June 20th 2011 8:12 pm
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Last night was not fun at all. I usually sleep at night, but the thunner and lightnin' started an' I tol Mom an' she got up an' gave me my Thunnershirt to wear. She also opened up her closet wif the comfy blanket in it, jus in case. That was nice'a her. I fell asleep after that, even in the big bed an' not in the closet.
In the mornin' it was rainin' rats an' frogs an' I din wanna go out an go potty no way, no how! Mom put a leash on both of us an' forced us out the back door into the rain. It was awful! Lexie got it over wif, but I jus couldn't pee under those condishuns. Who could? 'cept Lexie, a'course. She can really make me look bad. Phooey on her.
Mom finally gave up an' we went back inside. Mom was mad, I could tell, plus she was really wet. I was wet all over, too. I don like bein' wet. Mom dried herself off an' got a pee pad an' tol me I could pee on that if I had to, but NOT TO PEE ANY PLACE ELSE! She can be scary, so I jus lied low for a while.
Then suddenly it was not rainin' no more. Mom tol me to come outside, but I din trust her an' I din trust the yard or the sky or nuthin'. Finally Mom jus left me inside an' went out to play or sumthin'. I'm like, wait! Can I come? So she came back an' let me out an' I went potty for a long time. A long time. It felt so good. Mom was happy then an' so was I. Peein' is really good, specially after a long night wif thunner an' lightnin'.
The day got pretty good after that. We even had a visitor who really really likes dogs. Mom had put us in the yard before the visitor came, but the visitor lady said Oh no, let them come in. I don care if I gets the mud on me! She was really nice. I gots the mud on her.
Sometimes bad nights and yucky mornins can turn into pretty good days.
June 16th 2011 8:23 pm
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I have the most amazin' girlpup named Gretta. She is real pretty pup an' she is also very smart. Today she is even one more thing: A mighty hunter!
She jus tol me she bagged herself a bird - all by herself! An she din even hit the end of her retractable leash! It was so pawsome. I know cuz she tol me all 'bout it. I feel like I was there, relivin' it all through her storytellin'. Jus amazin'!
Now don even ask if she got to eat it all gone. A course not. Birds are NDA. It's true. Unless you can sneak 'em when your Mom's not lookin'. I gotta ask Demon Flash Bandit what's up wif that. We kill it, we get to eat it, right?
I jus wanted everypup to know what a pawsome girlie I gots. She tol me to be on the lookout for somethin' soft an' squishy in the mail tomorrow an' I got all 'cited cuz I was sure she had finally figured out a way to get herself all the way from OhiO to Milkbonewalkie, but she said no, it was not even gonna be for me. It is somethin' for mom. Soft an' squishy, huh? An' not my girlie?
June 15th 2011 8:53 pm
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School is out for summer. I guess this means all the classes will be outside cuz the public schools can't afford the air conditioning like we have at home. Poor schools. Poor kids. I don like it so hot either. No wonder they want to have school outside for summer.
I wonder what they'll do when it rains. Like today. It rained in the half of the day where we have the dinner. Not the breakfast part of the day. The other part. Still light outside.
Afternoon. That part.
Maybe they will have to sit under umbrellas. Or wear stoopid plasticky raincoats like Mom made us wear once. Or jus get wet. Yuck. I hate gettin' wet.
The kids sure seem happy 'bout it, so maybe they don mind gettin' wet like I do, as long as they can have school outside for summer.
June 11th 2011 8:14 pm
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OMD! We were invited to Kaiser's house tonight for dinner! I mean we were invited to Kaiser's house for dinner a long time ago and we went to Kaiser's house tonight for that dinner. It was so pawsome!
First we got there an' went for a walk down the block cuz Mom said she din want me to pee in their house. I peed all up an' down the block, but appawrently I saved some cuz I still got 'cited an' peed one time right when we got in the house. You shouldda seen Lexie rollin' her eyebrows. Mom smacked my hiney, too, right when I did it. I sorry.
Then Kaiser showed us 'round an' we played a bit before dinner. Before dinnerS, I hafta say. First we had duck liver paawtay (somethin' French, I think) on a crunchy biscuit. Then we had 'nother kind a biscuit wif cheese on it! OMD! Cheese!
Then we had slices of sweet pepper an' fresh blueberries. I was so happy!
Then we played a bit an' then we had another meal! I know, right?! It was somethin' yummy that tasted like meat an' had somethin' else in the middle. So tasty!
Then we played a bit more an' then we had "dessert!" I know, right? Jus like the peoples! It was like Frosty Paws™, only a diffrent brand an' it tasted like sweet potatoes. It was delishus!
Then the hoomans all started talkin' an' stuff an' we pups got a plate cleanser that was a cranberry bone. It was s'posed to make our breath smell good. I think my breath jus smells like cranberries now, but I don care. It was tasty in the best way!
Kaiser an' I played a bit an I tried to go up on the couch like I allus do at home, but Mom said no an' shoved me back on the floor! I know, right? What up wif that? I got the idea after 'bout three times knocked offa the couch an' I stayed on the floor.
What a 'mazin' day! I wish every day was like this one. I like four meals for every meal!
June 6th 2011 6:45 am
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But appawrently, Mom don dig it. She was mad cuz I digged under the fence again, three times this past week. She tol me "No more diggin', Buddy!"
I tol her if she din put all the dirt back every time, I won hafta dig no more! Du-uh!
May 30th 2011 8:26 pm
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Nanner nanner - Lexie got a baff an' I din get a baff! She was doin' some chipamonk trackin' in the muds an' got so full of it (she is always full of it) that Mom said she hadda have a baff.
Then Mom came an' felt my tummy an' said I needed a good brushin', but she was too tired to do another baff for tonight. I'm lucky that way. I also wasn't stickin' my snout in the mud like that.
I hope Mom forgets 'bout baffs tomorrow. I don want onna those!
May 29th 2011 9:52 am
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I found a mouse! I was jus 'bout to taste it, but Mom saw me an' came over to see what I gots. It was in the basement while Mom was doin' the washin'. It was so small, barely a snack. Mom said it must be a baby from the two bigger ones she caught in a trap last week. They are gone now, as in not alive no more.
Mom said this happened one time before. A momma mouse who is gonna have babies decides to move into nicer (and warmer) digs an then she has those babies and raids our kitchen at night to feed 'em. Then when the momma is suddenly gone, those babies get hungry an' wander out an die all over the place. Or somethin' like that. This one was on a journey to the buffet an' he din make it.
Mom picked up the tiny guy wif one of our poo bags an' showed him to all the kids an' tol them that you never know if there is a mouse nest in your BEDROOM so you better clean everythin' offa your floor NOW. Then I heard her mumble somethin' 'bout freezin' that baby mouse an' puttin' it out in a kid's bedroom every coupl'a days to get clean rooms. I dunno what that's 'bout. She was smilin' kinda crazy, too. Must be happy to find the cutesy little mouse, huh?
May 28th 2011 7:38 pm
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OMD! You wouldn't belief how many peoples are here tonight! Second child, who is big like an adult, but Mom says he's still a child even if he is more taller than lots of people, anyway, he asked Mom if he could have three friends over tonight. Mom said yes he could have three friends over tonight. I counted three friends a couple times. Lexie said there are five friends. Whatevfur!
Now Second Child's pals on the faceplace are all sayin' Hey! Why Was I Not Invited?! Mom finally went on there and said somethin' 'bout it on Second Child's faceplace page. Like my son asked if he could have three friends over tonight. And I said yes. Back off. Or something like that. Second Child is popular. Like me. And tall. Like me. But I have a way better beard, even tho he tries to tell peoples that he shaves an' all. That is funny!
They are outside wif a fire an' makin' gooey things called some mora'that, or somethin'. I better get back out there in case stuff needs cleanin' up. I already got potato chips and they were good. Nice an' salty.
Bud, the popular pup
May 23rd 2011 12:11 pm
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I got lots of good tips from my pals fur helpin' Mom to celerybrate her educashun thing. I think my favorite was to chew on her shoes so she can have the pleaser to go shoppin' fur new ones. She sure does like shoes.
Even jus today Mom got out her keen shoes for the summer. She has lots of those an' they are chewy. They would do what greenies do, keep my teefs clean an' save Mom moneys at the dogter an' save me dental tortures. Truly, I can count to three an' sometimes one more an' I know Mom has more than that many keen sandals that I could chew on.
She got out some of these today an' put them down on the stairs an' then looked right at me an' said, "Don't touch these shoes like you did last year!"
Hunh? I don 'member touchin' shoes last year. I don 'member last year at all. I wunder if diffrent color keens taste diffrent. I will let everypup know.
If you don hear from me for a while, that means this din go so good.
May 22nd 2011 10:03 pm
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It is thunderin', lightnin', an' rainin' outside right now*. I hate it. I have my thundershirt on an' I think it is helpin' a bit, but I still don like the TLR. I don even like typin' it, so I am jus gonna call it TLR.
Mom did her gradumashun today wif that long robe thingy an' the funny hat. I din know what that was 'bout, but Lexie tol me Mom went to school for a long time an' now she was gonna get like a Frosty Paws or somethin' for all her work. I din see no Frosty Paws no where, but she came home wif a special folder that had nothin' even in it! What's up wif that?
Lexie said it was for to hold Mom's die ploma. Why din they jus give her the 'ploma thing wif the holder thing? Lexie said they will put it in the mail. The check is in the mail. The 'ploma is in the mail. We've all heard this before. I think. I dunno. I'd rather have some Frosty Paws.