Larkish Licking

Oh the joy I have in licking things.
Every morning I wake up and thank my pillow for being so cozy and lick it wet until the oldest teen, Mandy wakes up and tells me to stop being silly. Silly? Drooling, thats silly! And I've seen her do that, please!
Then the youngest teen, Nick wakes and takes me out. I like when he walks me apposed to Papa Human or Mandy: he lets me run free! No fence, no leash, nothing but the fur on my back. Mama Human doesn't do much with me besides yelling for me to stop licking the kitchen floor and go down stairs. Sometimes, however, when the kids are 'schooling' she sneaks me a Pup-treat [don't take the name seriously, I'm no pup!] and she doesn't make me work for it! I'm happy about that!
Mandy Human has been 'training' me for years now, she's happy to say she has me 'preforming' the following;
sit, down, stay, come, roll-over [flip], speak, dance, up, crawl, wave goodbye, shake, and a few more I cannot recall.
The best trick I believe I can do is search. I have so much fun! Mandy hides usually two treats for me while I'm hiding in the other room so I can't see her. Then she releases me and I run, snuffing and sniffing trying to find the treats. I sit when I do and then...SNACK TIME! I'm an old dog, as you know, but I always have it in for a good game of search. I could be a cop dog! But I'm better then that.
Time for a good game right now! Byebye! *Snufffff!* -Chucky

Cartilage Controversy

The problem now-a-days is everyone is on a tight leash. Won't let you walk without one on, you have to be fenced in, you can't use the grass without picking it up, and you certainly can't eat bones...human excuse; you'd die.
Please, lemme tell you young pups that I've been chewing bones since I was little, hiding it behind human backs, living the dream. But my "owners" lemme tell you, do not, under any circumstances, let me chew bones or any other food that comes from their table. How cruel! So I showed them!
We were on my daily walk up the road and around some when I came across the smelliest thing I have ever experienced...a dead bird. My owner called it a wren, I think he could smell it, but didn't know how to track it. So I got it for him, I grasped onto one of the wing bones and chomped down. The youngest teen flipped out, he was trying to steal it from me, but I showed him, I gnarled and snarled and didn't let him near me, but he picked me up and shoved his dirty paws in my mouth.
Unfortunately, after this I had a very upset tummy and I had 'slushy' poo and vomited a couple of times too. I really didn't like the taste but I had to show them, no one puts a leash on Charles J. Woo!
Ta ta for now Diary, *Snufffff!* - Chucky

Snakey Situation

So my owners get home from church and the oldest teen, Mandy [I've mentioned her before] decides to walk me! She NEVER walks me! I was so very happy and very behaved for her.
In the middle of the walk however, I jumped! There was a little gardener snake! On MY land! How dare it, now if I had invited it, that's different, but NO! He just comes on my lawn. Mandy was laughing at me...I was snuffing my nose and going in circles, what if he was dangerous? What was I to do? Then all of a sudden, you wouldn't believe it....SHE PICKS IT UP! Crazy human! What are you gonna do with that snake?!? She placed it to my nose and told me
"Chucky...its a s.n.a.k.e, [like i'm dumb! gosh!] it won't hurt you!" So I showed her by pulling on the leash..although it wasn't to my advantage, I choked myself. I do that often, and I start, what the humans call, reverse sneezing. So Mandy carried me home cause she felt bad. She's a good human, I think I'll give her a treat when we get inside.
Well, I'll write soon diary! *Snufffff!* -Chucky

Dukey Dilemma

By Dukey, I mean my brother, not poop....I do that just fine, although my prostate is enlarged but that's another story!
Sir Duke of Avalon they call him, my owner Mandy's new 'pet.' I call him a pain in my tail! Well, it's really her boyfriends dog. He's alright, for a pup. But really? Must you sniff and bark and go psycho when you see me? You think he'd never seen a dog before!
I think he's kinda mean..and ditsy...really, who chases tennis balls? Unhealthy behavior I believe. Now, I'm not neutered, but this little fellow has to be, he's insane! I'm just glad he's not living in my house! But when he comes over I know better. I hide in Mandy's arms or go down stairs. I can't even GO down stairs [or up for that matter] anymore, so you know when I do, I don't want to be around.
I hope that pup grows up soon, I'd hate to waste a brother.
Until later dairy! *Snufffff!* -Chucky

Magnificent Morning!

It's past noon, and they argue who's walking me. You would not believe how hard life is with teenagers. Sure you lick them, sometimes, and run around with them, but soon they leave you. I don't want them to leave...who will scratch my belly? Who will dry me off after a rainy day? Who will sneak me pills in my bread and think I don't have a clue? I know I still have Mama & Papa Human...but the kids are so much fun! What's important about college anyhow? Wouldn't they rather lay around and get leaves in their fur? Oh well, you can teach a human, but you can't put a leash on him.
I'm hungry....oh woof am I! I feel my little tummy rumbling, when did I last eat? My bowl is always out, so it's hard to remember when I last ate. Many people tell my humans not to do that, but why not? I won't eat when they tell me to, no sir. I'm an old dog, I can feed myself thank you.
Well diary, I must go cry now, maybe the youngest male will have sympathy and walk the poor old pooper [me!]...until tomorrow, *Snufffff!* -Chucky