My Job Description

Mom says I am her court jester, her hot water bottle, her kitchen floor cleaner, her back yard exterminator, her perimeter security system, her toy, her anti-depressant, her exercise machine and her instant teenager-love-replacer (just add treats). That is certainly a long list of things that I am responsible for. I didn't know that I was doing any of them, actually, but now that I know what I am doing, I think I deserve a pay raise.