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Chief Executive - Scooter Squarepants.

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It Gets Worser and Worser.

March 8th 2013 8:09 pm
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Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Last time I was on here I told you how down in the dumps I had been feeling. How I had to get a butt squeeze and a buzzed butt from the V-E-T. Who I am telling you right now if I saw him at a dog park I would run away as fast as I could. In fact I think he should be locked up because of how he violates my body poking me and stuffing things in me every time I am at his office. But I digress.

I was still not feeling good on Tuesday, but Mom thought I was just sulking from the previous nights violation. No Mom, I don't feel good. I wouldn't even sniff chiggen or look at water.

Which was apparent the next morning when Mom picked me up out of bed (I like sleeping in longer than can be allowed before she leaves for "work") and I screamed. Mom panicked and called the nice lady at the front desk of the V-E-T and instead of heading back to comfy bed for a day long nap I was out the door with Mom. The word "enema" was used a couple times and let me tell you, my world would have been less traumatized had I never experienced my first one a couple years ago.

Mom did a drop and go - which is not what a dog would think it is. She just dumped me at the V-E-T and strolled out the door headed to "work".

I spent the day at the V-E-T having my blood drawn, an update on my distemper - and dis dogs temper *badabing* - eating 2 cans of dog food (I didn't know it came in the uncrunchy version when Santa Paws wasn't around), being spoiled and told how cute I am, and best of all no butt flush.

Last night I still was under the weather and again this morning when Mom picked me up I yelped. Of course she called the V-E-T and lucky an appointment at 9 was open w/ Dr.B and she took it. Thinking we would just go down and have Dr.B just assure Mom everything was ok, this was not how the day turned out. Pretty much it sucked.

First I was nuked with xrays, which gave the news that I have a herniated disc.

Then somebody in a mask leaned over me and told me to count SNACKS I'd like to eat. I got to 3 paws and the next thing I knew I woke up and my mouth felt really different.

8 teeth less different! All my top front teeth - gone. A side top tooth - gone. I have fresh breath and shiny polished teeth, those that remain.

Good news is as follows:
*the surgery was later in the day so I was still a bit woozy on my feet
when we got home.
*Mom got antibiotics and pain pill messed up so I see double rainbows dude!
*I get canned food with gravy and none of the other dogs do until my teeth feel better.
*Mom brings me water in a special ceramic cup to drink out of.
*I barked at the garage kitteh and I still sound the same. BOL!

Well I'm feeling a bit droozy and am going to ask Mom for a lift up to the couch.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


I Got NO Yip in My Giddyup!

March 4th 2013 7:27 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

I couldn't even drag myself this far and had to have Mom carry me out of bed and out to the front room. To put it succinctly - I felt horrible. My nose was warm and my tummy was making rumbly noises and was super tight like a bloated water balloon.

Saturday was by far the worst day because nothing made my ears even prick up. Not SQUIRREL. Not CROW. Not SNACK™. Not even CAR RIDE!! I just gazed listlessly at Mom and slept all day long. I didn't even want any chicken stock ice cubes Mom has in the freezer. No water, no food, no cheese - nothing.

Mom took a snuggle nap with me after she made me go outside where I only ate grass. I couldn't even lift my leg for privacy please - just did the young puppy stance.

We'd already missed the window for the V-E-T open on Saturday. Since there was no urka gurkas for hours on end and just a dog with a bloated belly from needing his butt squeezed no emergency V-E-T.

Mom took me out on a WALK hoping to move some stuff through me. All it did was make me move like a hunched up constipated dog. Finally I just stopped and Mom carried me back to the house. Right as she put me down at the driveway I walked over to the dirt and took care of some serious business. My tail was still not wagging, but I did allow Mom to bring me cold water in the tiny 1/4 C measuring thing and hand feed me some kibble.

Sunday was ok - I still just laid around looking miserable. I did have Mom fluff the pillows and blanket for me. She doesn't do that great of a job making them neat and even so I helped her fix it by rearranging it to my liking.

This morning we were up "bright and early" words I really cannot grasp the concept of. Next thing I knew I was headed out the door with Mom. Since she'd done all her scrubbing and dressing in the "no-dog-hair-please-clothes" and smelling like she will be going to work, I figured I'd be going to work with Mom.

Nope - she snuck me into the V-E-T and my butt was violated. My rear was buzzed, splashed with some stuff that only a baby wold like to smell like - something Mom called "baby powder". Then she just drove me home and left for "work".

I've at least eaten some food today and am jumping up on the couch myself. I'm sure I'm at least up to some MEATZ™. Sure wish Mom looked like she was making some of that instead of that lettuce stuff.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


First There Were the Crows. Then came the Seagulls.

February 16th 2013 7:35 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

As you all know, CROWS send me into a BARKING FRENZY to the ire of Mom.

Then came the SEAGULLS last weekend.

This afternoon after the Rainapaloza DUCKS landed in the backyard to splash in the pond that appeared in the backyard.

What is this yard of mine becoming?

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


It Was a Murder!

February 13th 2013 10:00 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Hey Everypup ~Scooter here~

This is the scary time of the year. Just about 5:30 a "murder of crows" flocks through the neighborhood. They stop off on the trees around the yard and the street light. Cawing and flying around in the gamillions. I think if I had Spiderman's number he could come out and wipe the whole flock of hoodlums out with one cast of his Spidyweb.

Since I don't have that, I'll just keep up me regime of barking.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


First There Were the Crows.

February 12th 2013 1:11 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Now Seagulls have started hanging out in the backyard. I am about to explode!!

Dang BIRDS!!!

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


Things Humans Should Not Do By Themselves. *Edited with- suggestions*

February 6th 2013 7:39 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

I've been making a list of things I think that humans should always have a dog escort to accomplish. Of course except for that WORK thing, dogs should be involved in all things humans do. Well BATHS too, we don't need any of that either. Here we go in no particular order. Shout out some suggestions if you feel I've missed any.

1. They should never sit on the couch by themselves. Especially and do nothing but watch TV. Get those hands busy and have them give belly rubs and ear skritches.

2. Fix food or eat. They are slobs and need us to help them keep the house clean.

3. Road Trips - nuff said.

4. Neighborhood WALKS.

5. Go out to the backyard and do any sort of yardwork, sit in the sun, escape from dogs, look for piece and quiet, read, or any other thing where we are left inside just staring out the window about ready to die of neglect.

6. Take a nap alone.

7. Talk on the phone thinking they can ignore us. You can walk and talk, you can talk and scratch.

8. Play on the computer and expect us to think you are "busy".

9. Sleep on the bed with no dogs surrounding them.

Well that's a start for now.

*Edited with suggestions*

Whitley, seriously, BATHS? Do you not read dog entries on these pages? Just look at poor Z-pup a month ago after his water torture in the bowels of the basement. Why look at him now wearing matching fancy kilts and hats and stuff. Next thing you know he will have those sock holder up things on. Oh wait, you'd be all into that wouldn't you. BOL. Still no BATHS on this list.

10. If you enter a room, dogs should also enter the room...if they want.

11. I agree w/ Coco Rose. Temperature taking and Butt Squeezing should be mano y pawo. Whimper Si™!!

12. Security Alert and Pizza Delivery Timing. To the doorbell ring timing, we have it. Practice rounds a bonus.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


Take a Stroll With Me...

January 30th 2013 8:46 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Last Sunday the day after my butt squeeze from the EVIL V-E-T, Mom snuck me and Misty out of the house. I didn't want to go out since the horrors were still fresh. Except when she grabbed Misty off the bed, I thought I should at least go along since this usually means a visit to MzLouann's.

Except.....all she did was drive down to the bottom of our hill, only 5 houses down and parked the car across the street. I'd only just started my plea to sit on her lap so this really confused me. Mom snapped on our leashes and grabbed her phone, then opened the door.

We walked up the hill past the school and on the big road on top of the big hill if it is r-e-a-a-a-l-l-l-y clear you can see 3 very important mountain ranges in the Pacific Northwest. To the east you look at the Olympic mountains with the snow fresh from all the storms that have visited. Look to the west from the same spot and the Cascade mountains lead the first big range you face before you head east to the other side of the world. BOL.

On a perfect day you can see Mt. Ranier from the hilltop. When Mom sees it she says she's always amazed at how far away you can see that mountain on a clear day. What Seattlites call the "mountain being out". BOL.

If you walk just down that way towards the Olympic mountains and look off to your left you can see those really tall buildings in Seattle across Lake Washington. Mom says it's probably the equivalent of 1/2 a sled dog days worth of a ride. BOL.

Then we walked toward the Cascade mountains and visited the morning drive and go coffee shop and walked back in a round about way back to the car. Mom started it up and drove back up into the garage. Said it was the only way we could sneak out and not have the other 2 angry mad the whole time we were gone. BOL. However it needs to work, I'm up for more sneaky early morning walks.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


Not Me Stopped by and Lingered.

January 26th 2013 4:10 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Today started out horrible. First Mom got me out of bed early on the weekend. It was only 10 a.m.!! Then she tossed me outside in the rain like I was a pile of dirt she'd swept up from the kitchen. I knew what was coming up next so when Mom asked if I wanted to go for a car ride I ran under the coffee table. NO! I don't want to go for a car ride to the EVIL V-E-T!!

The thing is, I'm not bigger than Mom so she just reaches under there and hauls me out and off we go. They were running a little late at the V-E-T place so I had to sit in fear waiting for the lady to come get me. I keep telling Mom about the horrible things that happen around that corner, but I think she thinks all they do is put me on the scale and weigh me. They don't, let me tell you. They violate my butt, and I'm uncomfortable with this topic so let's move on.

Mom took me across the street to the really expensive pet store. Expensive because they are the only one in about a 15 mile radius. Mom let me pick out my own SNACK so I headed towards the MEATZ™ section and finally chose the smoked pig ear over the plain ol' pig snout. So Mom got 4 of those and we headed home.

Before you knew it, she turned around and went right back out the door. She went to 2 grocery stores and some silly arts and crafts store. So glad I didn't have to hang out for that horror.

Mom said as soon as she came in the house and got to the front room she knew Not Me had stopped by. She knew it was Pepper from the amazing distribution and coverage of the only carpet in the room. After Mom cleaned it up and was putting groceries away she kept smelling Not Me evidence. She found something she had missed, but the odor still lingered.

Later when Mom was watering the plants in the front room she discovered that Not Me had backed right up to the Ficus tree planter and left a little reminder on the edge of the pot.

Well I'm off to lay on top of the pile of pillows on the couch. The best spot to keep my eyes on the door to the garage and a view of the backyard.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


Scavengers and Vultures.

January 25th 2013 6:49 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Still those land sharks and bottom feeders Cutter and Pepper are skulking around just waiting for me to move away from my SNACK. They've snarfed up at least their body weight in SNACKS tonight and they are still gunning for mine.

Sure enough as I decided to head to the food bowl for dinner both of them bolted to my spot on the couch. Bully on them, I ate my SNACK this time. BOL.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~


The Audacity.

January 23rd 2013 11:46 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~ Scooter here~

This morning I almost levitated with anger. An EVIL CROW landed right on my deck and strutted across it like he was channeling his inner reggae mon. I was on full alert BARK mode but nothing fazed that monster.

Finally Mom opened the door and told it off. I wanted out there so bad and was so disgusted Mom didn't let me out that I chose to ignore her as she left for work.

Sure she wiped the angry dog spittle off my whiskers and gave me a kiss, but I chose to keep my eyes averted from "Mom's" cuteness and kept vigilance for EVILNESS in the sky.

Nose quivering anger still if you remind me of a CROW!!!


Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

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