Good Morning Momma

G'Morning Momma..I wakes up and wants ta play wif you's now..
And see momma? I goes potty outside like a big girl and didn't makes a messy for you to clean up...Now can I hab me my good girl potty treats? Pullleeeeezzzz Mommy?
Mommy's getting her a cup of coffee...(she's mean..she won't gimme none) and then she's gonna take me and bubby out on the front porch so we can play and get some sunshine.....
Ohhh mommyyyyyyy...get the phone...I bet'cha that's daddy calling....I wanna say hi...can I talk to daddy Mommy? Huh can I? Puleeeeeeezzzzz! Oh Purdy Puleeeeeeezzz?
Oh boy...mommy put it on speaker phone...HI YA DADDY....I'm being a good girl....see? I gots me treats and everything....
But bubby's being a poop...he won't play wif me.
Your a poop Bubby!
Well, mommy says we have to go inside and take our nap now...Dang it and shoot a monkey anyhow..I hates naps.

Things Dogs Must Try To Remember

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in
the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up with my cold, wet nose on her bottom.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

New family

I was searched and searched for online by mommy. When she saw me she knew immediatley I was to go home to live with her and my now new family. You see...back in October of 2007, mommy lost her first fur baby Bridgette. She got sick and died and I know mommy's heart was real broke. I never got to meet my sister, but mommy has shown me lots of pictures and even let me watch her on the TV. Well, my brother Corkey was real sad that sissy Bridgette died and mommy said he stopped eating and everything. So, this is where I come into the picture. My purpose was to become Corkey's new sister and help him through his loss of his first sissy. It hasn't been easy and I still have a job ahead of me, but I see he's now started to eat, especially if he thinks I am going to steal his food ..LOL
I get him to play even when he doesn't feel like it, becasue I was the only girl born to a family of 4 boys and I am a tom boy at heart. so I sure know how to get my new brother in ahead lock and wrestle with him real good.
I love my new family and I I fit right in. I only hope one day soon, mommy sees the joy in having me in her life now and I can take away some of her pain from losing sissy Bridgette.
I'll just be sweet and loving and I know in time, mommy will be ok.