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Here comes trouble...

Haven't written in here for awhile

We decided to try and stay away from here for awhile since it always seemed like bad news. There is still bad news but some fun things too. Of course I am in the D0gel contest again. Oh that is so fun!! I love it and it is so good for Mom. It gives her something to look forward to. She really needs that. He life consists of going to Doctor's and medications. It is very depressing. At least if there was light at the end of the tunnel it would help so much but there isn't. No cure...as a matter of fact things are getting much worse. All her organs are falling apart along with her spine. So we are trying to enjoy life as much as we can. Mom see's the boys when ever she can and she lost her favorite show that was the longest running show on television but she has started watching some others and is in the process of trying to find a replacement. Nothing will ever replace Guiding Light but she needs something to help keep her mind off of her health. Malty, Zoey, Bailey and I are her world. She loves us so much and she enjoys every minute with us. She only leaves us to go to Doctor's , Jennifer's house, and her in laws so we have her a lot now. It is nice for all of us. Mom's dogster account will be up in December. Since our finances are in shambles and Mom has no idea how long she will be here she had decided to not renew it but it was breaking her heart to think she wouldn't have it anymore so we will find a way. Mom needs dogster!! It helps her so incredibly much!!

We are looking forward to the holidays and hope Mom will be alright!!

Much Love!!!

The bright side...

So Mom has renal failure and it has been pretty steady staying at about 3. Things are changing and it is almost in the 4 stage. The numbers are much lower now and almost in stage 4. She has felt terrible and so weak, and passed out several times. It looks like dialysis will be in the near future. How can one person be so ill?

The bright side... she has us...... :)

Love

Mom loves us so much. She is very afraid. Today was not a good day. She hasn't felt very well and today she passed out cold. She was alone and woke up and thinks she was out for about 8 minutes but we aren't sure. I was licking her and Mom thinks I may have saved her. She hasn't told anyone yet because tomorrow is Jennifer's Birthday and she doesn't want it ruined but now she is very afraid.

Mom loves us so much and she keeps telling us she is very afraid of leaving us. I don't think we will do very good if she does. I know we will miss her so much.

She started all the new drugs and she isn't feeling very well. She has been on 3 of them before but this new one is not good at all and Mom made the mistake of reading about it and the side effects are worse than the others which is pretty bad. Why did Mom have to get so sick in the first place? She asks herself that everyday and honestly no one really understands how terrible this is.

She is pretty sure her time is up very soon. She says she feels it and doesn't want to leave us but she may not be able to help it.

I have been more loving than usual and I think that is really helping Mom. Malty and Bailey are always loving but us girls aren't as much but I was the one who was licking her face and afterward I stayed with her and was very loving.

This is hard. Being sick affects everything. Mom is very tired and everyone says she looks bad and so thin. She is shaking now so we are going to bed. If anyone reads this you don't have to comment. So many of our diaries have been sad but Mom needs this place. She needs to talk to someone and I let her use my diary. Mom would rather not go back to the hospital if it is her time. She has decided she wants to be at home with us. We make her happy and she hates to be there. Mom loves us so much!!! She really does!!!

We have made wonderful friends here on dogster. I hope they know how much they have meant to us and to Mom. We are so grateful!!!