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Memoirs of a Goofball

Sleepin wif da hoomans an more bugz

Yesserday Zoe founded a nudder bug. Mommy finks dat mebbe dey need to fix sumpin on da door or sumpin. But anyway, all ub a sudden daddy started yellin for mommy. "Come here, quick. Kill it! Kill it!"

So, mommy camed ober an sawed da bug. Zoe wuz haffin lotz ub fun wif it, she had pulled off most ub da legz already. Mommy tried to let daddy let Zoe finish wif it, but daddy wanted it GONE!

Mommy doezn't like da crunch when yew squish bugz, so she pickded it up an frewed it ouside. I didn't get to eat dis one, eider. Eben doh I was rite der an sittin nice for it.

I still getz to sleep wif mommy an daddy dese dayz. I used to sleep unner da blanketz by der feetz curled up in a ball. Now, I iz pritty sure dat dis iz a permy-nent rangement, so I hab bin makin myself more at home.

I like to sleep rite between dem an stretch out az long az I can. Den, I stix my feetz straight out in frontz ub me until I can't stretch dem any more. Den, wut eber hooman wut haz gotz my toe nailz diggin in dem movez ober an gibs me more room. It'z pritty sweet. I getz most ub da bed now.

A nudder fing I like to do iz move in da middle ub da nite an lay ON TOP ub mommy'z legz.

She'z bin a liddle crankee in da mornins recently. I fink she needz to drink more coffees or sumpin.

Toez in da house!

Da udder day, we had a toez in da house.

Wait, dat doezn't look right... mommy sed it wuz called a TOAD wut wuz in da house!

Yeah, Zoe wuz down stairz in da entry way fingy ub da house an she wuz tryin to peek unner da clozet door. We sumtimez getz bugz an stuff down der cuz da front door an garage doorz iz der. Mommy didn't fink much ub it an left Zoe to her bug stalkin.

After a while, daddy told mommy he shud check on Zoe cuz she had bin down der a long time. When mommy looked down da stairz, she sawed sumpin hoppin!

She ranned down an sawed dis itty bitty baby toad. He wuz only like a inch long or sumpin. Mommy sed he wuz cute. She hadda quick scoop him up afore Zoe gotted at him. An me, cuz by dat time I wuz rite der too! Mommy wuz sure one ub us wud try to eat him or sumpin, but she sed dat toadz wud gib me a tummy ache an make me extra drooly.

So, she safed him a tooked him back ouside where he belongs. I wish she wud hab at least let me LICK him or sumpin. Yew know, jest to taste...

In da kitchen

I wuz in da kitchen an mommy wuz on da puter. I started scratchin on da floor an mommy told me to knock it off. I did.

For a minute.

Den I started scratchin again. She told me again to knock it off. So I stopped for a secund den I started scratchin again.

Finley, mommy camed into da kitchen to see wut I wuz doin.

Der wuz a peperoni behind da garbage. I cudn't reach it. I HAD TO HAF IT!!!

Mommy picked up da peperoni an looked at it. It wuz all hard an wrinkley. I fink it had bin back der for a while. Den she looked at me. I wuz gibin her my best puppy dog look.

She rolled her eyez an gibbed me da peperoni.

I lub my mommy!