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The Life and Times of Zoey the Wonder Dog

Dear God It's Me Margaret....uh I mean Zoey

Lately I have been feeling a little lost and unsure of myself. So last night when I was talking to my mom, she suggested I do some journaling. She said free association writing might help uncover the real problems beneath my increasingly troublesome behavioral problems. She said it probably has to do with a poor self-image and a whole bunch of other psycho-babble. (To be honest, I stopped listenting after a while).

Anyway, I thought it couldn't hurt, so here goes....

Being adopted and never getting to know my biogical parents has really left me with some feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. That feeling of never knowing where I really came from may very well be the basis of the identity crisis that has begun to rear its ugly head as I mature into adulthood.

Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to my new mom and dad for adopting me and saving my life. But sometimes (especially when Daddy loses his temper when I make a mistake and accidently ruin some furniture) I just want to say..."hey why did you even adopt me in the first place if I'm such a pain in your a_ _?" And I would totally say that too if I spoke English and could, ya know, talk...at all. But alas, I can not, so I just get "talked to" and then take out my frustration on one of the various bones or toys they give me. When you think about it, all those toys and treats are really just distractions used to divert my attention from my real issues. Sometimes I just feel like no one is listening. I mean, my mom is a pretty good listener, but as soon as she starts with her "friendly advice'", its all over. I might as well be a brick wall. She's off on a tangent and I'm stuck with my feelings of abandonment and confusion that began that whole discussion in the first place.

But at the end of day, when the three of us lay our heads down on the pillow and nod off to sleep, I wonder, "what would I do with out them?". They might not be the worlds greatest parents/dog owners, but I know they love me and just want the best for me. When I'm alone during the day and feeling left-out and unloved, I just have to remind myself, "hey, they're at work right now to give you a better life." Then I feel better. And nothing beats the look and mommy and daddy's faces when they get home and pick me up and give me kisses and tell me that I am the cutest, smartest, most special angel dog in all the land.

I guess I do have it pretty good after all. Mom was right, this journaling stuff really does help clear my head...man, she's always right.