The Great Injustice

So the other day my parents were driving me insane… bicker bicker bicker... snap snap snap…

I tried bringing them my Tug rope. EVERY dispute in life can be solved by Tug. As a dog I am aware of the greater workings of the world and I try to hard to teach Mom, but she NEVER gets it. Instead of a cleansing round of Tug I got the “NOT NOW BEAR!”

Well I have never been so offended in my life! Shoot a dog for caring why don’t you?

I tried flopping, in high dramatic fashion, down on my bed and whining pathetically while lying flat out on my side… did they rush to my aid to see what was happening??? NO! Did they even care that I could have been under great duress?! NO! All I got was “Bear! SHUSH”

No loving strokes, no caring scratches… not even a COOKIE….just “SHUSH”. That was it! I was done trying to help them attain great inner peace with a round of Tug. Human WOMEN! I don’t get them at all!

And do you want to know what they were snapping about?

Cabinet organization!

Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous in your entire life? There are dogs in shelters all over the country, minutes from euthanasia and all Mom cared about was what position the Tupperware was in?! What is wrong with you people? Go get a stuffed toy and rip it apart…much better use of time and aggression!

By the time they made up and went out to dinner I decided that the only way I could guarantee peace tomorrow was to take care of the situation myself…. And as soon as I opened the cabinet under the sink I could see their issue! Who it the heck needed all those boxes and bottles??? I got right to work….

GOD it was such a grueling undertaking…. I had to strip the cardboard from around the contents…. And then put all those plastic bags, garbage bags, zip-locs, and Tupperware in piles about the kitchen so I could have some room to work on those bottles. I was just about finished with taking all the Palmolive and Brasso out when they were back!

I was so sure they’d be thrilled with how very helpful I was… I am after all a German Shepherd and that is what we do best!! Work hard to help our families! I bounded off to greet them… and….

OH MY GOD. I can never walk outside again! I can’t. OH for the humiliation. Lucky was sure to have heard everything through the fence and I bet he told Mickey and his brother… and you know Maltese’s… they tell EVERYBODY everything!

I would not make a nice rug by the fireplace! I would not make a nice warm hat and gloves! I’m already neutered! You’d be BORED with a cat! MOM YOU DO NOT WANT TO TRADE ME IN FOR A BASSET HOUND!!

And making me work an hour indoors with that stupid obedience is just MEAN. And threatening me with a long walk even if it is -1 outside is WRONG.

I WAS HELPING! It isn’t my fault you came back before I finished! I demand a fair trial before being incarcerated by a crate! I AM THE INJURED PARTY HERE!

Injustice knows no bounds.

In protest,
Bear

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