I've Gone To Heaven

Today, Mommy and Daddy let me go to heaven. I haven't been doing too well. Mommy thought she would have to let me go in January but she couldn't bear it so with some steriods and antibotics I was able to get almost 5 more months of doing what I did best - eat, sleep, and try to boss everybody around.

Mommy let me eat whatever I wanted two times a day...gone was the dry food, instead, I got chicken, steak, and canned food mixed with nice and tasty soft dry food (and Frankie couldn't have any of it thrrrppppptttt to her ha! ha!). Mommy carried me up and down the stairs because I couldn't quite do it anymore.

I had a tumor, too, and the doctor warned that it might burst. Well it did. Mommy tried cleaning and packing the wound everyday but she knew it was too late. And because I had 15 glorious years, Mommy decided she wasn't going to make me suffer with heroic measures.

This weekend when I couldn't even stand to do my business, she knew it was time. She gave me a bath and wrapped me up in a nice warm towel and let me sit in the sun. Then she emailed the doctor and said it was time. When mommy came home, I had rallied round!

When mommy took me to the doctor she hesitated but she knew I would have some good days and bad days and then it would be more bad days than good ones. She knew when I had bad ones, I had trouble standing, I was confused, and I would get a little agitated (but I never stopped wanting to eat!!!!!). The doctor told her she was making the right decision.

The doctor gave me a shot that made me really sleepy. I stumbled and then lay down and relaxed. I snorted and snored some, but my eyes were still open. Mommy and daddy were crying and stroking me. Mommy whispered that it was time to transition (she's so Zen...Namaste!).

The doctor came in and warned them. She said she would give me some anesthesia that I wouldn't wake up from, but she warned mommy and daddy that I might jerk, even howl, and soil myself. It could be distressing. Mommy and daddy decided they didn't want to see something that would make them think I was suffering.

My ashes are going to be spread in a garden with other little doggies and cats. Mommy and daddy both cried all the way home and mommy sobbed downstairs by herself. Daddy got out pictures and boy was I one cute puggy. Mommy and daddy had taken a lot of pictures of me. There I am in my biker leather for Halloween! And there I am with Santa with my red sweater. And here's a picture of me with Miss Piggie which I may or may not have buried in the backyard (hmmmm?). And there I am having a birthday party. Oh no! There is that stupid Frankie, but I have to say she was pretty darn cute, too, but not as cute as me because mommy loves Puggies the best!!!

Mommy always says she knows she has to hold those that go to heaven before her in her heart. Mommy is holding me there until she can see me again. She hopes I come to her in her dreams. Last week Cujo the cat (she just hated me...I don't know why...maybe because she was first and I invaded her space like Frankie did mine?) visited her last week and Cujo went to heaven a long time ago after 18 years.

Well mommy said that she and I had a good run together for 15 years. Mommy has a good visual memory and can conjure me up whenever she wants to see me. Mommy hopes that she'll come across something and smell me or something. Maybe one of my baby dolls.

Anyway, I'll be waiting for her....and that stupid Frankie, too.

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