April 3, 2008

I have a confession to make. I actuall like my new inhaler. Mommy calls me Cheech now since i take "hits" 2 times a day. I have found my inhaler relaxes me. Go figure. As soon as i see it -i come running to Mommy and i sit real close next to her while she puts it on my nose. Its good stuff. And i get a duck flavored biscuit afterwards. Always a good thing.

Bark on....

March 28, 2008

Ok, well mommy and daddy took me back to that nasty animal hospital today. How rude. They put this nasty mask on my face and i breathed in this awful smell. Then as is that wasnt enough, mommy just had to mention the sore on my ear and of course the dr saw dollar signs and suggested she scrape off part of my ear with this nasty sharp object. You know its gonna be bad when they take me away from mommy and daddy. So of course since i was removed from my parental care, it hurt and i bled. Mommy tried to appease me and give me my favorite duck treat after the mask incident but of course i would have none of it. Talk to the paw, mommy, I am just not quite ready to forgive you.
Total for todays incident: $255.00
Grand total: $3034.00
College savings plan for my human siblings: rapidly dwindling

Bark on........

March 18, 2009

My stitches got taken out yesterday after my walk. Yahooey!!! Now i am as cute as ever. Today, I went for a car ride to my kids school and then mommy took me to the park in the car. Whaaat? She never did that before. But since i got driven to the park i had extra energy to torment the squirrels, since i didnt have to walk to the woods which is a mile away. Mommy should drive me everyday but i doubt she will. Then i came home and got my face washed and since i hate that more than anything i got a to choose a biscuit. oh happy day. Off to nap.
Bark on.....

March 13, 2008

Well, they went ahead and did it. I had my rhinoscopy tube up my nose thing and they sliced into my face to take out a lymph node i was using. I got purple stitches. The color is cool, and i do look baaaad with stitches on my face, but all in all it wasnt worth it. So mommy and daddy paid really really big to torture me. But the best part, this is the funny part so pay attention. Now this doctor. she insists that i need an inhaler, yep you heard right, an inhaler which she says will cure my runny nose and weepy eyes. Yeah just like the surgery was supposed to do. But anyway....so now i am a dork dog and i will be using an inhaler. Next thing i will have a pencil case in a pocket attached to my chest. I havent started using the inhaler yet....the mask is on backorder. Like i am going to let them put a mask on me. Right. So lets go back over all this. I have a runny nose, weepy eyes. so the vet says i have a tooth abscess, let me cut into you and remove it. But, noooo, there is no abscess but i will take these other 3 teeth anyway. Now, lets go up your nose with a camera and see whats going on. So my mommy and daddy let them do it. I bleed snot all night. Then, i get to be using an inhaler. Crazy humans.

Heres another thing that has me laughing. Apparently, my mommy and daddy have been flagged. All the vets and vet hospitals in the area have their name and number and they all know that they will pay anything, yep, anything to make their babys well. So today, Rocky, my annoying parrot brother, pulled feathers out and started to bleed bad. so he needed to head right to the emergency, (of course) and remember there is only one vet who takes care of parrots in the area, and she is very very expensive. so she fixes rocky all up, and talks mommy into expensive bird food for for his meals. Of course she did, mommy and daddy pay anything right? It says so right here in the chart/memo. If you ask me, Rocky is jealous of all the attention i was getting so he ripped feathers out on purpose and bled all over himself-on purpose just for a little attention. Rocky is 23 years old and has never done this stunt before. Jealousy pure jealousy. Lame, Rocky, really lame.

Well, i need to stay on top of this and not let stupid Rocky outdo me, i will ponder what i need to do next and will keep all who are interested informed.

Vet bills so far:
Broken toenail- 153.00
1st trip for runny nose- 120.00
2cnd trip for runny nose- 115.00
Tooth removal and teeth cleaning-553.00
Rhinoscopy- hold onto your britches- 1700.00 yep 1700.00
inhaler-200.00
mask-? still on order
Rockys visit to bird vet- 158.00
grand total: 2779.00 +++++

Diagnosis for molly- Hayfever---Priceless

fyi- the orginal vet mommy and daddy took me to diagnosed hay fever- for free. Diagnosis after 2500 dollars at animal hospital-HAYFEVER!!!!

Teenagers college education...... dwindling

bark on..........

February 27, 2008

Well, I had my doggie looky see surgery. Can you believe? That Dr Jim took 3 teeth out of my mouth. Ok, Ok, so they are really far in the back and he claims i won't need them. Huh, lets take 3 teeth out of the back of his mouth and see how he does with his steak dinner. Anywhoo, so these teeth he took were on the bottom of my mouth and apparently not causing my sinus problems. What???? So off I go this Friday to yet another vet, for another looksee. This time up my nose. Double Whaaaatt?
This better not interfere with my weekend. I have big plans. If i am lucky this day will start with the snowstorm Hurricane Schwartz from channel 10 weather is promising me. Snowstorms are always big fun, and perfect way to start my weekend. So, after the snow arrives, I plan to wake up at an appropriate time. Appropriate for me, not mommy. Say like 7 a.m. I plan on having a big bowl of oatmeal, chicken, banana and a nice sprinkling of cinnamon on top. Then when i am good and nourished, i plan to tackle the park and all the squirrels who torment me daily. Then, a nice nap on the couch, with mommys favorite blanket. Oh, I also plan to have absolute quiet during my nap. Are you listening Rocky? (for anyone who doesnt know or who may live on the other side of the world and may not have heard him. He is the absolute loudest, most obnoxious, most annoying of all species roaming the planet. He is a parrot. And I will let you in on an embarressing secret Rocky keeps- He has a crush on Rachel Ray and screams and throws himself all over his crib until he watches her show. Yes, Yes, i know, he is quite rediculous, and immature, that is why i felt I had to share. Also, by the way, he keeps reminding me he is living in MY house watching Rachel Ray on MY tv. And since he is a bird tornmenting me daily, i may have to eat him to shut him up.) Anyway, back to my nap. After my QUIET nap, i shall have the bone of my choice. I am considering the new ones mommy bought for me today. Quite delicious. Then I shall play with my boy, and we will play for at least 45 minutes, the game of my choice, which i am sure will be either eat the parrot (which i will do while I watch Rockys tivo of Rachel Ray, and of course i will make him the main ingredient in one of her recipes of the day, and dont worry, i will use ample amounts of evoo, and shout yummo while i gulp him down- heheheh-so much fun), or we'll just play frisbee. We'll see how it goes. Then, another nap followed by a yummy dinner of Rocky the parrot (if i havent eaten him already) or I'll just have steak and veggies with a side of sweet potatoes- if i enjoyed Rocky for lunch. Followed an hour later with another walk and then a chew bone. Then a movie and off to bed. See big plans. Which can not and should not be intruded upon with any apparatus going up my nose.
I am considering getting a petition going. See how many puppies out there who are on my side and willing to sign on to protest the rude invasion of my nose. Let me make my point on the importance of dog noses and why they should not be tampered with.

1st- I read all my mail with my nose
2cnd- I know everything that goes on in my house with my nose, i dont even have to leave my couch- i mean my post. If someone is having a cookie, I know it instantly and can immediately join them for a snack. If they are having a carrot, then my nap can proceed undisturbed.
3rd- I know instantly when deer, bunnies, snakes, squirrels, birds and oh yes CATS invade my yard and i am able to take immediate action.
4th - With the use of my nose i do not find it necessary to pick the trash, i already know what is in there.
and---I dont have to do the annoying habit the teenagers in my house do- I do not have to ask 800 times what we are having for dinner. I already know.
5th- most importantly- when my family comes home- one sniff of their hands and i know immediately if they cheated on me with someone elses dog. Then, i can dish out appropriate punishments.

Well, it is past my bedtime, and i do believe i will have quite a fight on my hands come friday, so i need to rest up.

Bark on.....

February 12, 2008

I haven't been updating my page since before christmas. I haven't been feeling up to my puppy self. My eyes are runny and my nose is stuffy and drippy. I have a lump on my cheek. I'm too tired for my daily walk, and my body aches like an old dog.I went to the dr and he gave me medicine for a sinus infection. That means i get a bit of cheese with a little pill hidden inside. Of course, I pretend that no pill is in my cheese, but anyway, so i have this sinus infection. but the medicine doesnt make me better. And I needed to go back to the dr. But my doctor was having fun on a cruise while i lay miserable. How rude! So anywhoo, i went to another vet that my friend wilson from the park said is really good at making puppies better. Well, so i have a sinus infection, but it might be caused by a tooth abscess or something else going on in my mouth, annoying the bejeebers out of my sinuses .So all the cheese in the world is not going to make me feel better. Bummer, today i had to go get blood taken and my mommy said i have to go back on Thursday, so they can get me to sleep, take xrays, and have a look see in my jaw and fix what might be bothering me. As soon as i heard this, i pepped right up and got out my favorite ball. Tossed it around and acted all well. But mommy saw right thru me and took me to the dr anyway. Ugh. So off i will go on Thursday, for the whole day i might add. Grrrrr. And it will be Valentines day. This means no special Valentine dinner, no movie in our theater room, and no daddys birthday cake for me .I thought they loved me. Huh. Mommy is apologizing profusely and promises that Valentines day, and my daddys birthday too, will be celebrated as soon as i am better. Well, I hope they follow thru on their promises because this puppy will mentally punish anyone who leaves said dog out of Birthday song and the cake that goes with it.
Well, so now i am all updated, soon to be feeling better.
Look out squirrels, i might be run down and slow now, but i will get you soon my prettys!!! (insert evil laugh here)
Bark on.......

December 6th, 2007

Weeeellll, not much is new here.

All i can say is it is a full time job, hanging around the cookie tree, turning it on and off, so i can get a treat. Mom still doesnt like me taking advantage of my abilities. so now i have eatin' all the cookies off the cookie tree without permission.
Still a few left where i can't reach, i am working on moving the couch closer to the tree so i can jump up and reach. Don't tell my mommy though. She keeps coming in and moving the couch back. When oh when will she go out all day? I need more time. While she works in her office, i hang out by the tree but she hears everything and i mean everything and makes me leave my post. If i can have about 2 hours uninterrupted i know i can move that chair and reach those cookies in high places.

I've been thinking, what to ask santa paws for xmas. I have been a very very good puppy but i dont know what to wish for. I am open for suggestions. I do have everything a dog could want. I have a cookie tree!!!!!!!

Well im gonna go rest up, i hear mommy is going out to lunch tommorow, so good things just might happen for me.

Bark on.......

December 3, 2007

Hooooray!! It snowed again yesterday. And of course i went to the park like i do everyday, but it was covered in snow, which makes the park 1000 times more fun.

And barking of fun, mommy put that tree in our house again. It hasn't been around for a whole year, but she got it out again today. I love that tree for 3 reasons.

First, when i was a baby, mommy taught me how to turn the tree lights on and off. And whenever i do, I always get a biscuit. Yeah for me!!! So this year, starting today, i have parked myself under the tree so i can turn it on and off as much as i want, not just when i am asked to. but there is one small problem, Mommy isn't giving me treats when i do it on my own free will. Ugh!

Second, last year mommy hung cookies on the tree. It smelled so good and mommy let me lick the ones i could reach. I was very polite and only licked- not ate. Mommy hung cookies from the tree again this year. They are awesome. sugar cookies shaped like snowflakes with candy windows in them. Oooohhhh we have the best smelling tree in the whole wide world!!! Today, when mommy wasn't looking, i ate a cookie. She didn't notice, but daddy is very perceptive and found a ribbon (which is the part i didn't eat) well he found it under the tree and assumed i ate the cookie. He told mommy i ate a cookie off of the tree. Daddy didn't like me doing that. "Daddy, if a dog eats a cookie off the tree and no one is there to see it, was it really eaten?" Anyway, mommy defended me and said that is what christmas is for: a good smelling tree for the dog, and if said dog can't resist the temptations........ weeeeellllll it is christmas.

Thirdly, if memory serves me well and i do have a great memory..... I know that presents get put under that tree. I also remember that i know which ones are mine and open them early. Mommy definately doesn't like that, so she then moves my gifts up higher. I hope she starts putting those presents under soon, because i am getting very antsy for some paper shredding. It is christmas.

Other news, i met my friend, Shamrock in the park the other day. He wasn't with his mommy, like usual, but he was with his grandparents. OOOOhhhh, i like his grandparents, his grandpa had biscuits in his pocket and gave one to me. That was one great trip to the park, seeing Shamrock and eating a biscuit!!!! My first picnic.


Yippeeeeee!

Bark on.........

November 20, 2007

Ohhh Weee! It is almost thanksgiving and my house sure does smell gooood!

More injustice in the world. My Daddy, (insert growl here) got out that suitcase again. And.....he took my big brother with him. Grrrrr. Mommy says they went college shopping, but when they got home they didn't have any shopping bags. Hmmm. They must have gone really far because i couldn't smell them anywhere. I am really getting annoyed with Daddy because he gets out that big black box way too much and then he goes away and i don't like all the room left in our bed. I need daddys legs to lean on thru the night. So i pace alot and look for him and disrupt mommys sleep. Maybe she will get tired of that big black box and all the evil it brings. Then Mommy will insist he stay home.

Anyways, so to keep busy, mommy, kaitie and Brendan made (or tried to make) a gingerbread house. It is a house made out of a cookie, my favorite kind of house. So now our house smells soooo good all day and it is driving me wild.
Today, mommy needed to add more smells and is making chocolate chip cookies for thanksgiving. Oh, i can't wait, i can' wait.

Mommy has been getting out that big machine she pushes around the floor. I don't like that machine and this week it is coming out more than ever. That evil beast eats up all the good smells in the house. Rocky, that big parrot that lives here, throws seeds at it to scare it away. He thinks he's helping me, but really, that machine loves to eat seeds. I think it gives it strength.

It snowed here over the weekend while daddy and Mike were away and then it snowed yesterday, again. I love the cold weather, and i love the snow. When it snows it sends the squirrels into a tizzy. Hehehe. I love when that happens, because they are so busy running in circles they don't see me coming. And when i tip toe i am practically invinsible. I haven't caught one yet but there is still time before thanksgiving.

I've been really itchy from my allergies (i pick alot of pollen up in the woods). Oh, I've been picking up alot of ticks too. so i have heard rumors of a bath. Yipes! I think i will hang low for a while and maybe they will forget all about me and my itchy feet and eyes.

I need to go nap, i feel the excitement building in the air. Mommys rushing around and cooking so i need to rest up for what might come. (maybe that bit bird in the fridge will come out and i need to be ready)

Bark on......

November 7, 2007

I have alot to tell today.
First, the weather has been so awesome, crisp and clear and it makes for good doggy smelling. So I have been spending alot of time in the woods this past week. Chasing the squirrels non stop. It is my favorite thing to do.

Two days ago, I was running alot in the woods and leaping over logs and trying to climb the big trees to get to the squirrels. But later that night, my boy noticed me licking my back toe. (I was trying to do it discretely but hes good). Anyway, I ripped my toenail in half. It was annoying me. My mommy thought i was in pain so she call the emergency doggy clinic. Of course they told mommy to bring me in. I didnt want to go, but off we went. It wasnt so bad, i broke my toenail, but i was lucky and i didnt brake it off to the quick so i can still go out and play, and it doesnt hurt, the best part is i got a very expensive pedicure. Funny, mommy never gets pedicures, and mine was apparently a very good one because they charged us as if we had oprah winfreys paycheck. But i do look good. They have a cat there that cesar would definately call balanced. Really cool not scary cat. He was so calm and he was hanging out in a vets office. Huh, go figure. Anyway, when i got there i was sooo scared i was trembling, but when i saw this cool cat, I relaxed. He was a cat phsycologist. Is that how you spell it? Anyway, he works there relaxing and calming all the scared animal friends. Also, they put me on the scale and now i weigh 53 pounds. I have lost a total of 21 pounds. I look sooooo good and i feel good, and i can play in the woods for a long time now without getting tired. Yeah me!!! I am going to put mommy and daddy on the string bean diet, they need it now more than me. Tee hee hee.

Another bad thing about the woods, I found my racoon friend, you know the one mommy wont let me play with, well he was asleep in the woods. I took mommy to him and i barked to show her where he was, but he wouldnt wake up. Mommy told me he was asleep and now i dont bother him when i go by. I miss my racoon friend.

I know a dog named Belle, she is a border collie. Belle was always afraid of me, but yesterday she saw mommy and me playing chase the stick and she likes that game, so she wanted to get in on it. So we raced and played and she is really fast. She gets to the stick first everytime. Now Belle and i are best friends.

More news, daddy is away again. Grrrrrr! I miss him. Mommy says he will be home tommorow night. But i still have another night that i have to sleep without him.

Well i think i will go watch out the front door at the squirrel in our tree. Hes been so busy annoying me. And while i am at it, i will watch and watch and watch for daddy, because if i hope and watch hard enough, maybe he will come home early.

Bark on......