Who Ensalmonated My Peanuts?

I love peanut butter, but Mom said I can't have any for a while cuz peanuts might be contaminated with salmon. I loves salmon, so what's wrong with that? Mom says, no - it might make me sick. I told her I wouldn't eat too many peanuts, but she still said no. There is a girlie salmon out there that wants me to puke. I told her I would eat my puke if I puked, but Mom still says no.

What I want to know is, who ensalmonated my peanuts?