can't help but pepper me with kisses when she sees me but I stayed cool and took it slow. Dad thought me to be a gentledog and I know he doesn't agree with me dating yet. Anyway, minutes later I saw Rocky my old pal. He's a beagle x staffie and boy did he got smaller. I mean he use to tower over me a few weeks ago. And now he's half my size. He must have developed some sort of chronic illness or mutation that caused him to shrink. I know that could happen coz I watched in this cartoon Dad lets me watch every afternoon. Poor guy. Just looking at him makes my heart ache. And the funny thing is, aside from the shrinking, everything seems NORMAL. Scary. O well, I'll end the diary here coz I have to eat. Dad's giving me the special today: dog food delight.