The Lady's Man
October 29th 2008 10:58 am
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Star Date 29.10.2003
5 years ago today, my life changed forever.
The day started out as any other... and at that time, everyday was the same as the one before. It had been 2 months since I had come home from Toronto and 2 months after I had left the most painful experience of my life. You see, I had just left a very abusive relationship and was struggling to get my life back in order. But the emotional scars just ran so deep. I just wanted the pain to end. My family tried, but I don't think they really understood the extent of what I had just been through and I certainly wasn't in any position to tell them. So I quietly suffered alone. At night, I would cry myself to sleep and pray. All I had was prayer, but the pain continued and I simply thought, God has forgotten me.
I didn't feel worthy of love and didn't think I had any love to give. This man had taken everything from me and made me feel so worthless, I thought I was better off dead. Oh please just make the pain go away... please just end my suffering.
I had no place to go except home and going home at 29 made me feel even worse. I had always been independent and admitting I needed my parents at 29 made me feel like even more of a failure. I couldn't run away, I had no money or resources to leave with. I just had a dream of building a business so I focused on that. But starting a business with nothing and already an emotional wreck was all the more trying. I got by a little with the few bucks I brought in here and there... but I knew it would be a LONG time before the business even showed the slightest profit. So I had lots of time to think which at that point, was dangerous.
It was around noon that day that my Dad came into the house where my sister and I were making coffee. He was visibly shaken up as he had almost hit a puppy a couple miles from home. He had stopped to see where this puppy had come from. My parents live in a rural area, so there is nothing around but road and forest. Where this puppy was found, there was no houses within a mile of each side. In the forest, he found a mother and a bunch of pups. The mother was a mess. She was skinny with sagging spent breasts, tangled hair and missing half her tail. When my Dad went to pet her, she crounched in terror like she was expecting my Dad was going to lay a beating on her. My Dad estimated the pups to be around 6-8 weeks old...it looked like they had been very recently weaned. My Dad is a farmer so he can tell when an animal has just finished breastfeeding.
So we decided that my Dad had to go back and get Mother and babes and keep them here where they would be safe and fed. Just as we were talking, my Dad's buddy pulls in. He's a police officer and usually stops in for a coffee on his way by. We told him about the pups so Dad jumps into the cruiser and they both go back to look for the Mom and pups. When they came back, all they had were two pups with them. Kaiser and a white one that we named Chucky. Chucky later became Max at his furever home. They said they looked everywhere and the Mom and other pups were nowhere to be found. We found out later, someone else had come upon the family and loaded the Mother and the other pups into his truck and took them to the vet clinic where they stayed until they were adopted. But they missed 2 pups!!!! Kaiser and his brother must have been frantically searching for their Mom because they were running around on the road when my Dad got back there.
Now I will admit that before that day, I wasn't much of a dog person. I liked dogs I knew, but was scared of any others. I was a cat person. But those 2 little munchkins totally melted my heart. I cried the day that Chucky left. I wanted to keep them both, but knew I couldn't. My family wasn't emotionally ready yet to get another dog, they were still mourning the loss of their cocker spaniel. But I continued to see Chucky regularly until his family moved away.
As much as I loved that other little dog.. it was Kaiser that was destined to be mine. He was so scrappy - both physically and personality. I didn't know the first thing about dogs. But Kaiser was the dominant one over his brother. I think that's why the other family chose Chucky. Kaiser would bite, he would walk all over the bed at night while his brother would settle down and want to sleep, pee wherever he pleased. He wouldn't stay inside the wash basin while his brother sat silently and seemed to love to be bathed. Chucky was the obvious choice for a family with 3 children.
But nothing changes the way this little boy looked at me the day he came into my life. He was so skinny.. he looked like a bobblehead. He was dirty and smelly, but he had a smile that just lit up a room. We would be outside and he'd come racing up to me with a big sunshiney face and proceeded to pee at my feet. I just wanted to pick him up and swing him around in a big hug and kiss his little face. Oh he was so adorable!!!!
I still remember when he jumped out of the police cruiser. We had a couple stray cats that my Dad would feed. After those pups jumped out of the cruiser, all we saw was a big orange blur go running into the garage. BOL!!! My sister actually kinda started not liking Kaiser because he was scaring the cats away. When she would go out to feed them, Kaiser would follow and want to eat the food. So my sister started feeding them up on the retaining wall flowerbed outside the house. I will never forget the time when Kaiser was just getting big enough that his little paws could reach the top of the flowerbed and grab a few kitty kibbles. My sister would say to me "Your dog gives me rage!!!" BOL!!!
Now it's 5 years later and we have been through so much. We've moved twice. The business took off so I was able to find a location where we could live in and I could run my business out of. Business got so good, we were able to buy a house. We've added 2 more furries to our family. Maggie in 2005 and Sam in 2006. I had Rascal my kitty already when Kaiser came. Hindsight, Rascal was trying to comfort me when I was going through my bad time, but I was being too selfish to notice it at the time.
My animals have been my rock and no matter what happens in my life and how low I sometimes feel, I know they love me and are depending on me. They give my life a purpose. Kaiser has grown into such a wonderful and handsome boy. He is so affectionate and smart. He makes me laugh and brings comfort to me when I am sad. He looks out for his furblings and the home. He has such a wonderful personality. He also has such wonderful manners when out in public and I am always getting compliments on what a good boy he is. He loves everyone.. other dogs, kids, kitties, people. I couldn't ask for a better dog. He is just so wonderful and he has been so good for his sister. Maggie has learned so much from him and in turn, has become such a great dog herself.
5 years ago, we may have saved him, but he really saved me.
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Kaiser - My sweet boy is gone