Dogster

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A Day in the Life of a Part-time Show Dog

Entry 1

I don't see why my human deems it necessary to do half of the things she does to me, but that doesn't stop her from doing it.

Yesterday she used some horrid tool on my nails. She called a dremel....it still didn't help the fact that I didn't like it. It spun and made a high pitched noise and it made my paw vibrate uncomfortably. So I bit it. Not one of my smartest decisions, since it was still spinning and hurt the roof of my mouth. I let go, letting out a yelp and watched in amazment as my human controlled the spinning thing with ease and grace as she dremeled the rest of my nails.

Then there was the bath. Today she found it absolutely necessary to stick me in a tub of lukewarm water and lather me up with some frou-frou strawberry stenched shampoo...not only did it smell horrendous and offending, the taste left much to be desired. After my human finished rinsing me off she placed me on the counter in front of the bathroom mirror. I gawked at some soppy looking rat dog and growled a warning, telling it to leave my territory. My human laughed at me and told me to stop growling at my reflection. I whimpered and started shaking a bit. Surely that skinny, underfed, and pathetic looking dog wasn't me.

But it was, and as I was realizing this, my human brought out yet another annoying contraption. The hair dryer....no matter where I go to hide from it, my human always..ALWAYS...picks me up a places me right infront of the evil, warm air blowing menace. I squirmed and wriggled and did everything I could to get away, but my human just as easily picked me up, repositioned me, and told me to 'knock it off.'

She is not all bad, my human. She does know about food. Right now I am munching on some excellent raw rabbit and anchovey kibble. Maybe I will allow her to cuddle with me tonight.

-Hero