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Kaiser Wilhem Reincarnated

When Mommy I Away The Naughty Dog Plays

My mommy and the guy that takes up space on the couch came back recently from the Carribean. I got left at my auntie's house for two and a half weeks. Normally I wouldenjoy this but the human slaves played a dirty trick on me. They made me do this stupid thing called a diet. It was something absurd about my being fat or something. I love my auntie's house because my best friend Alois lives there and my other humans and doggy friends. This time though it sucked. My mommy said I couldn't have any treats and had to stay to a diet. I really hated it so I got mad and ambushed my friends. I hid in the laundry room and jumped out an bit them. I bit Corker bloody, which is pretty dangerous because he's the alpha dog and if he wasn't so startled he would have chewed me up. I got away with it that time but I don''t think I'll try again. I continuously screamed for more food and treats but didn't get any so I peed on the floor and then took a nasty dump on the front porch. Something good came out of that though. I got my special pants back and proudly worethem until I got mad and tore them off to pee on the floor. I'm very clever. After a while of throwing a tantrum I got happy again and was good the last couple of days before mom and the guy on the couch came back. I'm goodas gold now.

I Took a Trip To Suckville

My humans played a dirty rotten trick on me. They got me all excited to go on a car ride, set me up in front of my window so I could see outside and then took me the wrong way. I knew what they were doing when I saw them go down the wrong road and I screamed like a Banshee. I wanted to go see my friends, not go to Modesto. Modesto sucks. It should be called Suckville. I screamed like a Banshee until we got to our destination, my Auntie's house. I decided to punish all the humans for doing the wrong thing and taking me somewhere I hate. So to get even with them I took the nastiest dump I could muster right on the concrete in front of the door. That'll teach them for bringing me to Suckville. I showed them. HA HA

I do Like The Best Of Everything

I took the human personality test and it turns out, like my little buddy, Corker, I'm a Simon Cowell type. Though I would be more of the teddy bear side then the blunt side. That side only comes out of me when I want something to eat or humans aren't catering to my every need fast enough. Seriously though, all I want is the best of everything.
Simon Cowell
Hard to Please

Enterprising, brassy and not afraid to bark what's on his mind, Franklin is Idol-maker Simon Cowell!

There's no beating around the bush with Franklin and flattery will get you nowhere. Franklin calls it like he sees it, and stands firm on all fours behind his decisions. The cat definitely does not have Franklin's tongue—some of his pals think he's bitter and confrontational, while others find him to be impawsibly hilarious. Franklin's influence on those around him is remarkable, and he takes advantage of this fact and uses it wisely. Behind his no-nonsense mask, Franklin is a perceptive sponge, taking in what he sees and hears around him, and then figuring out how to make it look, or sound, better.