Evil Comes in all Shapes and Sizes,

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Evil has been hanging around our place this weekend. When it gets cold outside, Evil visits more often.

First off, those EVIL CROWS keep swooping around and acting like derelicts on our roof and tree limbs.

Secondly the EVIL NEMESIS SQUIRRELS appear to be in cahoots with the birds because every time we barked them out of the yard those rats w/ fluffy tails would scurry along the fence. Rat Bast****(bleep)!!!!

Lastly - it has been so dang blasted cold outside there is not much worth going out for. Good thing Mom has a fire going. Gives us something to meditate upon.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Resolutions, Schemsolutions.

Hey Everypup ~Scoooter here~

I had no intention, therefore no r'solutions would have been expected.

1. I still bark at everything. Even if I'm being looked at directly in the eyes being told not to.

2. Bed is very comfy. Lift me up on demand at any time of the day you are present. Otherwise the couch will do. Don't expect it to be any different.

3. No I will not sleep any other direction than I do. I don't ask you to turn around so your "butt" isn't in my face.

4. The "brown" hair on the carpet is mine. The "white" hair on your clothes is Misty's. Yes we plan it that way.

5. Announcing the neighbours arrival shall be done from all 4 corners of the house. We are the #1 in Bark Alarm Notification.

6. I do not stink! You do Mom, taking those showers or baths every day. Makes me want to go roll in a slug or duck poop to even the keel. BOL.

7. Crows are still EVIL. More so than the Seagulls, but I still want to go all "Neighbourhood Watch" on them sound the Bark Alarm.

8. EVIL NEMESIS SQUIRRELS have not been eradicated fully, but they now keep to the fences and trees as they should.

9. Still spoiled, but I am the cutest so it's more of a training issue with "Mom" if you ask me. So don't ask me at all. BOL.

10. Things are always better after a nap.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Happy New Year Everypup! Please embrace rule #10

Not Worried Bout No List.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Hey Santa Paws, long time no bark. 360 days to be exact, and that's almost 7 years to a dog. You should stop by more often and not be such a stranger. BOL.

Just to make sure since it's been so long, you still want a 47 ingredient healthy juicified shot glass to go with just a veggie burger patty. You'll have been to Ireland, Canada, the east coast and then zig zagging over to to us on the west coast (via Idanno) in Seattle. Not sayin' anything, but you'll have partaken of some various Bodka-Dwips™ and such.

I'm not too worried about making a naughty or nice list. Basically because that takes too much effort. BOL. Here are my reasons I don't put much effort into this holiday.

--Only 4 days left. I've never been into destroying furniture because I like the benefit of the softness.

--SNACKS. I get these every day. Why is it any better if I have to unwrap it or if it comes in a fuzzy stocking?

--Mom's Favorite - even if only in my own mind, I am the Favorite.

--Mom's already trained - she opens the door, lifts me up to the bed, makes sure the chair I'm will still be able to see her, food and water filled properly.

--Because of course I am Scooter!

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

*(Santa Paws, look in your pocket, I snuck in some gummi bears soaked in Bodka. Trust my Mom, eat them, Rudolph's driving after all).

Makings of a Country Song.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

How's everypup doing? Been a long time and that is all my fault. I just lay around uninspired this time of the year. Dark, rainy, cold, why bother?

*Scooter clears his throat and affects his best Southern sound/voice*

Y'all we've a country album in the makin'.

*The Stove Caught On Fire - a song about fire and panic and beating stuff out with a towel.

*Dryer Switch Costs How Much? - sad story of technology and bad design. This is a premium song so download will cost 4 dog bags of food.

*Momma it's Cold On the Ride to the V-E-T - enjoy the backing vocals of Scooter and Pepper for a butt squeeze session then drop car off to have the heater fixed. Too many dog bags to count on paws.

*Meetin' the Tow Truckin' Man - this is about Mom with a broken clutch slave somein' somein' (she stopped listen' after "broken"). Not so many dog bags of food, but more than a paw for sure.

*No Light in my Life - the day 4 out of 5 light bulbs went out in the kitchen. (I think the Crows n Squirrels have something to do with this.)
No bag of food cost, dogs can see in the dark so who cares?

*Bye Bye Magic Heatbox - the thing Mom puts food into and warms it up stopped working. Estimate is a "we'll see".

*I'm Almost Starved to Death - I know there is food in that dish, but you'd better get your butt to the store and stock up before the weekend. Just sayin'.

*Vaccination - not the same as Vacation. Misty and Cutter had to go to the and have their refresher shots.

What do you think pups? Hit album or what?

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Embracing My Inner Wolf.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Mom told us about this article that explained why dogs eat their kibble so far away from their food bowl. She'd always snickered at how we all queue up in line but still wander away from the food bowl to chomp the kibble.

This is explained as basically channeling your inner wolf instincts. Wolves didn't belleh up to the hay bale, so to speak, like herd animals. They run in grab a mouthful and run out to enjoy away from the (to borrow a completely different species analogy) "sharking" going on at the food source. BOL.

So that is why I typically grab a mouthful of kibble, dash across the room and enjoy it in the comfort of the Scooter chair.

Embracing my inner wolf during dinner hour. We'll discuss my eye contact and growling to protect my kibble some other night.

Sniff at ya later as I am currently guarding the food bowl. BOL

~Scooter~

Justification.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

I did in fact pee on those pumpkins on the deck while looking at you as you told me not to.

It's pouring down rain and you just holler at me from the door. BOL. Make me stop.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Scooter's Rules For Life.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

I was just laying out in the last of the sunshine we will see for a long time in Seattle and thinking I should share some of my rules for life.

1. If there is a couch with pillows, make sure to perch on the pillow for extra comfort.

2. Bark at all the noises! Better safe than sorry!

3. Pee on all vertical things when out on a WALK. You never know when you'll be back to claim that territory as your own again.

4. Always guard your SNACKS. Even if you don't really like that particular flavor.

5. Mom, dogs cannot do the "twist". Stop making me dance with you!

6. Always choose to sleep in. Beauty over activity every day of the week.

7. The first morning pee should happen out at the tree off the deck. The one Mom calls the "morning wood" tree. Yawning is allowed, barking may throw you off balance a bit.

8. Always have the last bark.

9. Don't lean on the portable heater hogging all the warmth. It just turns itself off keeping all the warmth to itself.

10. Make sure your humans know how much you love them by burping your appreciation into their face. Food crumbs still stuck to any whiskers is considered going the extra mile.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Avast, Bark Like a Pirate Day.

Avast, thar everpup Scooter here.

This day be national speak like a scurvy pirate day 'n i reckon I might just want to make it national speak like a scurvy pirate week. I marked th' spot I buried th' treasure (bones) wit' an X 'n then peed on it. BOL. I like barkin' like a scurvy pirate because 'tis th' only the hour I can call me sister a wench. BOL

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Zaidie's Pawty Checkwist.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

I thought I would share with all my checklist for the END OF THE SUMMER EXTRAVAGANZA AT THE 'ZAIDIE HOWSE OB HAGGIS & SCOTCH™'

*Scooter barks once and once again*

ZAIDIE'S PAWTY PACKING WIST:


~Pwane Ticket & Earwy Entwy Pass for Puptacuwar Tweatment.

~Passport and Ebiw V-E-T Certificate to cwoss border (rabies free Babee)

~Beach Bwanket fur wuvin' or rewaxin'

~Sunwotion

~Sungwasses

~Nod fwimmin twunks and fwip fwops

~Beach Towewl fur rubbin' on if spwashed

~Wounge Chair fur rewaxin' & wookin' awe kewl'

~Rehdwating Quipment

~Mom's PicANicABasket (just in case this turns out to be a garbanzo & soy bean only type pawty)
~~Elk Snausage from Montana
~~Buffalo Pizzles (please, take 2 - they are wonderfur)
~~Antelope Jerky
~~Roast Beast (from Ted Turner's cattle, thank you cable dude)
~~Smoked red peppers
~~CHEESE
~~Bodka Dwip™ (not fur pups, will make your eyes go crosseyed)

Hope to see all you pups at the pawtah!

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Blowout!

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

OMD! Summer came last week while Mom was at Jellystone and I am dumping my spring and summer coat all at once. I'm so itchy and just keep scratching constantly. I get yelled at for making the bed wiggle, and yelled at when I'm on the floor making noise. Then I get the glare from Mom from all the fur balls I keep leaving all over the house.

I've got some heat rashes on my bellah and scratched spots Mom keeps putting stuff on. It makes it feel better, but I still don't like the stuff being rubbed on my sore spots.

I've lost a whole pound while hanging out with my pal Booger, staying at MzLouann's pad. I chase Booger around and then boss the big dog around in his own house. BOL!

The house is hot at 71 degrees, can you pups believe that? Seattle has been very cold this summer and above 65 we are looking for a cool spot.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~