Dogster

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Through the eyes of a 1 foot self running vacuum

I am as normal as any abnormal dog

So the other day my human companion says to me that I have changed alot in my behavior since I started on this period thing. Personally I don't think I have changed at all, except that I have this urge to always lick my rear end 23 hours a day 7 days a week. Well he's been a bit stressed out over me since I also started limping the 3 weeks ago and the xrays said I had something wrong with my joint problem. So I wanted to show the old guy that I was ok and that things were normal.

So the other night after he gave me dinner and all, he decided to watch TV. He's been keeping me on this diaper thing for almost 3 weeks so that I don't drip all over the apartment. I really don't see the problem with that, but hey, he's paying the rent. So while he was watching tv, I decide to sit next to him and turn around assuming the position. He looks at me in a wierd way and kurplunk, I started to drop the kids off. He looked quite angry as he said "NNNNNNo pooping on the carpet!!!!!!!!!." I didn't understand the problem, but at least he said, "At least you are back to your old self again".

I Pee you Pee, we all Pee because he's sleepy

I found out the hard way from my companion that peeing anywhere is not a good thing. I don't think he was very happy the other day when I was trying to wake him up from his slumber. What does he think??? Sleeping doesn't come before peeing. So, as sly as I was I tried to run back and forth in front of him so he wouldn't notice. Well after careful analyzation that he wouldn't wake up, I finally realized it was time to do my duty.

But I didn't go on the pee sheet. Instead I decided to get away with something else. Peeing on the Carpet!!!! I mean what can I say, it feels soft and looks like it would absorb the liquad. So I started to crouch down in my usual #1 position and released. However my companion had an evil eye on me and I was only able to let off about 50%of the load before he came running at me shouting....Nnnnnnoooooooooo. He picked me up and took me too the bathroom angrily.

Yep, I have come to the conclusion that peeing on carpet should not be done .................................until he is fully asleep. Until the next time, I will keep my tail up and my nose down to look for the next best pee spot.

It`s an unfriendly world out there for a friendly dog like- me..

Last night while I was playing around the dog park, well actually a parking lot but it with grass, a red 4 legged animal came along and stopped in a stall. I was so excited since I think these 4 legged animals, or what my human slave calls cars, are so exciting. Everytime I get to ride it, we end up going to a big dog park. So I love these `cears`, is that how you say it?

Anyways, I started to jump all over it and my companion got angry at me saying I would scratch the `peayant`. Whatever that is? So I decided to do what I always do when I meet a dog, sniff its rear end. Well I proceeded to walk around it and then went to the back and sniffed its rear end. No smell there but , what my slave calls, `peyant`. Well I wasn`t going to leave this place cause I am going to get in this animal.

Well, until another dog walks along. My companion was out of sight so I decided to trot along to the dog to sniff its behind. But for some reason the other dogs human companion picked the dog up and started walking away. I heard my companion`s voice calling me but I was determined to sniff this dog up. Well my companion finally caught up to me and then the other human started yelling saying, `lkje kdjfa eiroeu adkljf eiuorw kldafku weoiuroe`. I didn`t understand what that meant, and neither did my human companion. But I think he was angry.

So my companion said lets go, but I was like, `no way`. I want to sniff that dog. And then my companion caught me again and picked me up this time and said, `see there are unfriendly humans and dogs out there, you gotta be careful`. And then the other human yelled back saying, `lkwjelkfj dkjf '(&(""#" #(#)'$)# #!=#((%(""`. So I was as confused as was my human. But he said, don`t worry, he`s an old man and they tend to get angry at the world.

I didn`t know what was going on, but luckily my human found out from another human at the park saying that the man said I should be on a leash. Whatevers, I`m off to find me another dogs butt.