September 13th 2011 8:00 pm
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I 'member last year it was those ads alongside my diary that made me crazy. I don even know what it was, but it involved dogs that were movin' all over an it gave me an Mom the willies.
Now there are dogs wif dentures in their moufs. It looks silly and even worse than that. It is givin' Mom an me the willies all over 'gain. You can put your pups photo in their thingy an it will make it look like you have your very own pup dentures. I wanna hide under the bed.
September 11th 2011 4:19 pm
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Mom and Fourth Child did run for five Ks yesterday. That is over three miles. That is some sort of distance that I dunno. They came home an they were all wet an stinky.
After that Mom said her stomach hurt. I'm pretty sure she din use her stomach to run all that way. She made herself some rice an then laid on the foodton an asked me to come up an lie on her tummy. She said that made it feel better. Whatevfur. I climbed up an was all helpful-like. I'm good like that.
Today Mom is achy an' walkin funny. BOL!
September 6th 2011 8:09 pm
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Mom said, "I am gonna paint this little old bookshelf."
She took that little bookshelf into the yard an took a can of Lysol (it looked like Lysol) an she shook it up a long time. I could hear things rattlin' in that can while she shook it.
Then she aimed the can at that little bookshelf an the bookshelf turned colors! It was amazin'!
She seemed really happy wif that, so suddenly she looked at the garage an' started to aim the can there. First child had painted a tree on the side of the garage a couple years ago. Now Mom put colored fruit all over the tree. Then she put some polka dots along the side. Then she did paint the entire door! I'm not sure what the colors are, but they are not what they used to be, which was kinda plain. Lexie said it was not Lysol either. Kinda stinky.
I think I better stay away from Mom for a while. I know First an Third Childs have fur that is not the normal color fur peoples. I don want Mom a get any strange ideas 'bout my fur. I like me plain.
September 3rd 2011 9:59 pm
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Mom went to a pig roast today. OMD!
She said there was a whole pig on a long wood rod and her friend roasted it over a long box of coals along wif THREE whole chickens! OMD!
She said it tasted delicious. Well, duh! I really wish I couldda gone wif, but Mom's friend has a little Maltese (who is also named Buddy) who does not play well wif others. Phooey. I wouldda stayed outta his way, if only I couldda got to go wif Mom!
Wow. A whole entire completely pig pig. Mom said two of the guys there each ate an eyeball. I would so do that. They ate the ears an the tail an one guy even tried some brains. I would so do that too! He din even like the brains, but I wouldda liked 'em. Even I know that you shouldn't let a good brain go to waste!
August 27th 2011 1:24 pm
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Mom went to a meeting today fur new teachers. She's gonna be a new teacher soon for jus a bit each week. She already said I can't come along. Not only is her kinda teachin NDA, but she said I was not a proper example of what goes right wif teachin. Hunhh?
Anyway, Mom came home lookin' pretty confusticated. She was talkin' bout rubber bricks, asses mints, an playerism. I thought it was the drugs she has been takin for her cold, but Lexie said those are real things that teachers hafta know bout. Who knew? Not me! I jus figured you got up in front of them all an said, "Do it like this," and when they din do it like that, you tol them they could not gradumacate. Why make it so hard?
Lexie says that sometimes those who can't do, they teach. She then said I should not teach. John Stine Beck an a pal (I dunno who John Stine Beck is) were out in the big ol' redwoods in Callyfornia an John Stine Beck had his dog wif (I dunno what kind of dog it was) an John Stine Beck's dog peed on one'a those big ol' redwood trees. John Stine Beck's pal asked John Stine Beck, "What's a dog to do after that?"
John Stine Beck said, "He can always teach."
August 18th 2011 10:11 pm
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Tonight Fourth Child tol Mom that I was scratchin' myself too much an he was fraid I had got fleas an that he was gonna get 'em from me. I know, right? If anyone's got the fleas, he gots 'em! He takes a baff 'bout as often as I do, or less. But Mom came down on the side'a Fourth Child an I got hauled off to the tub. Got scrubbed til I was sure my beard was gone. Mom said I looked like a drowned rat.
Now the only good rat is a dead one, whether it is drowned or chewed up by a mighty Schnauzer, but I don 'preciate bein' compared wif one. That was what you call math. Addin insults to injuries. The baff was the injuries. I hate baffs.
But after that I was so happy an I did my happy dance all over the house. Second Child took me for a walk an it was pawsome cuz while we were gone, Mom gave Lexie a baff too! She thought she was gonna get out of it, but NO! That's what you get fur eatin' poo!
August 10th 2011 2:14 pm
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I typed up a big diary entry when Gretta's pawrents left our house an then it disapparated. I was so devastatered that I took a nap an then forgot bout it for two days. Now I 'member bout it an it makes me devastatered all over 'gain! Dang. Technology can be a Lexie. A female dog.
I had so much fun wif my sweet girlpup Gretta's pawrents here. I got so much lovin' an treats an rubs! I was on my best behaviors all the time they were here. I hope evfurryone noticed so there will be no questions 'bout wether or not I get to go to the OhiO wif Mom if she goes there to visit wif Gretta's peeps. I haven't pooed in the house since . . . since . . . well, since last night, but that was jus a fluke.
I tol Gretta I was gonna pack my bags for oHIo, jus in case, then I stopped an thought bout that . . . jus in a case? Get it? Packin, jus in a case, like a case for packin, but jus in case I get to go? I bowl me over sometimes!
August 3rd 2011 3:33 pm
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It all started out wif a car ride. A car ride wif Fourth Child an wifout Lexie - how cool is that?!
We went to the frozen custard place. It is like ice cream only it is frozen custard. Very rich and full of tasty lumps like cash yous an stuffs. We got there an' Mom an' Fourth Child walked me up the street past a big bank wif daylilies outside'a it. I peed on the daylilies an' then did the other thing too. Rhymes wif too. Mom said that was ironic cuz of who we were about to meet. Hunh?
So then we head back to the custard place an there is a car wif peeps in it an' Mom put me right up to the window of this car an' then the lady turned 'round an it was Gretta's Mom! OMD! Mom and I have never met Gretta's mom before, but we knew it was her right away. Mom knew cuz she saw the lady an' knew her from her picture an also cuz she knew what car to look for. I knew jus cuz I knew. It was so cool!
I met Gretta's Mom and Dad both! I stayed outside wif Fourth Child while the big people went in an got custard. They came back out an Gretta's Mom gave me part of her biskit that was in her custard - how cool is that?! We are best pals now an furever. Then I got to clean out her dish when she was done wif her custard. Then I got to clean out Gretta's Dad's dish too! OMD! He is now my best pal for life too!
Then Gretta's mom gave my mom some daylilies out of the back of her car! I know, right?! I din tell her I had jus watered somebody's daylilies right before they arrived. I'm good like that. Watering. An' not tellin'. My Mom an Gretta's mom both love the daylilies. Mom said I can't pee on these special daylilies cuz they are special. Or at least only if it is rainin' out. I don go out when it is rainin', I reminded her. Good, then don pee on the daylilies at all evfur. Ok.
I only wish my dear sweet Gretta wouldda been able to sneak into one of her pawrents' bags or somethin'. Either she din make it or she was in the trunk tryin' to get out that entire time. I dunno. Mom said her pawrents are going up north for a few days, then comin' back to stay wif us a coupl'a days before returnin' to their home far away in the oHIo. I am soooo 'cited!
I will have to tell you all 'bout it. I jus know this is gonna be pawsome already cuz of all the lovin' they gave me an' the treats an' even bully sticks they sent home wif Mom! OMD!!! I can hardly wait for them to come back!
July 31st 2011 9:40 pm
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It is almost tomorrow. We are up on the wrong side of the day, I guess. But tomorrow, in a few minutes, is the day that our new pal Deacon is starting his heartworm treatment. He has the adult wormies, which are gross. We want them to die, but that will take two big painful shots and then 4-6 weeks of crating and rest. Poor Deacon! That is gonna be hard, but he's gotta do it.
Anyway, please remember him and send some love, good thoughts, prayers and POP.
July 31st 2011 7:10 am
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Kaiser is prolly on his last legs. That's cuz he goes home tomorrow. We gotta get a lot of playin' in afore he goes cuz there is no dog playin' wif another dog after he leaves. Lexie is not play full. I dunno why Mom likes her so much. She's jus not fun.
Mom did my laundry today so the bed will smell nice an outsidey tonight. The sheets an the pillow pockets are out on the line, dryin in the sunshine. Sunshine smells good later at night. Mom said the bed smelled doggy before she washed them. Doggy is good too.
Lexie said the ceilin is fallin. The Det Ceilin'? Or maybe it is fallin' but we're not sure yet. I'm stayin' inside on Tuesday. Tuesday is the day. I guess humans in Washington are not playin' nice together, like Kaiser an I do. Must be like that hum ping thing again, everyone tryin to get on top of everyone else, but no one gettin any satis faction. Only faction. I hope they work it out so no ceilins fall down.
Please remember our new pal Deacon tomorrow. He is gettin' his first shot for heartworm treatment an that's no fun. He has to be real quiet an still (I know, right?) for 4-6 weeks. I dunno how he's gonna do that. I've NEVER done that. Please send prayers and POP so he can get well an the worms in his heart don win.