Public Humilation at it's finest

Charlie wags his butt the entire time he walks. I know this now because this is the view I get when we go out together for a walk. I don't get to walk anymore. Mama puts me in this square thing with wheels. She puts a pillow in it and scolds me every time I pop out of it. So today her friend Shannon comes over and I love Shannon and I want to look good for Shannon but no...I cannot be my studly self. I have to go into the cart and be pulled. One of the neighbors laughed at me and called me "dog in a box". Grrrrrr.

I'm very brave except when Mama gets more then 2 feet away from me...then I feel a little shaky and try to pop out of the box. We tried to have Shannon roll me and Mama handle Charlie (because he's such a trouble maker compared to me) but I feel TERROR when she's away. Maybe because I know I must protect her. And by the way...I do not poop when I am out. He does because he thinks it's funny to make mama pick it up. He does it as far as he can away from the next big black box that momma can throw it into so that his scent wafts through the air. He finds this quite amusing. Mama walks sooo fast during that period of time and my little cart goes clackety clackety clack!

Houdini

So did I mention my confinement? To a playpen no less? I am a stud and they put me in a playpen because of my spinal injury from which I am healing like any super terrific chihuahuahuahua would. So the other day Mom left me like she does and you know what I did? I just ate right through the side. See I can do anything and she won't yell at me on account of I'm hurt. I wandered around the house, went down stairs, went up stairs - I did everything I wasn't supposed to. So here's what Ding Dong Mom does. She turns the playpen around so the hole is against the wall. DUH! I ate a hole in the other side - I am brilliant!!! So then she tried to SEW something over the hole - that was easy to get through - kinda like a doggy door - Betsy Ross she's not! And at this rate? She's no Florence Nightengale, either! Okay, I need to go make some more plans to outsmart her - AFTER she feeds me my dinner - yummy burgers and veggies and rice for me!

stinky stuff

Today when mom took me out for potty she decided it was a good time to weed the flower bed. Which was great because she left me alone to explore the front yard. She's been all over me since I got out of the hospital. A chi-man hardly has a moment to himself anymore, I tell ya. And then...I saw it. A lovely pile of fresh poo. It was love at first smell. I had just started to roll in this delectable pile of fragrant goo when I heard her scream ..."WIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNSTTTOOON". She HOSED ME OFF in the front yard. I have never been subjected to such indignity and dog abuse in my life. I hope someone sees this horrible injustice and reports this to the right authorities so she gets a ticket or something. But no....it doesn't stop here. Once she had removed the perfume that I had so carefully embedded in my fur she put me in the bathtub and made me smell like a flower. A FLOWER. And then I went back in the play pen. I can't even go in the back yard and find some mud to mess myself up in. Charlie is coming by and laughing at me and calling me "buttercup" behind Mom's back.

Yesterday? He grabbed my playpen with his enormous terrier teeth and started yanking my playpen across the floor. This is how much he wants to get my Baby Shrek. Mom stopped him. She will not leave him alone with me right now because of his Shrek fixation. It's a problem. He says I need meds? His is diagnosable...it's called O.C.D.!!! He'll fixate on something for MONTHS even if Mom puts it in the drawer!!! Move on my man...move on!!!

Okay....I'm going to go to bed now. Smelling like a rose...literally.

Don't leave ME behind!

So yesterday Charlie thinks that he is going to get to go on a walk all by himself. I cried so much that Mom put me in the carrier - ha HAAH. I have her number! All the neighbors always laugh at her carrying me around the block ANYWAYS, but now they really are going to when I'm in a carrier. You KNOW that Charlie really thought that stunk that I still got to go. I'm a big chihuahuahuahuahuahua so mom was really struggling after a while lugging me around but I telepathically told her that guilt would be a bigger burden if she didn't take me. After it became too much a neighbor insisted on helping her with me. I don't care, as long as no one drops me. I think she's going to buy me a special stroller. Or she could go to the gym once in a while - I mean hellOH - I'm not that heavy drama mama!

Another Day In The Playpen

Last Sunday I got a spinal injury and had to spend several days at the VCA animal hospital. Mom was really freaked out but I was more freaked out every time she left. I showed everyone there how a dog could scream. They kept saying how stoic I was until that happened.
They were worried that I might be paralyzed because of a freak accident that happened while I was wiggling around and rough-housing with my brother. Fortunately I've shown them all and I'm healing up rather nicely. I HATE THIS PLAYPLEN! I try to poop in it several times a day about 5 minutes after Mom takes me outside so she'll give up on it but I guess she's pretty dedicated because she keeps just cleaning it up and getting fresh bathmats and blankets for me. Today I did it in front of guests to be cute. I can do anything I want and not get yelled at because I'm hurt and Mom is babying me.