Two are better than one; for if one falls, the other can- pick him up

Rowdy's mama here. I know you all feel as I do, that the Dogster/Catster community is just plain AWESOME. We have met some of the best hoomans in the world here. Little did I know that when I joined (and then Meatball & Sausage bought us "Plus") that I would need you all as I have and you have answered the call for help in so many generous ways. I am grateful that I can come here and share my sorrows and joys and also share in yours. I wish I didn't need you all so much so I could be more of a giver, but things keep cropping up and I have become overwhelmed. I needed this place when I first found you because I had lost my beloved "children" (Max -Trixie's brofur went missing in Sept '06, then the fire in Feb '07 and I lost Trixie, Daisy and Chance). Max and Trixie were fursibs kitties whose mommy Tabitha I had lost also. Daisy and Chance where mommy & son--I lost Chance's daddy --Shadow-- about 3 years earlier while walking in a wooded area to a cougar or something. We had been walking there for 4 years and never had seen or heard any wild animals. I have read where so many of you have lost babies and the sting of guilt haunts you--I know that guilt--and just when I thought I had learned from all my mistakes--along came Rowdy. Lack of knowledge and money kept me trying to heal Rowdy's back in the least expensive way and I have paid the price. While the operation would have cost the same no matter what, now I must hear Rowdy drag his little back paws across the floor, his toe nails little nubs. I watch him run and see his back legs go out from under him and he slids on his hinney--but he always gets back up and runs again. His relentless spirit inspires me, but the guilt of not getting him the surgery sooner haunts me. I do hold in my heart that he is not completely crippled and am grateful for that because so many other pups have lost so much from this kind of injury. Their triumphant stories and their hoomans always makes me smile. And I know Rowdy's story had brought a smile or two also, because he can run--wobbly as it is--while he is running to the right, his hinney will go to the left, and it is funny to watch--however bittersweet--but he is running and running hard. He is as happy as he has ever been despite it all. Abandoned at birth, malnutritioned to the point he had a skin infection and lost all his hair, yet when I met him he bounced (literally) and barked and played like the world had welcomed him with open arms. He came into our home like he had always lived here. The world was his, and he claimed it and he still does. I have never had a furbaby who wasn't amazing in some way and Rowdy's spirit is amazing to me--I wish I were more like him.
Now I am to go for a biopsy to check for cancer in my right breast. I have already had surgery for cancer in the left breast and while everything turned out okay the first time, I do not relish going thru it again. I didn't have kemo the first time, and will be so grateful, should it be cancer, that I will not have to go thru kemo this time-that is my biggest worry--the surgery and the radiation is not so hard to bare--the not knowing is worse. I should know by Thurs if it is.
What amazes me, is how many of you are now going thru the same trial at different stages of the situation. I pray for you for strength. I have heard and felt your prayers for us and there is no doubt in my mind that we all have a bond--even if we have never spoke. If you are a part of the D/C family, then we are family indeed.
I'm hoping that in heaven, we will have a really cool club house where we can all meet, when we're not out oooohing and awwwwing at the wonders of heaven and heavenly things, and hug and show off our babies to one another and laugh and look into the eyes of those who have prayed for us, directly and indirectly.
Other things have come into my life as stressors now too and I am overwhelmed. I find it hard to have the energy to thank each person for the pressie or prayer, but know that I am now forever touched by your love and thoughtfulness--and I know many of you also breath a silent prayer, thou' you do not contact me--I know because so many times that is what I do. It isn't easy to write when you have lost a baby because it brings to mind all the pain of my own loses, as I am sure it does for all of us--all of us have lost, all of us have made mistakes, all of us have felt guilt and all of us labor daily to get thu' the rough patches. How so so many of you have inspired me and made me jealous, because, like Rowdy, you still keep bouncin with joy.
Thank you all for being you and being here for me in big and small ways, it all counts.
If you are going thru' a trial and need just a ear to hear, pmail me. I won't know how to fix it, but I can understand and most likely say "I know, I've been there too. You are not alone."
I love you all with all my heart,
Mama Kim & the Rowdy Gang

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