Entry From Whitie's Mommy.

Dear Dogster and Catster friends,

It's time to make the truth known and that is even after basically a year since Whitie's Passing I miss her only like it was yesterday. I am still hurting and I know there will never be another dog like her she was so special to me and meant so much. AS Bon-Bon meant to me too.

I miss them so much and I am hurting as if it were just yesterday since they passed this is my very first Christmas without the both of them by my side giving me cuddles and kisses and letting me their mommy know that they loved me and that everything was going to be ok.

This Christmas is very hard for me because I am not going home this year and am basically I guess you can say spending it alone.

People keep telling me that I should be over the loss of my baby girls by now because they were just animals but they were my daughters my precious girls.

I know God Gave HIS son for us and HE hurt too.

I feel so selfish for feeling this way as you have all noticed I have not been active at all in dogster and catster lately.

I feel guilty also for jumping in the decision of getting Freedom I never considered the size of my aprt for such a big dog. Freedom went to her new forever home last week a friend and her family took her in. Freedom loves it there yesterday her mommy, daddy and I signed a contract and made it legal she is now their family member but she will forever be in my heart. Freedom needed her Freedom she lives in a house now with a backyard and another pup to play with with 4 cats too. They have company all the time and Freedom loves the people and she already knows this is her family. I miss her but I know she's so happy in her new home. I get to go over and see her anytime I want to in fact I was there yesterday spending time with Freedom they will keep me updated and will send me pictures too.

But I feel so bad for still missing my angel girls. Sometimes I wish I was like Autumn and Terucan my cats and that I could be over their loss already. I know most people who lose family pets usually are over it before the year is up.

But I still only want them back. I miss them so much. Especially my helper dog Whitie who helped me feel safe while I was outside around so many people but I know I will never get either of them back and I know they are in a much better place. But then why does it still hurt so very much?

Autumn has not left my side this whole week she has been such a suck. Now that Freedom is gone Autumn is almost back to her normal self ask for attention no longer hiding during the day and once again playing with her sister Terucan and running around the house at times. But for the most part she has been by my side cuddling me and loving me and Terucan has taken her turns also to be a snuggle bug. They are a big help to me right now. But there is still that big huge hole in my heart of my two angel babies that are not there. The first two babies that I ever had..

Fantasia Moon who is also on dogster she was one of our family dogs I grew up with passed away 2 weeks ago she had a brain tumour and mom finally had to make the decision to let her go. It has not hit me yet that Fanny is gone because I have yet to be home and looks like I won't be going home this year. But she was a sweet little girl and I grew up with her she was 11 yrs old. Brittania from what mom said is doing alright she has a heart murmur and I pray Brit won't suddenly turn to depression once she realizes that her sister and best friend of 11 yrs is gone and pass away too because I know my mom wouldn't be able to handle that at this time.

I just keep remembering the times with My girls Whitie and Bon-Bon and just how much all my furfamily loved each other and took care of each other and just how protective Whitie was of her cats. And how she became the mother of Autumn basically when Autumn was only 4 weeks old.

how is it possible that after a year I still miss her this way and after 6 months I still miss Bon-Bon so much too? I do not know but I do know I am selfish for feeling this way and I feel so guilty for it because I know my mother is grieving something awful right now too with the loss of her baby girl just 2 weeks ago one year ago this past November she had to say goodbye to our last family cat Butterfly too who passed away from Liver cancer.

So to be truthful to everyone this year has been extremely hard on me and this Christmas isn't that much better.
Thank-you for all your support and prayers and thank-you so much to those of my friends that I have met on dogster and Catster that have kept in touch with me via e-mail it is very very much appreciated and helps show me that people do care and don't just say well they were just animals you should be over it by now.......... Especially when I already feel guilty enough for feeling this way..

Once again thank-you
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Tara

Sorry

Sorry everyone that my siblings and I have not been online..

Mommy has hit a really rough spot she is depressed and she just doesnt' feel like hitting the groups at the moment or reading msges either..
She's so sad to top it off people made mommy such nice pics of Bon-Bon with wings but before mommy had a chance to save them in the photobucket she had to reinstall on her comp.

Mommy is so down and it makes Bon-Bon and I so sad. WE hope she starts feeling happy soon
Whitie

Bon-Bon has Arrived Safely in Heaven

HI everyone well Bon-Bon arrived sometime around 3 pm this afternoon maybe.

I met my sister when she came well actually I had to fly down with her sister Luvbunny and Aunt Butterfly's help and we had to force her to come with us. She fought and fought and didn't want to go we explained to her it was time. She is here safe and sound with us at home In Heaven now although a bit confused. As I write this she is in Jesus' lap talking with HIM and HE is explaining some things to her.

Mommy is sad but doing well she is telling herself not to cry she cried afterwords though and I know it will hit her hard tonight When Bon-Bon is not there to go and snuggle with her before bed. That is when I know she is going to do most of her crying when There is nothing to do.

She is going to bury Bon-Bon tonight at 9pm when it's cooler and her friend can help her do it.

But she has arrived safely and is now no longer in pain and there will be no more seizure monster she can run and play and everything now too so it's awesome I love having my sister With me but I know we will be showering mommy and my other sisters with angel dust again.

Thanks for all your support
Love always
Whitie

HAPPY BIRHTDAY TO ME

Oh How I wish that I could fly down to mommy and tell her I'm ok.
Jesus through me and some other pups a big huge birthday bash today.

I want to tell her the cake was great and I got lots of treats and toys and that's right I play with toys now mommy.

To tell mommy that Grandpa and aunt Butterfly and aunt Luvbunny, pepsi, and Daphney and Bailey and Scrappy-dew and Scooby doo, Mudder Baby AKA Spice Girl and uncle Sneakers and the others in our family through me a private birthday bash too.

Right now I am partying with the whole crew up here in Heaven oh we are having so much fun.

OH wait listen mommy can you hear them?

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to our dearest hero Whitie
Happy Birthday to you.

For SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD PUPPY
FOR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD PUPPY
FOR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD PUPPY
WHICH NO BODY CAN DENY.
WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY
WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY
OOOOH WHITIES A JOLLY GOOD PUPPY
WHITIE'S A JOLLY GOOD PUPPY
WHITE MAMA'S A JOLLY GOOD PUPPY
WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY.

See mommy did you hear them?
I hope so. mommy please don't be sad today you're a mommy also it's your day
don't listen to your minister
that John guy was your name you don't have to give birth to be a mommy mommy cause you'll always be my mommy just the same.
And of course you have the others there to share it with you too.
so happy Mother's day mommy so please dont' cry for me.

Know that I love you no matter what and I'm having so much fun. And one day when we meet again we will celebrate our birthdays together once more.
For now just smile and stay positive and know that I am free I'm healthy and not in pain oh mommy it's glorious too.

Please mommy don't you cry and just remember it's your day too.

Well time to get back to the party mommy It's rude you know to leave but I had to write to you.

Happy Mother's day mommy and I love you very much.
Love always your daughter
Whitie Speciality Germiquet
AKA White Mama

The Butterfly

A beautiful poem shared in dogster in the groups by a dogster by a even beautiful friend.

The Butterfly

I'm giving you this butterfly
because of what it means;
the amazing thing
about butterflies
is the way
they get their wings;

See, butterflies start out
as very different things;
each one enduring hardships,
but to this hope
it clings;

One day it will become,
despite setbacks
from the start;
no longer a nothing creature~
but the love inside its heart;

If, by chance, you see one~
for that one brief moment pause,
and watch it floating by,
remembering this, because;

You too are like the butterfly,
having endured so many things,
making beauty out of heartache,
turning obstacles into wings;

You truly are a miracle
and I think that you should know~
It's not the things that happen,
but, how we learn to grow; because

In the end what makes us
beautiful and why~
is not the way we started,
but in how we learned to fly.

The Butterfly Poem© By R. Walsh

Memories.

It's been almost 3 months now since Whitie left me for a better place. A place Called Heaven where she is with Jesus and fellow family members and friends that went before her.

I miss her so much but I can still see her beautiful smile and her wagging her tail all the time. She was the best dog anyone could ever have.

She always told me hrs and hrs before Bon-Bon would go into a seizure. I was always on call for that. She always helped me through anxiety attacks and kept me from having them so severe by getting me outside seconds before one hit before I even knew one was going to hit.
When outside she always stuck by my side helping me to feel safe.

Yes she was the best dog anyone could ever ask for.

I remember her kisses and her trying to purr like a cat. Oh How Whitie was special to me. Her panting even I miss to the fullest.

I remember her posing for the camera every time and always sneaking into pictures if she realized I was taking a picture of her sisters and not her.

I remember her cuddling up with me at night on my bed and how she loved to wear her coat and boots in the winter time.

I remember how she always met me at the door when I went out. How she was so calm and quiet when I took her with me to the bank and then tied her up outside while I ran in to do things or even tying her up outside the dollar store even and she always waited patiently.

I remember how well behaved she was on her walks so well behaved that the video stores Both Mr Video and Movie Gallery allowed me to take her inside the store rental place when I went to rent a movie.

She was a special girl it is believed by both myself and my mom her nana that she was a therapy dog that had been retired to a new home where maybe then she took off and ran away in search of her old home because she missed working.
Because she worked her heart out for me and I didn't even ask her to she did it because she loved me so much and wanted to.

She trusted me to the fullest. Her love was unconditional. I couldn't have asked for a better girl. The 5 and a half yrs that I had with her were the best years of my life and hers too I am sure. She was a rescue but she knew with me she was safe. I still miss her so so much but I am know my baby girl is safe in Heaven and healthy and young again and able to run.

Thank-you My little Whitie Speciality Germiquet my daughter for giving me the best years I could have ever asked for and for becoming one of my teachers in life. I miss you and I love you always.

I feel I am now ready to get another dog of my own to adopt and love and bring into my family either a son or a daughter only time will tell but she or he will be adopted into my home in Whitie's name and they will not take my White Mama's place but they will become another daughter or a son and I will love them just the same. My Girl Whitie taught me how to move on through difficult times and I will love her and remember her for always.
Until we meet again in Heaven my sweet sweet Baby girl my white Mama fly high and have fun. I love you now and always
Love always
Mommy
Tara

and your sisters
Bon-Bon
Autumn
Terucan

Just picked up Bitz

Hello Everyone well you know that baby female Puppy Dayzee was telling everyone passed away? Well her name is Bitz and I just got permission to adopt her so I raced to Jesus to get the papers all sorted out then I raced fast to the nursery to pick her up and bring her to mine and my families home up here in Heaven.

So now as I tell mommy what to type for me in my diary Bitz is happily playing in the house she sure keeps me on the run.. Oops One second

*runs* "no Bitz don't you touch that get down you'll hurt yourself.." *turns to Grandpa and Tinkerbell Luvbunny and Butterfly and the others* "umm can you guys keep an eye on Bitz for a minute please? Thanks"

Ok I'm back sorry about that She sure is a puppy BOL. She keeps our family laughing she's here until the day her dog mommy and family come and greet her in heaven and then she will be reunited with them for sure and for certain.


Well she just loves to romp and roam tomorrow I have promised to take her on an exploring expedition here in Heaven since she has been stuck in the nursery since she got here not having a real home to go to and no one to take care of her well now she does so she can do all the good stuff and not just the nursery trips BOL..

Well I better get off because if I don't the others may get too frustrated BOL although Bitz' great aunts and aunts and uncles are just a loving her for good spoiling her too if you ask me oh gosh now look at that Grandpa is giving her cookies and pie and cake he'll spoil her dinner for sure ugh.. BOL oh well.. She deserves it ok off I go now.

Whitie Speciality Germiquet

Poems from http://www.doglistener.co.uk/humour/poems.shtml

Poems



The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak, and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done, for this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand, but don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest, your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years, you wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me, until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree, it is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved, from pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you, who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years, don't let your heart hold any tears.

-- Unknown

If Only

If only our dogs shared our lifespan

If only, they knew how it hurt

The pain the loss and the grieving,

The terrible effect they exert



If only our dogs felt our feelings

If only they spoke of their fear

If only if only if only

But just listen, and then you may hear

Stan Rawlinson 2006



Do I Go Back Home Today?

When my family first bought me to live within their home. They cuddled and they pampered me and groomed with brush and comb.

They played with me and laughed with me and showered me with toys. I sure do love my family, and all the tiny girls and boys.

The children loved to feed me; and give me special treats. They even let me sleep with them - all cosy in their sheets

I used to go for lovely walks, often several times a day. They even fought to hold my lead, I'm so very proud to say!

These are the things I'll not forget - a cherished memory. for now I'm in a shelter, bereft of family.

They used to laugh and praise me when I played with that old shoe. But I didn't know the difference between the old one and the new

The kids and I would grab a rag, and for hours we played tug. So I thought I did the right thing when I chewed that bedroom rug.

They said that I had lost control and would have to live outside. I didn't really understand this, though I really really tried!

The walks they stopped one by one; they said they had no time. I wish that I could change things; I wish I knew my crime.

My life became so lonely shackled to a metal chain. I barked and barked continually I thought I'd go insane.

So they took me to the shelter but were embarrassed to say why. So they said I'd caused an allergy, then said their last goodbye.

If only I'd had training, as a tiny little pup. I wouldn't have been so hard to live with, when I was all grown up.

You only have one day left", I heard the kennel man say. Does that mean I have a second chance? "Do I go back home today"?



When God Made....

When God had made the Earth and sky, The flowers and the trees,

He then made all the animals And all the birds and bees.

And when his work was finished, Not one was quite the same.

He said, 'I'll walk this earth of mine, And give each one a name,'

And so he travelled land and sea, And everywhere he went,

A little creature followed Him Until his strength was spent.

And when all were named upon the Earth, And in the sky and sea,

The little creature said,'Dear Lord, There's not one left for me!'

The Father smiled and softly said: 'I've left you till the end.

I've turned my own name back to front, And called you DOG, my friend.



In Memory

They will not go quietly, the dogs who have shared our lives. In subtle ways they let us know their spirit still survives.

Old habits still make us think we hear them at the door. Or step back when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor.

Our feet still go around the place the food dish used to be, And sometimes, coming home at night we miss them terribly.

And although time may bring new friends and a new food dish to fill, That one place in our hearts belongs to them...and always will.



I Stood By Your Bed

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep

I whined to you softly As you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, Your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care. I want to re-assure you, That I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, As you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me"

You looked so very tired, And sank into a chair, I tried so hard to let you know, That I was standing there.

It's possible for me, To be so near you every day. To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, Then smiled, I think you knew… In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

An when the time is right for you, To cross the brief divide, I'll rush across to greet you, And we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, There is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out…

Then come home to be with me.

The Dogs Party

The dogs all had a party They came from near and far. Some dogs came by taxi And others came by car.

Each dog signed his name upon a special book And each dog hung his backside upon a special hook.

One dog was not invited, And this aroused his ire. He stormed into the party And loudly shouted "FIRE!"

And in the chaos that followed, The dogs forgot to look And grabbed just any backside From off of any hook.

So that is the real reason. whenever they meet or roam, They sniff each others' backside, To try and find their own!

To my dearest mommy

Dear Mommy,

Guess what? Bear dog and I go to the stream sometimes with a few other friends to catch some frogs but don't worry mommy we never hurt them only play with them and the frogs like the game too.
And we play frizbee in the park too. That's right we have all that up here in Heaven and all. I do play with the toys and stuff now too with the other dogs like tug of war and all.

Oh don't you worry so hard about me mommy I love you still so very much I'm waiting for you I really am.. Grandpa is a joy and so is Ranger. Aunty Luvbunny and Aunty Tinkerbell and Aunty Butterfly just love me so much and Butterfly was happy to see me again I told Luvbunny her sister my sister Bon-Bon is doing just fine.

I'm going to Tiffy and Bear Dog's house for dinner tomorrow night they are engaged to be married.

Oh mommy don't cry pls pls don't cry but know I am here in Heaven and I am safe and young and healthy and happy. I know you are hurting mommy but please don't blame yourself..

It wasn't your fault I got sick and you had to let me go in fact I am happy you did let me go really I am. Everyone helped me when I came here and told me what happened.

I know you keep questioning yourself and the what ifs over and over but please mommy stop you are just hurting yourself more.. I dont' like to see you cry pls mommy hold on tight to the good memories and dont' question what you did pls?

I love you mommy I'll always love you and I'll be right here to meet you when your time comes. AS I will be here for Bon-Bon or any of my sisters when their time comes.

I know Jed is a great pup I'm glad you took him in as a foster I pray he can get over the separation anxiety then you can keep him too. Then I'll have a brother to take care of too.

Oh mommy pls pls don't cry. I'm ok don't you see? I'm watching over you and my sisters and Jethro too so mommy pls hold onto my good memories and know no matter what I will always love you and my sisters too I'll always love you mommy now and always same as you will always love me..

Love always Whitie Speciality Germiquet
Your very special daughter

A song I used to sing to Whitie

This is a song I used to sing to Whitie at night not every night but some nights some nights I just sang a song not made up. I better write it down though before I forget it.. My sweet precious baby may she always remember me and know I love her now and always




My precious baby girl
I'm here no need to fret.
Let those nightmares go.
And see the good ones yet.

Know I'm here and Know I care.
I love you Whitie always more every year.
So close your eyes now pls relax
No more fears for mommy's here.

Peace be with you now my girl
good dreams I place on you.
Know that you are safe inside
And I've tucked you in and now your fine...

Whitie girl my precious girl. Love you now and always still.
Close those eyes and when you wake you'll see me there beside you.
Oh baby girl goodnight goodnight oh baby girl goodnight goodnight
Close your eyes goodnight goodnight close your eyes goodnight goodnight.

See you in the morning my girl...


Lyrics written By Mommy Tara Germiquet