This place is getting crowded

They've invited this new girl to live at our house and she's been sitting in all my favorite places and playing with all my favorite toys. This is starting to get on my nerves.

Tonight I finally had it. She took a toy I really liked away from me and I blew up and gave her a piece of my mind. I usually don't like to waste my energy, but she was pushing my buttons.

There are a few things about her I don't mind. She appreciates a good roll in stinky stuff and has picked up the fine skill of eating dirt. She also has some good hunting skills. Now, Satch and I have a third in the hunt for a good rabbit. She's got a good nose.

If only she'd get off the couch or move over so I could sit there too.

It's my birthday and I'll aroo if I want to

Happy Birthday to me! I'm six years old and I am having a great day because today, I am the center of attention. I wouldn't even give up the toy I got when Satchy tried to take it from me. OK, it resulted in a big pulling match and the new toy broke in half, but it was worth it to show him I'm not a baby anymore. Plus, I think there may be cake in my future. Hooray!!

The Vet

I'm not like Satchel. I hate going to the vet. And, wouldn't you know it, they made me go there this week just because I grew a bump on my snout. Aunt Sue took me because my moms were at work.

The doctor has a hang up about weight and said I was overweight and needed to be put on a diet. well, I thought she was too thin - so there!

Then, she said I needed to have an operation to have the bump taken off. Oh woe is me! I know this is going to hurt. I know they'll never let me get out of this! - even if I shake and act pathetic, she's going to make me have surgery. Next Tuesday I will accept all sick presents. Food would be best because I am being starved to death - such small servings now.

All this misery just because of that skinny doctor! I will turn my head next time I see her and will not give her a kiss at all!

What I did this Summer

I had lots of fun this summer.

The first thing I do everyday is look for a nest of little bunny squeak toys in my backyard. We had one last year and I just loved it. Mom set up all these barricades she thought would protect those interlopers but she underestimated the great and powerful Mort. Now she says that all the bunnies in the neighborhood know to stay away from our backyard. I don't believe her and look everyday anyhow.

After I check out the backyard, Satchie and I take sun baths on the deck or sleep a while on the couch. Then, its time for play. We run around and throw cushions off the couch. I select toys to drag outside and find very special places for them all over the lawn.

In the afternoon, we generally go to the dog park with Aunt Sue and Charlie. I like the people at the park. They pet me and rub my belly. When Aunt Sue tells me to come with her for a walk, I try to pretend I don't hear her. That's unnecessary exercise and I am against it! Unfortunately, she often makes me go regardless.

When Mom comes home, we get our bowls of food and have snuggle time. Then, they eat and I wait patiently under the table, never losing focus (like Satch), willing them to give me some. During the summer they cook outside alot and, sometimes, food falls on the deck -like manna from heaven. Sometimes I have to bark , ahroo, or jump a little to get their attention but, I generally fare pretty well.

The we play some more, take a walk (damn Satchel! he keeps asking for walks and Mom insists on me coming too) and play some more. I lag back and make her drag me as much as possible because I am trying to convince her not to take me along.

In conclusion, it bums me out that fall is upon us and winter will come soon. I hate snow sticking to my legs and arms and getting between my toes. Maybe, fall will last a long time and we won't get much snow this year. I can hope; even though it hasn't happened so far in my life, even though we live in Minnesota. I heard it happened once.

The terrible, awful, very bad haircut!

For a few months now, there have been passing comments made about the state of my 'do'. Mom kept complaining about how matted I was and tried to brush me. I managed to elude her by hiding under the furniture every time she went for the comb .
But last weekend, my winning streak ended. My Aunt Lori came over with the dreaded clippers and she and my mom went at me with a vengence. They said they had to do it because I was matted but I think they must have been working out their hidden aggressions. Boy, I am a mess. I mean, my inner beauty and sparkling personality shines through but my physical beauty is but a memory. I go to bed every night wishing my hair will grow.

My Kidnapping

It was the middle of the winter and my owners were trying to sell our town house so we could move to a house with a yard for me and my brother. On the day in question someone was going to come see the house so I was staying with my Aunt Sue while my owners were at work. She's got the best ravine to play in right outside her back door. I loved to go down there with my brother and our friend Charlie. I usually spend more time than the other guys do sniffing and walking around down there visiting all my friends and trying to find dead things to roll in. Per usual, Satch and Charlie decided to go up out of the ravine towards home way before I was ready so they left me to do my own thing. I expected to follow them in 30 minutes or an hour. I knew Aunt Sue would know that I'd come home when I was ready and wouldn't worry too much about me. As I was sniffing around I came upon some children who must have also enjoyed playing in the ravine. They took one look at me and decided they needed a dog. So, even though I had a collar with all sorts of identification on it, they picked me up and took me to their home, which was clear on the opposite side of the ravine from where Aunt Sue and I lived. Before I knew it, I was being tortured. They brushed me so hard that they took all my beautiful matts out of my hair. Then, as if that wasn't enough, they stuck me in the bath tub and washed me. It was awful! I had worked so hard to cover myself in the fragrance of dead animals and rotten stuff and they just washed it off me. Even though they gave me some food, it didn't make up for the indignity of it all. After I was dried, they tried to play with me. I wasn't going to fall for that. I've got standards and I certainly wasn't going to play with people I didn't know, who had just treated me in such an inhumane manner. So, I did what I usually do under unpleasant circumstances, I pulled a sit down strike. When the kids couldn't get me to move, they put a leash on me and dragged me around their house. It was miserable!! Thank goodness, the little brats' owner (they called her "mom") arrived home soon after they began dragging me around. The kids greeted her and begged her to let them keep me, but she saw all my tags and knew that I was probably being missed at home. She called my house to tell my owners where I was, but they must have been out looking for me cause they didn't answer the phone and she had to leave a message for them. I was dissappointed since that meant I had to endure those children longer. The minutes I spent there seemed like hours. Finally, my owners called and came to get me. I was so glad to see them, I let them kiss me and hug me a lot longer than I usually do. I haven't been in the ravine since then - it just doesn't feel safe anymore.