November 24th 2009 5:46 pm
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Dear Diary,
Remember when I mentioned that I was optimistically looking up the tree truck for squirrels? Well, my optimism, cunning, and stellar reflexes not to mention my awesome ground speed have paid off in fur: squirrel fur, that is. I caught my first squirrel today! Suzy saw me parading around the back yard with the squirrel's tail dangling out the side of my mouth and ran outside yelling "oh no oh no oh crap!" I was hoping for her to play-bow her congratulations and engage in a game of toss-the-squirrel with me. Instead, she ran around the back yard wringing her hands and was not at all calm or assertive, I might add. I left the squirrel half-buried under some leaves and when I got back to it, it had moved. Curious. Now it is on the other side of the fence and if I try to get to it, I get zapped. I saw Suzy saying some sort of last rites over the squirrel even though it wasn't exactly dead, or at least I think it wasn't because it kept squealing at me when I picked it up (and I would drop it and growl at it).... not sure if Suzy moved it for her own use later... I am sad that she didn't want to share, but I understand. A squirrel is a great prize indeed.
love,
Daisy Duke (aka they should have named me "Diana" as in "the huntress")
October 8th 2009 5:57 pm
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Dear Diary,
Lately I've been working on training Suzy, a process that has proven to be surprisingly frustrating and slow. The back door of our house has a bell attached to the doorknob. I ring the bell, and then Suzy is trained to come and let me out. Usually she does this very well, especially if I look like I am getting ready to pee by the door.
Now comes the tricky part: getting Suzy to use higher reasoning to extrapolate from the bell meaning "let me out" to it meaning "give me tasty food". I've tried to train her by coming inside through the door, and immediately ringing the bell to show her that she needs to supply the food. She keeps responding by opening the door and letting me out again. Silly Suzy. She seems to have a mental block about this part of her training. So I will keep trying (*ring ring*) and hope that I can help her learn to think outside the box on this one. Until then, I guess I will have to settle for some worm-snacks in the back yard.
Love,
Daisy
May 11th 2009 10:11 am
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Dear Diary,
Today is my one-year adoption birthday. I was adopted by Suzy et al exactly one year ago, or so she tells me. I am still not sure what a "year" is, but I have enjoyed my time living with these humans. They are generally quite nice, and some of them are messy with their food, so I can pretty much count on a midday snack provided I'm willing to lick it off of the kitchen floor (and who wouldn't be?).
Suzy does a good job of taking me for walks in the morning, and she continues to put my poop in those sacred bags (see previous diary entries) and keep it in the Special Container. I do my best to continue to poop and in turn fortify her spiritual nature, especially the time I began eating bird seed shells from under the bird feeder and then produced copious quantities of bird shell poop (and puke, which apparently is even more sacred, as Suzy began chanting "oh no oh no oh GROSS don't eat it!" whenever I would puke. Such a spiritual girl, my Suzy is.)
I am hoping for some birthday presents, as having observed the humans, I get the idea that good things are given to the birthday person (or dog). Perhaps Suzy will get the hint and start a chipmunk farm in the backyard...
Until then, I remain optimistically looking up the tree trunks for squirrels.
Love,
Daisy Duke, the Birthday Brittany
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