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Coco's Crispy Considerations

Life is Good and Fluffy Again

Okay. So. If you don't know me, shame on you. If you do know me, shame on...wait...that's a different quote I'm thinking of. Never mind.

I'm Coco. I have four beds. I weigh a lot. People sometimes call me "Chubs." Oddly, they also call me "Coke." Hunh. I got mauled by a pit bull once. It sucked. My legs suck now, too. Thanks a ton, Justice. My collar is pink. It's a prissy color. Let's see...I don't love cats. They run faster than me and the one I've met is annoyingly bright and white and fuzzy. His nickname rhymes with fuzzy - it's "Scwuzzy." What a girl.

Now that I've treated you to fragments about my life, let's dig in to some more "about me"-ness. My owner, Ralph, died, which really, really sucks. My other one left me for a few months to stay with her family and stuff. Jacqueline and Rudy got to watch me, which wasn't so bad, but their dogs suck. Life sucks. I got into angst after Ralph died. Could you tell? Don't worry, I can still crack jokes with the best of 'em - look: A man walked into a bar - ouch. Ha, ha, ha. Get it? Like, like, a BAR, not a "bar." I know you get it.

Justice is my least favorite dog ever. My most favorite dog ever is - was? - Shadow. He died. That sucked. Bludo became my new favorite dog. He finds me annoying. I have opinions about Skippy, but they're rude. Scrubs isn't even a dog, so he sucks.

Everything sucks.

This week was kind of fun, though. I spent it with one of my favorite people and her family. I got to chase cats and slide down stairs on my stomach. I got to be yelled at for sticking my dripping nose where it should never go. I got to go outside in the freezing cold. I swear, it frosted on my face. I'm not even kidding you. Really.

Y'know what sucks? Other than life, I mean. Cheese. It's so innocently cheesy, but when you devour it, it kills your sense of smell. Ugh.

Y'know what else sucks? Everyone finds me so mindlessly cheery, but I like to get a good angst out every once in a while, and then life is just happyhappyhappy -

I like cheese. It's all cheese-er-ific. Bludo's cool. He has fur. I have fur, too. Skippy has fur, but it's not as cool as mine. Scrubs has fur, but it smells like cat. Y'know what else smells like cat? Cats. Cats rock. You can chase them, and bark at them, and chew their fur. They swat you in the face sometimes - isn't that just awesome?

Life is good and fluffy again.