May 13th 2013 11:43 am
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My, SWEET Baby Boy, My Sweet Babboo, My Love, MY ADAM. I can’t believe it has been 2 years now. The week leading up to today, was so very hard for me. I have cried so much, I don’t know why that week was so very hard for me. I think about you all the time. YOU are never far from My Heart. I woke up today and that day came flooding back. I started to remember every little thing that happened that day. I look at the clock and think about what I was doing then. I feel you are here, the Girls are acting strange, looking down the hall. I was sitting on the floor where you left me. Are you here my Sweetheart? I will go later to your grave to put some flowers and to sit and talk to you. I hope you can send me a sign a message. I know you are ok , I just want to hear from you.
I miss my Babboo lips so much. I went on your page today. I was so happy that you are still remembered and that they haven’t forgot about My Baby Boy. Of course that made me cry too. THANK YOU SO MUCH for LOVING MY LOVE.
I was going to find a poem or write something yesterday, but I just couldn't. There are no words that can say what I am feeling.
Adam, I miss you so very much, it is strange, when I do something with the girls, I still think I wonder if or what Adam would think.
My heart just hurts so very much today. BUT, I can just think that one day we WILL be together again and we WILL walk in the sun, without a harness and you can chase butterflies. We WILL have Eternity together for many walks and We WILL walk alone, that WILL be “OUR TIME”, just Me and My Son. You WILL be able to chase your SisFurs and just hang out with them.
Adam, I MISS YOU and I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH.
Purrs & Very Sad Tears,
Mommy & “THE GIRL GANG OF FURS”
December 19th 2012 9:39 pm
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I am sitting here listening to your music, as the tears just stream down my face. I can’t believe this is the second year I can’t celebrate your Meowday with YOU. I am trying to type, but I can’t see. My Adam , MY LOVE, I miss you still so very much. I still look for You. You haven’t sent me a message since Your Last Meowday, I guess that was the last one You could send me. I know you are watching over Me and Your SisFurs. You sent me such a gift last year, I will tell everyone what you sent me last year.
It was raining so very hard all day. I have to go , so I walked slowly under an umbrella to your grave. I had a chair to sit in. I sat and sung Happy Meowday To You. I was crying so much and I talked to you. Then I was just sitting there crying when all of a sudden this bright light was shining in my eyes. I looked up and I could not believe, the sun was coming out. But it was just over your grave and me. Its like Heaven just open its window. I looked up over my head, what I saw was a very blue sky and sun. But, I looked over further and I was shocked, it was still dark and grey and raining, but not where I was. I looked on the ground and I could not believe what I saw……………..
On the ground was a shadow, what I couldn’t believe , that it was in the shape of an Angel, yes an Angel. I really could feel You there. I know YOU WERE THERE!
I cried more, I talked to You more. I KNEW You were showing me what you were seeing in Heaven. YOU were showing me that it is Sunny and Bright and just BEAUTIFUL at the Bridge.
After awhile the Sun went away, just as quickly as it showed up. It looked like Heaven just closed its door to me.
I looked up again and the blue sky was gone, it was so dark and gloomy again. I KNEW there was no way the Sun would have came out that day, it was too dark and rainy and gloomy. But, YOU HAD to come see Me and to share this wonderful feeling to me and to make me feel what you are feeling and to tell me that you are ok. You have sent me so many gifts from Heaven, to let me know that you are ok and happy. I did feel some what better knowing and seeing where you are. I just miss you so very much.
I told your Maw Maw what happened at first she didn’t believe it , but then she told me that when she went to get the mail. She looked at your grave and saw a light from Heaven shining down on your grave. It was raining but not on your grave.
I KNOW where you are, I know YOU are SAFE and HAPPY and YOU are with GOD. I know GOD is taking good care of YOU until I get there to hold and just LOVE MY SWEETHEART once again.
I will come today and HOPE and PRAY that maybe just maybe you might could come and just send me a message, to let me know you haven’t forgot about ME.
You would have been 14 today. I miss you MY LOVE, MY SWEETHEART. You are still THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. I hope YOU have a good day My BABY. I know You and Little One will have fun today.
HAPPY MEOWDAY ADAM.
LOVE YOU with ALL MY HEART ADAM.
May 12th 2012 11:35 pm
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Oh my, this is so very hard to type. I still can’t believe I am really typing this. I can’t believe it has been a year since My Sweet Adam left me that terrible day. I am still stuck on that day and that time 3:15 when I heard that terrible scream and He was gone. Time has not helped in fact it just makes things worse, I still cry at strange times, I see something that reminds me of Adam and I cry. I wake up in the middle of the night hearing that sound and start to cry. This has been so very hard on me and I know My heart will never mend, this pain will never go away or ease. There is a huge hole in my Heart that will never close.
I look back all the time thinking what if I did
What if I could go back and do things over, better than I did.
It is the little things I miss,
I miss him yowling at the door.
I miss him waking me up in the middle of the night saying Mommy wake up I AM HUNGRY!
I miss those big BEAUTIFUL eyes looking at me first thing in the morning.
I miss him walking in my room with his nails clicking on the floor, nobody else did that, I knew he was in there.
I miss him purring when I would walk in the room and sit with him or hold him.
I miss him grunting when I petted him.
I miss holding MY BABY.
I miss kissing those Babboo Lips, that I long to kiss right now.
I miss him kissing me, he was such a good kisser.
I miss taking him for walks.
I miss so many more things.
I MISS ADAM.
I know he is in a better place, I know he is out of pain, healthy and young and he has his little toe back, but it still does not help me with this pain I am in.
Adam, MY LOVE,
I still can’t believe you are gone. I am so sorry I could not save you, I tried so very hard. I am so sorry I let you down. I am so sorry I can’t handle this better. I am so sorry you have to see me this way. I know you have come to visit me, I felt you here. I know you are trying to heal my heart. You have taught me so much, You taught me to LOVE again. You gave so much to me and you still are giving to me with all the signs you send to me. Oh MY LOVE, there is so much I want to say but I can’t see for all the tears falling. You were such a big part of me and now all I feel is numb and empty inside. Of all days for this to fall on, Mother’s Day, it just hits me harder. But, any day would be hard. Coming to this day, was so hard for me, I knew I had to write a diary for you.
My LOVE, I can’t type any more.
One day WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN, then just maybe my tears will end and all there will be left is Happiness & Joy, because once again We are together again. Until then MY LOVE.
I LOVE YOU ADAM SO SO VERY MUCH.