return to top

My Guardian Angel

I love this poem : )

I'M STILL HERE
I stood beside your bed last night,
I came to have a peek.
I could see that you were crying,
You found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly,
As you brushed away a tear.
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times
Your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today
Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today,
You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you
That I'm not lying there.

I walked with you toward the house,
As you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said "It's me."

You looked so very tired
And sank into a chair
I tried so hard to let you know
That I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be
So near you every day.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away".

You sat there very quietly,
Then you smiled, I think you knew.
In the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.

The day is over...
I smile and watch you yawning,
And say "Good night, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning".

And when the time is right
For you to cross the brief divide.
I'll rush across to greet you,
And we'll stand side by side.

I have so many things to show you,
There is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out,
And then come home to be with me.

Without you...

It feels like it was just yesterday since I lost you, but also it feels like a very long time in other ways. I know you knew how much I love you and nothing will ever replace your spot in my heart. I keep thinking back when I first got you and you were such a tiny sweet puppy. I wish it was back to that time so I would have years to spend with you again.

I've felt so guilty by getting Cookie, I would still be grieving if it wasn't for her though. I love her, but I don't want you to feel so easily replaced. You will never be forgotten no matter how many dogs I own. I've also felt guilty by not playing with you enough through my teen years. I was more worried about stupid teenage stuff than giving you the attention you needed. I can't change the past, but I vowed to never do that to another pet. I realize little things in your life will pass that you're worried about now and will come back if you can't get it fixed the first time, but once a pet is gone you can't get any of the time back.

I know you understand why things happened. I told you before we went to the Vet that if it was bad I wasn't going to let you suffer and just be put on pain meds. I know the night before and the night after were one of the roughest nights in my life. I had to keep telling myself I know you're in a better place where you'll see Rocky. I hope you and him are having fun together.

Daddy saw a rainbow the same day you passed. One end was in the sky and the other was coming down over the area where Dr. Taylor's office was. Even though I didn't get to see it, it really made me so happy to hear. It was just a lovely reminder that you really were going across the rainbow bridge. I miss so many things about you, but I know you are somewhere where nothing bad will ever happen to you again and you will never feel pain again... not even a tummy ache:) I can't wait to see you, sweetheart. I hope you'll give me your paw again.

I LOVE YOU,
Mommy