The Dog In The Yard

I looked! Then saw her
Running real hard!
I looked! And saw her!
This dog in the yard!
She came! From Florida
With her two human beings.
She came! From Florida
For all our seeings.

But what’s this?
Away she runs.
Oh no, not yet,
Again she comes…
With something in her jaw.
So, I ran right over
To see in her paw.

Is it a bone? A munchy? Or treat?
Is it something savory?
Something good to eat?
Here! Let me sniff.
Ah yes, let’s see
Perhaps it is something to share
‘Tween you and me?

Why no! It is only a stick.
A stick made of wood.
This must be a trick.
Why eat twig or bark?
A silly old stick!

There’s plenty good,
Don’t you understand?
Just bark or whine,
Humans are at your command.

There’s bones, munchies, and treats.
A lot of it’s savory and scrumptious.
Feasts in cans! Oh how sumptuous.

But a stick?
A piece of wood?
Oh dog, I didn’t think you ever could
Disappointment me so.
Oh yes, dog in the yard,
We both know—you must go.

—Apologies to Dr. Seuss

Fear and Loathing in Pug Vegas

Papaw had given me $100 in cash, most of which was already spent on extremely tasty treats. The trunk of the car looked like a mobile pet store. I had two bags of Canidae, seventy-five Peanut Butter Buddies, five sheets of Beggin’ Strips, a tin half full of Yip-yaps, and a whole galaxy of pig ears, bully sticks, moo tubes and several pinches of Catnip for Marilyn. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious treat-collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

The only thing that really worried me was the Catnip. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a cat in the depths of a ‘Nip binge. And I knew once we’d get home, she’d be all into that rotten stuff.

That’s the way it goes when you’re on the road like I’ve been the past couple of weeks. So many houses, so many carpets, so many yards that need marked, and let’s not even talk about the butts that needed sniffing.

When we haven’t been on the road, dogs and their humans have been over here. The humans pet me and coo and give out a butt scratch or two while assuring me they’re not after my stash.

You can never be sure, I say. Better safe than sorry.

That’s part of the reason I got the ‘Nip. Don’t have to worry about the cat’s beady little eyes, eyes that are always moving, if she’s got the ‘Nip. She hasn’t grabbed a bone or a munchy stick yet, but I think she’s just trying to lull me into a false sense of security.

That’s why I take the stash on the road with me.

--Apologies to Hunter S. Thompson

Rockstar Fabulous Look-a-like Contest!

So anyways, i wanted ta play wif the other Rockstar Puggies so i gotz ta thinkin "who does I look like?" well, dis is waht I think!!
Bob Hoskins, cause he can be real huggable and silly but he can also be one bad dude when he wants to, just like me!!

I was Thanksgiving tagged!

Well, the game continues...first Puggie Capugone tagged me then i tagged Paris Hilton, then Bud the Bad tagged me...so...here be 7 things i'm thankful for:

1. I hate to go outside to potty in winter if there's snow on the ground, so my Daddy will dig me a little path and a circle for me to...ahem...you know!

2. I love to spoon on the couch with Mama or Daddy and I know that sometimes even though they gotta go do somethin else, they'll just stay there not to disturb me!

3. When i was a puppy a neighbor's kitty scratched me on the eyeball and ever since then, like 6 years Mama and Daddy put eyedrops in my left eye to keep me from goin blind, and i really appreciate that.

4. I'm thankful that I have a fenced in yard and a house now cause for most of my life i was an apartment dog, and now i get to run around more.

5. I'm thankful that we spend our time in a town like Bloomington, In. where people are friendly and they love animals cause that means there are lots of places Mama and Daddy can take me with them. And i love to go in the car, LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!

6. I'm so thankful that Mama will scratch my butt for me whenever i want even if she's tired or cranky cause i can't really even see my own butt!!

7. I am even thankful for the mean ole Kitty...cause sometimes we'll play and chase each other around the house and when i'm home during the day she makes a good snuggle buddy! (don't tell anyone)

okay there ya go...happy early thanksgiving!!

I gotz tagged!!

I gotz tagged by da King of all da Puggz!, Puggie Capugone!
So, here goes!...

1.
I is totally a daddy's boy!
If he is gone i getz really depressed and Mama is okay but she is not muh Daddy!

2.
People still sneak me food!! Like my Papaw, and muh Uncle Kevin. It is because i have super beggin powers. I can make my face turn into a puppy face, at will!

3.
I hop on da crazy train after every bath!! I start runnin around like a crazy puggy and I feel that the towel that dey used ta dry me off wif must be destroyed for its insolence, so da mama and daddy will play bullfighter with me and i go crazy growlin and barkin and runnin just so i can get at that towel...(that was kinda embarrassing)

4.
This can never be told to anypuggy, ok?? But sometimes when da mama and da daddy come home...now this IS embarrassing...but anyways...they find me snuggling up wif my kitty sister Marylin. She is very soft...

5.
I used to weigh 36 pounds before i had ta go on my diet...I get 1/4 cup of Canidae Platinum 3 times daily with 2 baby carrots chopped up with each serving...but now i weigh 29 lbs!!

6.
da mama says she wants to get me a pugger bro or sis next year from sumfin called a rescue, but i don't know what dat means? i am not sure dat i would like another pugger man around da house all da time, and neither does mama and daddy so dey haven't decided yet...

7.
When it comes to gettin muh nails trimmed, I WILL not tolerate it. It has gotten so bad dat i have started bitin da mama, not hard but still...dey still do it and i cry and scream like a person...mama says it very traumatic, whatever that means...and they tried takin me to places where dey do that fur dere jobs, and no where will do it, cause they say i am too hard ta handle so i guess i am a puggie capugone , one bad dude!!

ok, now i gotz ta tag puggies too i guess! So, here goes!!

1. Paris Hilton da Princess Pug
2. Harley the Grampy pug
3. Zuess
4. Maxwell
5. Hercules Lt. Peemeister
6. Tug Da Pug
7. Prince Johnny Rebel

First Timer

well, here i am all set up on dogster man pug people are just the nicest people. momma's already made some new friends and i made some too. course momma's not had inter-web for a long time so i gots to whip her into shape soon cause i'm a pug with a lot to say. there's a big world in here and i wanna see as much as i can. more later,

killer the dill