Fours years without you....

Hi my sweetness....I cannot believe today was the day I had to say goodbye to you...four years ago. Oh, that day still haunts me in many ways; though I had learned that I did things right for you. I do believe that. I would have done anything for you...to make you well...to make you healthy; but your time had come . I stayed with you every single moment...and when I had to leave without you, my legs would hardly hold me up. And now, little Truman is with you. That was never expected and still makes me sob; but knowing you were there to meet him and knowing he loved you so much here makes it easier.

Our pack is so different now Oliver. Luca sure could use you at times to teach him confidence. I know you would help him. Lex, of course, loved you as his leader and was so lost...now he is the last of the three musketeers and is doing well; but I feel he is different. He always let you and then Truman be the 'leader' and now he has taken that spot; but I think he loved being in your pack. He is 9 now and his hips and knees hurt...please watch over you BIG brother.

What else can I say...I love you. I loved you the moment I saw you and that has never waivered. I will go to my grave loving you and looking for you and Truman to greet me. I will always be so grateful for having been your Mommy. Please give little Truman a kissie from Mommy too and make sure he knows how much he is loved forever too. Mommy.

Happy Birthday my love...

Dearest Baby Oliver...another birhday at the Bridge...I willl never stop wishing you were still here; but I know that is impossible...so I will say thank you for being here as long as you could. I hope you and Truman and your friends had a party to put all other parties to shame. At Christmas , I sure missed my all-time champion present opener. Oh, how you loved to tear that paper to shreds. It didn't even matter what was inside. HA. This year...your brother Lex actually took over and you would have been proud. He always stepped back and let you do all the honors...but this year...he stepped right up!!! Luca learned and jumped in too and little Willow was happy with her first present! Oh, such memories you have left me with to treasure. I am sure you know that Pop, Dan's father, came to Heaven on your birthday this year. You remember going to his house and him giving you treats...you loved going. I had a feeling that you and Truman were right there to meet him and take him to his wife whom he loved so much. Happy Birthday my red-headed baby...you will always be the one who opened Mommy's heart up more than I ever knew to be possible. Please tell Truman Mommy misses him every day too and that I loved him coming to me in a dream and jumping in my arms. Oh, I could smell him...it was wonderful...why don't you try to do that next...I would love it. I love you Oliver...always! Mommy

Your third Angelversary, Oliver....

Oh how hard it is to believe it has been three years since I last touched you. This year's anniversary has been especially hard for me, Baby, because Truman is gone too. I wish he had been able to stay with me as long as you did...or even longer; and I don't know what happened to your sweet brother; but I think of you meeting him at the Bridge and the two of you side-by-side now; and every now and then...looking to see if Mommy is coming. Lex is the only one of you three left...and he is missing you both and has changed since Truman also left.
I don't necessarily try to 'remember' anniversary dates that are so sad; but somehow, I always just 'feel' it and know it is coming and, then, here. I will always miss you ...I will always cherish you...and I pray that someday I will be with you again....that I will see you and Truman ...and others...waiting for Mommy....then running to greet me when the time is right. Oh, that makes me smile through my tears. Again, I thank you for letting me be your Mommy, my love. You left me brokenhearted; but bigger-hearted and better. I don't say RIP....to you and Truman...rather; I say, Fly free and high and run and jump and bark with joy. If you and brother can ever come to visit Mommy in a dream or in any way, my love, I am here and always hoping for a glimpse of eternity with you. I love you, Oliver. Mommy

How are you and Truman....

Oliver..my little love...I hope you and Truman are having fun at the Bridge..I am still so shocked that you are both gone from my sight now. I still feel you with me; but also feel the loss of both of you so greatly. If you hear Mommy crying...it is okay...it is just because I love you both and wish I could watch you playing again...like you used to in our back yard. You were so cute hanging together...the exact same size and you were both so alike. Truman helped Mommy get through losing you and now I need you both to watch over all of us...we all miss you both and maybe you can send us a little butterfuly or dream or memory when we need it most.

I remember when we got Truman...you were pretty unsure of him. HA. Then, we had 'puppy preschool' and I would get you to do a trick for a treat...and he and Lex watched you and then did the same thing. You also taught them to go out the doggie door to go potty. They wanted to do everything their Elder Oliver did like they worshipped you. Now, I wish you and Truman were both here to teach little Willow...and Luca. Oliver...you trained Truman to be the most perfect boy for Mommy...I thank you forever...I love you...I love you both. Always.

Two years today, my Angel....

It is after midnight, so it is now your angelversary, Oliver. I cannot believe I have been without you for two whole years....I can't believe I have survived it at times. I have missed you, and still miss you more than I thought possible. But time has helped heal my heart and I am blessed with such beautiful memories because of our love. For 13 years, we were such a team....you will always have a place in my heart and I keep your memory alive daily...it is important to remember such love. Your picture is still in my car and you go for bye byes with Mommy daily!!!!

Oliver, I will always by so proud and humbled to be your "Mommy". I will be sending you a special balloon today for your angelversary....maybe you can send me a little gift too....you will know what will catch my eye , and touch my soul. Oh, listen carefully...I am going to sing you our special "Oliver song" today. I just wish you were here to cuddle with me like you always did when I sang it.

Love Mommy

Sweet Cali is here with me now.....

We have the mnst beautiful new angel at the Rainbow Bridge......her name is Cali and she has been my special earth angel for a long time now. I watched over her after I came to the Bridge and her Mommy helped my Mommy through her grief.
Cali showed the world how beautiful such a bond could be between a human and a canine for almost 18 years .... and she did it all with style! We all knew a true princess was arriving and she was welcomed like royalty by so many of us here. She is beautifully adorned now with the finest wings befitting such a noble creature. She has already learned to send her Mommy little signs that she is okay and will see her again one day. Until then, Cali is now running and playing and eating all she wants! And the Bridge is even more beautiful now.....because of our newest angel!

New Bruvver...

My earth bruvvers, Lex and Truman now have a new addition. Mommy is making him a page right now. His name is Luca and he was rescued directly from the Metro Shelter. Mommy watched out for him for 2 months and no one saved him. So, I sent Mommy ...and yep...he is still there. Mommy nursed him through kennel cough and is dealing with all the holes he is digging and the puppy play; but I knew he would give Mommy some good kisses like I used to. And, he does...he is a lover once he is calm. She says now we have small, medium and large boys. She calls them the Pood Patrol. I know he will have a great life; just like I did. I love you all....and you too, little brother Luca. I sent Mommy three rainbows this week to make her happy....one for each pood!!!

Random Act of Kindness....

Hi everyone....Mommy does an act of kindess in my memory each month (Greedy's mom gave her that idea after I went to the Bridge and it really helps her) This month she saved a dog from the Metro Kill Shelter that she had been watching. Three people said they would get him, but didn't and she saw he was still there. Then, she was told it was his last day.....she flew there and adopted him and since he was already neutered, he came home immediately. She wasn't planning to keep him, just save him and get him into a foster home; but it turned out this way. Then, he became VERY sick with kennel cough and she has been his nursie....like she used to be mine.

As of today, he is so much better that he is driving her crazy with puppy energy!!!! If she doesn't keep him, she has a home already selected where they have kids, horses, land, and mom who adores and has had poodles before. But, now she has guilt over not keeping him......she realizes she is not cut out to be a foster mom...but then I think she already knew that. In the meantime, he is eating great food, and gaining weight...he was so thin..he has learned to use the doggie door and is HAPPY and alive. At 5 months old, he had to have a chance to live. Thank you Mommy for doing this in my honor.
You do know I led you to this little guy, don't you...he needed you most. This is what I mean by "Love lives Forever". I am gone , but my love is larger than ever and Mommy feels it and honors it. Love is all that truly matters....I love you Mommy. His pictures are now on my page at the end.

Happy Easter, my little Angel...

Sweet Oliver....Mommy is sending you Happy Easter wishes. I still feel you with me in spirit and I miss you; but also honor our time together with smiles and laughter. I treasure every moment we ever had together. Last Easter was the last day we had together. The next day would be the time for you to make your last trip to the Vet with Mommy . I think of you every day....but Easter will always be a special day of rememberance too. We looked into each other's eyes so much that day and you got as close as you could to Mommy...we both knew the moments were precious. And, now you are Mommy's little Guardian Angel and I still carry your photo and carseat in my car for comfort. Don't worry about Mommy...I am okay; but I send you love and kissies and will always love you!!!!! That will never change. Shine on Mommy with your special love when you can.

One Year Without You....

Oliver....Today, March 24 marked one year since you had to leave. It has been year of firsts without you....and I have missed you every day. It has also been a year of learning how to love from afar and learning that you are always with me ....if I will allow myself to feel. You left behind such beauty in the memories and I like to remember them. Yes, I am sad at times; but mostly I smile or laugh when I think of you. And, I love the funny memories you left me--I can laugh out loud at times.

Today was hard for Mommy, I will admit. It brought back the final moments; but I have said it before....I would give anything for another day with you, but I wouldn't TAKE anything for one of our moments we had together . I never thought I would be so bonded to a pup, Oliver, but you opened my heart and gave me true companionship and unconditional love. I thank God for you today and every day. Fly free, my beautiful boy....and always feel Mommy's love...it will always be there. Mommy and your brothers sent you a balloon today with a treat....and one for your special friend, Greedy. Kissies from Mommy,my Angel.