Dogster

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It's not easy acting dumb.

I was a bad boy today. 9-20-04

Today I lost it. I broke the cardinal rule of human dog relations. I bit the hand that feeds me. I don't know why I did, it just happened. Now I have been grounded to my crate without the slice of cheese or biscuit I usually get for going in here. All I have is my Snoopy laptop to keep me company.
There was some kids outside making alot of noise and I was barking cause I wanted to play with them and the human yelled at me to stop so I hid under the bed. The new kitten followed me and was trying to nurse on me which I don't like cause it undermines my masculinity, so that irriatated me even more. I heard the human telling me to go in my crate but I was pouting and didn't want to go. She looked under the bed and slapped the carpet which startled me and I went into attack mode. Next thing I know I am in my crate by myself. I just blacked out. The human was crying and I thought I bit her, but I guess I just hurt her feelings and scared her. Now she says I need obediance school. I am just ashamed and embarassed. The cat, Maxx, is standing outside the crate smirking at me. I am going to have to do some major sucking up now. I guess I can't pee on the carpet for a while. I might even have to do that "sit" thing she has been talking about.
It is sad what I have been reduced to do to make things right again.
-Odie

9-12-04

The Human slept in late today. I decided, as usual, not to wait to be let out to pee. I went on the carpet. The Human has been talking about getting me something called a diaper. I don't know what that is but it doesn't sound good. She says I am the kind of dog that has to ride the short bus to school, but she does it while petting me so it might be a compliment. Little does she know that I know I am not supposed to go in the house, bark at people, eat socks, and tear up the cat toys. I just do it cause it makes life more interesting, and it makes them think I am not that smart so they don't expect me to "sit" and "shake" and all that other humiliating stuff other dogs do.
She got me a new play toy. She calls it a kitten. I call it a chew toy. I am able to slobber all over it as much as I want without it kicking my butt like the cat she calls "Maxx". It seems to like my crate, which is fine by me. That way I don't have to go in there. I think I could get used to this whole cats and dogs being friends idea.

Time to tear something up.
-The "Odemeister"