August 31st 2009 8:59 am
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Doggy Yoga is here!
Doggy Yoga Sweeps Nation
Get a Load of This, Say Canines Everywhere
August 28, 2009 -- USA -- “Doggy Yoga,” a practice in which humans include their dogs in “gentle stretching and massaging” sessions, is the latest craze to sweep the nation.
It's sparked intense debate in the canine community as well.
The practice — commonly referred to as “Doga,” uses canines to help humans discern whether they are relaxed enough.
LuLu and LoLLy have opinions about Doggy Yoga!“Apparently the doggies serve as ‘mirrors’ for the humans,” said LuLu Maltese. “My Human’s got so many wrinkles she probably would rather look at me instead of her own reflection.”
After participating in a local Doga class herself ...
LuLu’s sister LoLLy had a decidedly negative reaction to the phenomenon.
"Every time the human doga leader said ‘Downward dog,' LuLu and I hit the floor like we're supposed to -- but there was no biscuit for reward! It’s not like we fell off the treat truck yesterday — we know that there’s supposed to be a biscuit when you go down! And what made it even worse was that instead of giving us the biscuit all the humans bent over and tried to put their heads on the ground, and how can you give doggies the biscuit rewards if you are impersonating a human triangle? How, I ask you. HOW?”
At the Onion Creek Ranch, Maltese dog Rocky Sutherland, who has arguably perfected the "Doga Trance," tapped into the Doga craze with entrepreneurial zeal, posting this ad on Craig’s List:
Rocky in a yoga tranceTo live in harmony with all beings is the do-ga principle. Rocky Doga combines stretching with meditation. In mychewtoyananda, Rocky sits with his front paws in the air while the human partner provides support and a chew toy. In Upward Paw Pose, Rocky gets on his hind legs. In the spiritual “Resting Foot On Paw” pose, Rocky reclines with human’s foot pointed heavenward. Rocky is a certified Doga instructor Level 84503 or 2. Classes are free or two million dollars.
While Rocky insisted his advertisement was “not a scam to get more girlfriends, no matter what LoLLy Maltese says!," Jameson "Waterbed" Corgi and Reagan "Wee Rescue" Wee were more forthright about perceived "socializing with babes" opportunities.
Jameson loves the ladies!“Yoga is a wonderful place to meet eligible (flexible!) ladies!” Jameson said, panting happily. “Plus it is a nice change from constantly lifting big weights. At Doga there is always mood music playing and there are comfy mats for ‘posing’ all over the place! Let your readers know that if they need one-on-one coaching I will be more than happy to fit them into my busy schedule!”
Likewise, Reagan Wee barked, “Look at all the doggie chicks I could meet. Woo Hoo -- sign me up!"
Kerbey Wee may not have been the same since being dressed in a pig costumeRegan’s pack leader, Kerbey Wee (who, according to LuLu, "hasn't been the same since being dressed in a pig costume at last year's Dogtoberfest"), had a highly practical assessment of the canine yoga movement.
“From what I've seen, humans and dogs who practice meditation do so with their eyes closed," Kerbey said. "They are quiet and still for lengthy periods of time. I've always called that napping, but I'll call it by any name so long as I get to do it for most of the day.”
Taylor Wee, a featured singer in "Rescue Dog Rock!" and arguably the most rotund member of the Wee pack, was immediately terrified.
"But I'm afraid of heights!” Taylor barked when shown a picture of “some skinny human holding her doggie way above her head!”Taylor Wee in pig costume!
Fortunately, Wee pack member Winnie was able to reassure Taylor that, due to Taylor’s “ampleness,” Taylor should have "no fear of being hoisted up there.”
Sophy is helpful with Doga!In nearby Pflugerville, Sophy Woof, known for pushing the proverbial envelope, (See Sophy Takes Office Tips to New Level, July 1, 2009), reported that she "helped my mom doing yoga with her Wii" by "nudging and licking her mom's face when she was in some of those silly positions."
Despite perceiving that her mom "did not appreciate" her efforts, Sophy remained committed to the process.
"I suppose if humans need us to learn how to do these things we should help them. After all, isn't that part of why we let them adopt us?"
The Laptops!Across the country in Virginia, The Laptops, a Maltese three-pack led by Suzie Q. Sunshine (pictured here in their Easter outfits), initially had “about the most reasonable response to this thing we've seen yet,” according to fellow Malteses LuLu and LoLLy.
"We emailed them and said, 'Hello Laptops! What do you think about this Doggy Yoga thing?" LuLu explained. "And this is what we got back --"
"Doggy Yogurt? Well, we are all in favor of this new craze! We guess we will have to stick with vanilla, because dogs should not eat chocolate. Are there other flavors, or just those two? Do you have to keep it frozen? Can you have jimmies and whipped cream and caramel syrup and nuts on it? How many calories are in it? Now that we (Suzie Q Sunshine and Delilah) have new pink, flowered bikinis, we need to pay attention to calorie counts, especially after the way we pigged out at the Rescue Picnic on Sunday. Come to think of it, that 'Life Guard on Doody' tshirt seemed a bit snug on The Mighty (bad) Samson by the end of the picnic, too. So, is this available in a 'light' version? This invention is EGGSELENT!"
To learn more about Doggy Yoga, click here!
August 23rd 2008 10:12 am
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Despite the fact that our Humans would only drive us to rehearsal on the weekends and at night, we managed to make a music rock video! You can watch it here! We had awesome doggy friend help, like the Wee Rescues in Austin, Texas. Also dog trainer Lee Mannix conducted the chorus, which was a big help, because there's nothing like corralling a bunch of yappers to sing in tune,
Most importantly, we feel we did an excellent job of costuming ourselves with pink wigs, which were very fun to wear. Love, Your Rockin' PaLs, LoLLy and my sister LuLu too!
July 13th 2008 11:19 am
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Dear Fellow Canines and your humans: Last nite we were watching the humans play a game. This game is called Poke-Her, which is strange, because there is no poking involved, of hims or hers. However, this is not the first time that humans have made no sense. There was no poking, but there were cards. Also, the humans moved these cards around a lot. This game seemed very dull, as no running, chasing, rolling, or bones were involved. However, we learned something very important: ACE IS HIGHER THAN KING.
Which brings us to our point: If Ace is higher than King, then isn't it about time to get an Ace Bed? That would help our sleeping a lot. For one thing, we're tired of being woken up in the middle of the night by one of our Humans yelling something like, "How is it impossible to move a five and one half pound dog?" And we're tired of our Humans crowding the pillows. Our sleep is continually disrupted by the Humans trying to pull the covers straight after we've put a lot of effort into rumpling them JUST THE WAY WE WANT THEM.
So it doesn't take a genius -- although clearly it takes at least someone as smart as a dog -- to figure out we need a bigger bed. AND IF ACE IS BIGGER THAN KING, as we learned last nite listening to the Poke-Her game, then WHY NOT GO GET AN ACE-SIZED BED?
Really, is it so hard?
Love, Your Sleep-Disturbed PaLs, LuLu and LoLLy!