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Dearest readers, before reading this take a deep breath, relax, and prepare yourself for today's headline. Extra, extra, read all about it snack-stealing hound-o-hell caught! Globe breaths sigh of relief. Dearest reader, my sister the nonhumanoid ogre was caught stealing my treat today. The criminal was caught and apprehended at noon today. Upon interrogation she barked and drooled while wagging her tail. After several drooling minutes of this she barked out her confession. Paw prints were taken along with a mug shot. The criminal was made to do a sit and stay for 5 minutes, and of course I sat by laughing the whole time =). Roover and out, woof..woof!
Dearest readers, this reporter is flying high on the wings of love and gratitude. After, my brief brush of bondage dispensed by the malevolent and malicious dogsitter that mom entrusted my care to for a few days, I am very aware of how much I love and appreciate the numero uno mommy! Rather than go over all the grusome details of my imprisonment, I will share with you some of my top reasons why life with the mom and dad are gratifying. The first reason is carte blanch. I have carte blanch to walk anywhere I want to in the house. If I am sitting upstairs and hear a bizarre bang, boom, buzz, or bark sound downstairs, I am free to run below to investigate. The second reason why life with the mom and dad is gratifying is when my bladder is full all I have to do is alert the rents to this fact, and they will let me outdoors, as many times as needed. The third reason is all the delectable mouthwatering treats and food they give me to eat. Also, all the water I want. The fourth reason is all the love, attention, and devotion they give away. The final reason is belly rubs. Before mom drifts into sleep at night all I have to do is jump on the bed present her with my rounded belly, and oh yah...the belly rub begins. For these reasons I heart the mom and dad! =)
Roover and out...woof,woof!
Dearest readers, yesterday I was just laying around the house. As, I was laying down in one of my favorite spots I noticed an old stuffed bunny of mine. At the time, I was feeling hungry. I thought hmm...should I eat this? It's not food, but it's not antifood, either....and it has certain food like properties. So, I got up, and sniffed the stuffed bunny. I touched it with my paw. I walked a circle around it. Then I decided I was definitely going to eat the stuffed bunny. I finally had the seams torn on the bunny, I had chewed my way to the soft fluffy white inside of the stuffed bunny. I was salivating heavily in anticipation of a meal. Then I heard vroom...vroom....vroom. Next, the big sucking machine wizzed towards me and my hard earned meal. The mommy leaned over, and picked up the shell of the bunny. I could hardly believe my eyes dear readers, as the sucking machine sucked up my not antifood. I barked and leaped at the machine. I latched onto it with my teeth, but there was nothing I could do. Once again that monster, I think the humans call it a vaccuum, had ruined what could of been a nice afternoon. Well after the fact, I hunted that machine down. I found it under the stairs in the basement. I leaped onto the machine. And I bit it! I bit that sucking machine, sooo hard it brought tears to my eyes. Finally I looked at that machine,and I barked out God, as my witness I will never allow you to interfere with a meal of mine again. I pumped my paw into the air, then bit the machine again. Lastly, I lifted my back leg up and urinated on it. I usually am a squatter, but I made an exception!! Roover and out...woof, woof!
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