Bag o' Chips 1.28.2010

Last night while the whole house was sleeping, I found a bag of blue corn tortilla chips on the counter. Blue I tell ya. Who makes a chip blue, for Pete's sake? Some crazy healthy person, that's who. Big Mama and Big Daddy not only bought blue chips but they are organic. That means there isn't any bad stuff in the chips. What a bummer. I was looking forward to a good Dorito high at midnight, but the only thing that was high was my position as I laid on the back of the couch, gazing with a perplexed look at the closed-up bag of blue chips in the middle of the floor. Blue chips just don't do it for this girl and her girth.

Big Mama had put the chip clip on really tight anyway. It's easier for me to get the bags open when it's nothing but a rubber band wrapped around the bag, but rubber bands are bad for me, too, so they stopped using them. Big Mama always makes it easy for me to get all the crumbs out of the bottom of the bag by making a slit on each side at the top of the bag. I put my head in the bag and it rips right down the side. I don't know if Big Mama knows how easy she makes it for us. It goes to show she really does love me and wants me to have chips.

This one time she found me with my head in the chip bag. She cried. She said that it's dangerous and I could suffocate if the bag doesn't rip along the cuts like it's supposed to do. She always makes sure that she cuts the bag, so I don't know what she gets so stressed about. Being a safety freak, you'd think she'd worry less, but not Big Mama. She worries about everything. I didn't even eat the chips last night but she was worried when she found out I had taken them off the counter. I think that was more because I was about to get in trouble with Big Daddy. Speak of the devil and the devil appears. Here's Big Daddy now. Gotta go...

Today Is the Day [11.15.09]

Today is the day that I run amuck at Camp Chaos. I will eat any piece of bread that you leave within my reach. I will shred any plastic bag that contains said bread. Granted, I take the chance of suffocating, but I do not care. I will eat bread. I will eat all of the bread. I will gain 3 lbs today. And I will be proud of it.

I Want A Steak! [11.2.09]

After this weekend of rain, I think I need a steak myself. Granted, I didn't do anything special like Elvis, but it would be delicious & my figure can always use a little help.

And besides that point, I think Big Mama wants to starve me to death. Everytime she gives everyone else cookies, she only gives me tiny pieces. Sometimes Big Daddy even gives me a pet on the head & tells me my reward is love. They love me regardless so, that's no reasonable reward. Harsh is what that is.

Now they're giving Elvis a steak? All he did was bring in a mouse that someone else killed & pounced around on it like a little fool. I say that with love in my heart. It was very cute of him, jumping & rolling & grunting & then pouncing on it just to roll around on it some more. I'm surprised it didn't spew all of its innerds all over Elvis. He got to play with it for a REALLY LONG TIME before Big Daddy even realized Elvis was just a little too excited about his plaything.

So little man gets a steak & I get a pet on the head. There really is no justice in the world. None whatsoever.

Ther's A Drizzle Over Here! [10.18.09]

Today a doggie named Drizzle checked into Camp. She brought with her a little boy named Petey, but Big Mama said Petey will be going to his own furever family on Monday. Petey is just hanging out with us for a few days in the meantime.

Miss Drizzle Izzle is a funny girl. She's got enough energy to power Camp Chaos for at least a week or two. Big Mama blames it on her hormones; she said Drizzle will calm down after she's been spayed. So far she's not gotten on my nerves, but she is quite the irritating fool to Patti Cake & Romi. Patti Cake has been sleeping with Shylee Sweet & me being as such.

We love Patti Cake. We love Drizzle, too, but we don't want her to stick around forever like we do Patti Cake. Drizzle is so pretty that she'll get a great furever home after she gets to the vet & gets her girl parts removed so she can't have babies. That's what a spay does for us girls. It may sound horrible, but it sure beats having puppies. Don't take my word for it. Take Adelade's. She's had enough puppies & medical issues from not being spayed early in life that she can write a book on the horrors of breeding.

Big Mama said last week that Adelade isn't adoptable anymore because she's staying here with us. I'm glad. She's a good girl & takes a lot of pressure off me with the new puppies. I used to be the Camp Counselor, but I'm tired of being chewed on. I'd rather hang out with the older dogs, so we'll leave the youngin's for Addie.

Now, let me get back to party time with Drizzle Izzle...

Too Many Visits [10.13.09]

Going to see Dr. Mike doesn't bother me all too much. A shot here, a cold metal thing there, & I go home after Big Mama pays. That's not a big deal either since Big Mama is made of money. She laughs & says so every time she's checking her email and someone asks her for money or she has to pay a bill. Being made of money must tickle her since she laughs about it. I know she is really ticklish, but you wouldn't think something about one's innerds would be so funny ha-ha.

But this time she didn't laugh about being made of money when she got off the phone with Wonderful Nancy at Dr. Mike's office. She petted Adelade & told her she loved her a whole bunch instead. And she looked sad. All these visits to Dr. Mike are getting to Big Mama. First it was Tiny Elvis...hold on, first it was Adelade before Tiny Elvis showed up. Then it was Elvis a couple of times, now Adelade's going back.

I don't know what cancer is or what a tumor is, but it can't be funny ha-ha like being made of money. Big Mama cried when she talked about cancer & tumors. Not good. Not good at all. Adelade is so dad-gum old, but she's finally getting good food & hot baths & nice places to sleep. What gives? Why does she have to have this not-so-funny-ha-ha reason to go back to Dr. Mike? Dr. Mike will take good care of her, but it makes me feel bad when Big Mama is sad. I think I'll go invade her space & get on her nerves. I may get in trouble, but at least she'll be distracted from her sadness.

I Have A New Bed! [10.4.09]

My Granny came to visit today! I was extra good since last time I saw her I ended up biting her. It was an accident, but I wanted to show her how good I am. I licked her foot while she was sewing, my peace offering, so to speak. She shivered & said, "ooh, Georgie Girl, please please don't lick me." I don't think my peace offering went very well, but she did pet me before she left. It was a flat-handed, no-lovin'-here kind of pet, but as our friend Jennifer said, she's come a long way. Some day she'll learn how to pet a dog better, until then, we'll take what we get.

While she visited, Big Mama had the sewing machines out. Big Mama isn't that great of a seamstress (that was on my Word of the Day calendar last week), but she can make a great dog bed. Thanks to the chair cushions that got ripped up last week while she napped, there was a lot of extra-soft cotton for stuffing.

The beds aren't all mine. I do share with my sisters and brothers. Tiny Elvis tends to lay on the purple crushed velvet bed. It's only fitting since he is the King. The other ones are red & green plaid, plus a gray & purple plaid. I love them all & won't be picking. Big Daddy said it's like walking through a swamp of big pillows. I think it's a little piece of living room heaven!

What She Gets for Napping [9.29.09]

Big Mama felt bad yesterday. When Big Mama feels bad, she likes to nap. When she came home early yesterday, we all got excited to see her an hour earlier than usual. After giving us lunch, she put on her pj's. "What's this? It's not bedtime," I thought to myself.

Off Big Mama goes, taking Tiny Elvis with her, she crawled into bed. We all followed, of course. It's great to pile into bed with Big Mama & my siblings. We all love it. After 30 minutes of us joining her only to leave 5 minutes later (Patti Cake!), Big Mama kicked all of us out except for Tiny Elvis & closed the door.

An hour later, she awoke to find 3 of 4 chair cushions on the porch & bleeding cotton. Yep, they were lost to Patti Cake or to Adelade or maybe even to me & Mojo & Shylee Sweet...I'll never tell! Romi would never do such a thing, so it's no use even pulling her into the mix. But that's what she gets for napping & not including us. We'll show her!

Why Am I in the Bathroom?

This morning Big Mama awoke to chaos. You'd think that's everyday since it's called Camp Chaos, but today it was for real. She went to the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning & Tiny Elvis followed her.

Yep, he had escaped the bathroom & spent most of the night hanging out with us. He's a polite little man & we all like him, so we didn't tell. His pooh piles found throughout the house didn't bother Big Mama either, which means she LOVES him. For some reason, I wonder if she loves us anymore. All we did was rip a roll of paper towels to shreds, eat a package of tortillas, a few cinnamon raisin bagels, drag her bag & purse into the yard & rip said bag to shreds. That's not so much if you saw all the stuff in the house that we also could have destroyed. Relatively, it wasn't that much destruction plus Big Daddy was able to find her wallet & checkbooks in the backyard.

I wasn't the only one in on the shenannigans, but I am in the bathroom with Tiny Elvis now. We won't be in here long before we bust outta this joint, but I can't believe Big Daddy closed the gate & then they both walked away, leaving me here with little dude screaming to get out now. Cool trick, him talking, I have to admit, but I wish I didn't have front row seats for it.

[Sigh.] I wish my Big Mama would have stayed home and cuddled with me all day long. And, yes, dagnabbit, she is MY Big Mama. Stop trying to take her away from me!

What's So Bad about Heaven? [9.19.09]

Big Mama & Big Daddy have been calling Camp Chaos, our home, a little piece of heaven. I can count a little & realize the reference to 6 means that there are 6 dogs left, this is good, and our pack is solid.

Today, Big Mama and Big Daddy come home with a mangy little puppy. Actually, it's not mange, rather it's ringworm. Not a bad problem to have since it's cheap to fix in terms of money & expensive in terms of time. Typically ringworm doesn't go away for 4-6 weeks after treatment begins. We know because Mojo's brothers had it & stuck around a lot longer than planned because of it. We're not afraid of ringworm. I was happy to go nose-to-nose with the little mousy buddy baby they're calling Elvis.

Elvis is tiny, just like the first Elvis who was Mojo's baby brother. But his little tiny size comes from lack of food. Little buddy has even growled at us. He weighs every bit of 7 lbs at maybe 10 weeks old & he's growling at Mojo and me. And he makes 7. No more heaven of 6. I hope I don't get less walks.

Even if I don't get regular walks, Elvis is going to be fun. I'm glad Big Mama & Big Daddy were able to bring him home to help him get healthy. He wouldn't have made it without us.

Camp Chaos 37206 welcomes another long-legged, skinny-minny independent boy to the pack! Welcome, Elvis!

Crown Me the Weight Loss Queen!

After a lot of scrimping at mealtime, Big Mama has gotten me to shed a few pounds finally. Last week it was time for my sisters & me to make the annual trek to the vet. Big Mama checked the mail last month to find a postcard from the vet stating it was time for our rabies shot & annual exam. Getting a shot doesn't bother me since cookies always follow shots. Typically tears come before the shot because that's when