It Was a Murder!

Hey Everypup ~Scooter here~

This is the scary time of the year. Just about 5:30 a "murder of crows" flocks through the neighborhood. They stop off on the trees around the yard and the street light. Cawing and flying around in the gamillions. I think if I had Spiderman's number he could come out and wipe the whole flock of hoodlums out with one cast of his Spidyweb.

Since I don't have that, I'll just keep up me regime of barking.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

First There Were the Crows.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Now Seagulls have started hanging out in the backyard. I am about to explode!!

Dang BIRDS!!!

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Things Humans Should Not Do By Themselves. *Edited with- suggestions*

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

I've been making a list of things I think that humans should always have a dog escort to accomplish. Of course except for that WORK thing, dogs should be involved in all things humans do. Well BATHS too, we don't need any of that either. Here we go in no particular order. Shout out some suggestions if you feel I've missed any.

1. They should never sit on the couch by themselves. Especially and do nothing but watch TV. Get those hands busy and have them give belly rubs and ear skritches.

2. Fix food or eat. They are slobs and need us to help them keep the house clean.

3. Road Trips - nuff said.

4. Neighborhood WALKS.

5. Go out to the backyard and do any sort of yardwork, sit in the sun, escape from dogs, look for piece and quiet, read, or any other thing where we are left inside just staring out the window about ready to die of neglect.

6. Take a nap alone.

7. Talk on the phone thinking they can ignore us. You can walk and talk, you can talk and scratch.

8. Play on the computer and expect us to think you are "busy".

9. Sleep on the bed with no dogs surrounding them.

Well that's a start for now.

*Edited with suggestions*

Whitley, seriously, BATHS? Do you not read dog entries on these pages? Just look at poor Z-pup a month ago after his water torture in the bowels of the basement. Why look at him now wearing matching fancy kilts and hats and stuff. Next thing you know he will have those sock holder up things on. Oh wait, you'd be all into that wouldn't you. BOL. Still no BATHS on this list.

10. If you enter a room, dogs should also enter the room...if they want.

11. I agree w/ Coco Rose. Temperature taking and Butt Squeezing should be mano y pawo. Whimper Si™!!

12. Security Alert and Pizza Delivery Timing. To the doorbell ring timing, we have it. Practice rounds a bonus.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Take a Stroll With Me...

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Last Sunday the day after my butt squeeze from the EVIL V-E-T, Mom snuck me and Misty out of the house. I didn't want to go out since the horrors were still fresh. Except when she grabbed Misty off the bed, I thought I should at least go along since this usually means a visit to MzLouann's.

Except.....all she did was drive down to the bottom of our hill, only 5 houses down and parked the car across the street. I'd only just started my plea to sit on her lap so this really confused me. Mom snapped on our leashes and grabbed her phone, then opened the door.

We walked up the hill past the school and on the big road on top of the big hill if it is r-e-a-a-a-l-l-l-y clear you can see 3 very important mountain ranges in the Pacific Northwest. To the east you look at the Olympic mountains with the snow fresh from all the storms that have visited. Look to the west from the same spot and the Cascade mountains lead the first big range you face before you head east to the other side of the world. BOL.

On a perfect day you can see Mt. Ranier from the hilltop. When Mom sees it she says she's always amazed at how far away you can see that mountain on a clear day. What Seattlites call the "mountain being out". BOL.

If you walk just down that way towards the Olympic mountains and look off to your left you can see those really tall buildings in Seattle across Lake Washington. Mom says it's probably the equivalent of 1/2 a sled dog days worth of a ride. BOL.

Then we walked toward the Cascade mountains and visited the morning drive and go coffee shop and walked back in a round about way back to the car. Mom started it up and drove back up into the garage. Said it was the only way we could sneak out and not have the other 2 angry mad the whole time we were gone. BOL. However it needs to work, I'm up for more sneaky early morning walks.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Not Me Stopped by and Lingered.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Today started out horrible. First Mom got me out of bed early on the weekend. It was only 10 a.m.!! Then she tossed me outside in the rain like I was a pile of dirt she'd swept up from the kitchen. I knew what was coming up next so when Mom asked if I wanted to go for a car ride I ran under the coffee table. NO! I don't want to go for a car ride to the EVIL V-E-T!!

The thing is, I'm not bigger than Mom so she just reaches under there and hauls me out and off we go. They were running a little late at the V-E-T place so I had to sit in fear waiting for the lady to come get me. I keep telling Mom about the horrible things that happen around that corner, but I think she thinks all they do is put me on the scale and weigh me. They don't, let me tell you. They violate my butt, and I'm uncomfortable with this topic so let's move on.

Mom took me across the street to the really expensive pet store. Expensive because they are the only one in about a 15 mile radius. Mom let me pick out my own SNACK so I headed towards the MEATZ™ section and finally chose the smoked pig ear over the plain ol' pig snout. So Mom got 4 of those and we headed home.

Before you knew it, she turned around and went right back out the door. She went to 2 grocery stores and some silly arts and crafts store. So glad I didn't have to hang out for that horror.

Mom said as soon as she came in the house and got to the front room she knew Not Me had stopped by. She knew it was Pepper from the amazing distribution and coverage of the only carpet in the room. After Mom cleaned it up and was putting groceries away she kept smelling Not Me evidence. She found something she had missed, but the odor still lingered.

Later when Mom was watering the plants in the front room she discovered that Not Me had backed right up to the Ficus tree planter and left a little reminder on the edge of the pot.

Well I'm off to lay on top of the pile of pillows on the couch. The best spot to keep my eyes on the door to the garage and a view of the backyard.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Scavengers and Vultures.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Still those land sharks and bottom feeders Cutter and Pepper are skulking around just waiting for me to move away from my SNACK. They've snarfed up at least their body weight in SNACKS tonight and they are still gunning for mine.

Sure enough as I decided to head to the food bowl for dinner both of them bolted to my spot on the couch. Bully on them, I ate my SNACK this time. BOL.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

The Audacity.

Hey everypup ~ Scooter here~

This morning I almost levitated with anger. An EVIL CROW landed right on my deck and strutted across it like he was channeling his inner reggae mon. I was on full alert BARK mode but nothing fazed that monster.

Finally Mom opened the door and told it off. I wanted out there so bad and was so disgusted Mom didn't let me out that I chose to ignore her as she left for work.

Sure she wiped the angry dog spittle off my whiskers and gave me a kiss, but I chose to keep my eyes averted from "Mom's" cuteness and kept vigilance for EVILNESS in the sky.

Nose quivering anger still if you remind me of a CROW!!!

GRRRRRRGRRRGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Cutter is a SNACK™ Pig!

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

First off, thank you Coco Rose for the giant Golden SNACK Bone as a gift. This allows me to segue into this topic for tonight.

Mr. Cutter is a SNACK™ pig!! Not only does he con Mom into multiple extra SNACKS™ because he doesn't bother to taste them at all, just inhales them. He then proceeds to stare at me and my SNACK™. I know the whole house jumps up to the spot I vacated (well except for Mom and Lucy Kitteh) in hopes of crumbs or an entire left over SNACK™. I consider that "used food" so fine they can have it.

However!! Staring at me, sidling up next to me, trying to be my "furiend"; and finally, I am on to the false bark to "something" outside.

If I want to hang out with my SNACK™, I don't need the additional pressure of all the other dogs "sharking" around waiting me to spit out crumbs (chum) or be lured away from my SNACK™ (live bait).

This staring at me and creeping closer and stalking me has to stop. I am going to formally file a complaint to the SnackPatrolBoard.org™ (non-profit) or the SPB™ for short. They need to know about this bullying and badgering.

Don't stand for fursiblings intimidation. Report bullying, abuse and outright stealing of SNACKS™ immediately.

Thanks for standing up for all dog snacking rights!

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

I Shall Not be Ignored Today!!

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Today, I will not be ignored. Here's what I've been doing since Mom got home an hour ago.

*Demanded a SNACK.
*Run over to my Scooter Chair and demand Mom pet me.
*Insist I need to go outside, and then BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK.
*Refuse to come back when called and BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK. Except when Mom comes back after putting her shoes back on I'm now barking at the door to be let back in. BOL
*Randomly walk over to Mom and stand by her and if she doesn't notice BARK! Scares the heck out of her and I just look at her and wag my tail.
*Need the free flow food bowl shaken so that the bottom is covered. It's so sad when you can see the bottom of the food bowl.
*Whine to have Mom stack my pillows back up on the couch after I wiggled around on them and pushed them all off. I'm a stinker I know.
*Stare at Mom so long that she picks me up and gives me some scratches.

Well that's pretty much it so far, but the night is young as the humans say. I've got more under my dog bed I'll pull out later. Perhaps around 2 in the morning or so. BOL.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

Goofball Pie.

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Mom always calls me Goofball Pie because of how I am with my SNACKS.

In the morning after my privacy please time we all get SNACKS. Yes, you heard right, all the other pups have to wait until I go outside and come back in before they get theirs. No matter if they have already been outside! BOL.

After I come back inside, Mom gives all the other pups their SNACK and I just stand there grinning and wagging my tail. Mom always tries to get me to take it and 95% of the time I don't. Want to know why? Sure you do. It's because I want her to walk down the hall and lift me up onto the bed and THEN give me my SNACK. That way I can watch while she does all that weird stuff in the bathroom before work. (Did you know you shouldn't jump on the back of Mom's leg when she is leaning really close to the mirror and putting stuff on her eyelashes? Let me tell you - that makes a mess you just don't want to witness. BOL)

The other 5% of the time I take it walk 4 steps and toss it down and wait for Mom to pick it up, carry it down the hall and lift me up to the bed.

Then when Mom gets home from work she gives us all a MILKBONE™ so we will "Chill Out" and she can go privacy please and put down all her stuff from work. Then we all play the in / out game and she stands at the door letting us in and out. Mostly she doesn't have to close the door before we want back in. Mainly because none of us want any other pup to get the first pets from Mom. This is important and we are very vocal about who is picked first. Mom says it's all by random, and if I had the gumption I'd prove her wrong.

For the first SNACK after Mom gets home she just tosses it at me to where I'm sitting. Either the couch or my own special Scooter chair. She used to be a softball pitcher and she's very accurate at the underhand tosses so you don't have to worry about fighting the fast ones (Cutter and Pepper) for your very own SNACK.

This one - I just sit on and then bring out after everyone else has eaten theirs. I just play with it a little bit, picking it up and dropping it on the pillow, teasing the other dogs. Eventually I either get distracted or have to go outside. As soon as I move, it is a race by the others to get to where I have either left my SNACK or really good crumbs.

Once I come back inside I need to have another SNACK and that one I take up to my pillow pile on the couch and toss it around and play with it before settling in for a good nosh.

Still all the other pups do the "shark" around me in case I drop it or move away from it. Sometimes on the weekend I will sleep next to it for hours and fearfully defend it with a Scooter growl. rrrRRRgggggrrrggggrrrRRRgggggrrrrrr.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~ AKA "Goofball Pie"