June 14th 2009 10:10 pm
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Take this survey and send me your answers (or you can post them in your diary like I did so everyone can read about you)
What is your name? Doodle Masters (although the people that had me before mom called me SnickerDoodle, but mom just dropped the Snicker)
What other nicknames do you have? Doo, Doodie, (many others that aren't printable)
What breed are you? Weimaraner
Where were you born? San Antonio, TX
Where do you live now? San Antonio, TX
What is your favorite toy? all the stuffy ones are my favorite and I always have one in my mouth when I get around mom--I've even been known to take them to bed with me
What is your favorite store? Probably a place like Petsmart where there is lots of treats and food to choose from
How many toys do you have? we have alot,
What brand of food do you eat? Me personally, I'm a chow hound so I'll eat any kind, but Austin is picky so mom gets us Regular Flavor Beneful
Wet or dry food? dry
What is your favorite color? I think pink looks good with grey and thats the color of my collar and leash
Are you bad when nobody's looking? YES and even when they are looking!
Are you friendly? Very much so!
Are you overweight? Yes, mama calls me a chubba butt
Do you eat people food? Yes but not on a regular basis, just sniks and snacks mom gives me and she always lets me lick her plate.
Do you eat bugs? I don't think so
Do you live with other animals? yes..my brother Austin
Do you like to exercise? I like to roughhouse if thats considered exercising and will chase after a ball if mom throws it but not for long cause its too hot and fat dogs can't run for long.
Do you like car rides? Not particularly...I'm very tense and mom doesn't take me often
Do you get into stuff? Any chance I get!!
Do you like to swim? Mom doesn't know--we don't have a pool or live near water
What is your favorite treat? all treats are my fav
Do you shed? some, but no where near as bad as Austin
What's the funniest thing you ever did? I don't know that I do anything funny, although mom thinks its funny when she sneeks up on me and it scares me cause I'm not expecting it.
What's the bravest thing you ever did? I kill birds that get in our yard to protect mom
Are you neutered? yep (spayed)
Are you a social animal? Yes
Collar or harness? None, but I do have a pink collar if we need to go somewhere.
Retractable or regular leash? regular
Ceramic, Metal or Plastic bowls? metal
Do you sleep in a crate? no we don't own one,
Do you have a dog bed? no, I sleep in bed with mom
Do you have a doghouse? yes, the house we live in is the doghouse and we just let mom stay here to take care of us. There's 2 outside but we have NEVER used them (they're there from the previous dogs that used to live here before we came along)
Do you belong to any dog clubs? lots...
How does your owner describe you? Sometimes she can't come up with words to describe me, but mischief maker or busy body are used frequently.
June 14th 2009 3:30 pm
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My brother Austin tagged me with a new game. What kind of ice cream are you?
I am going to tag five friends and tell them what kind of ice cream I look like. Then you tag five of your friends and tell them what kind of ice cream you look like! Sprinkles count too!
I think I look like a light creamy licorice flavor.
I'm gonna tag:
My boyfriend Tank
Ok, so I added a few more--;o)
June 10th 2009 4:41 pm
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Mom found this video (its from You Tube) and thought it was funny and wanted to share. Its what happens when the parents are away at work...
June 5th 2009 8:52 am
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Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail .
And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration..'
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased . . . .. .
And Dog was happy. . . . .
And CAT, being of the nature of cats, couldn't care less one way or another!
June 5th 2009 8:47 am
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This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves, and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
Any soft, dean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
A maneuver to use as a lest resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require,....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See below.
Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.
Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating, it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. Let's not forget exiting via windows, chewing door frames and clawing every door in the house!
This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.
June 5th 2009 8:45 am
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The Story of Creation...
According to Snoopy
On the first day of creation,
God created the dog.
On the second day,
God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day,
God created all the animals of the earth
to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day,
God created honest toil so that man
could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day,
God created the tennis ball so that
the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day,
God created veterinary science to keep
the dog healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day,
God tried to rest,
but He had to walk the dog.
June 5th 2009 8:43 am
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An Open Letter to My Dog (The Bad One)
To: My basset hound
DEAR Jasper: I realize that, being a basset hound, it is highly unlikely you will actually read today's column, but at this point I've run out of ideas for communicating with you and am pretty much willing to try anything.
So, let's consider this an intervention. What I'm trying to say is your recent behaviour has been less than acceptable, not that your track record is anything to brag about.
Do I need to remind you about that Christmas fiasco? That's right, the time you found a 20-pound sack of flour in the kitchen, ripped it open, ate about five pounds worth, then gulped down your entire water dish and rolled in the rest of the flour to ensure you were evenly coated in a thick, white, dripping mass of glue, which you then tracked throughout the living room while testing out the new leather sofa and every single chair to see which was the most comfortable.
But that's ancient history. I think we can agree things have been sort of going downhill from there. Just for fun, why don't we start with what you did in the living room yesterday.
Can you show me in the Official Dog Handbook the part where it says: After eating a bunch of grass and the remains of a dead squirrel, never throw up outside if there's a perfectly good carpet in the living room.
Hey, there's more to life than food! I'm serious. You can't eat everything. For example, and this will be a big surprise, Kleenex, paper towels, discarded "hygiene" products, small pieces of wood and plastic bags from Safeway are not considered edible.
Do you have any idea how many fancy-schmancy, high-tech garbage containers we have bought in a vain search for one can -- one (very bad word) can -- that you CAN'T tip over or pry open on the off chance it might be full of yummy coffee grounds, eggshells or mould-coated things from the back of the fridge?
And do you really think we don't know what's been happening to the butter? Oh, yeah, like I really believe the kids have forgotten how to use knives and have been climbing up on the kitchen counter and using their tongues to lathe the butter into a disgusting, albeit very smooth, little blob.
Look, none of this would bother me so much if just once -- one (very bad word) time -- you would just look at me and say: 'Hey, my bad!' Or: 'Sorry, I just sort of lost control!'
But, NO! Whenever we catch you red-handed, you just sit there with that stunned ('Who? Me?') once-again-I-am-unjustly-accused look on your droopy mug, as if butter wouldn't melt in your mouth (which it does).
And have you noticed how no one wants to take you for a walk anymore? Why? Because you don't walk. No, using the same gravitational pull as the space shuttle, you try to yank our skeletons out through our armpits. ("OHMYGAWD! LOOK OVER THERE!! IT'S A SQUIRREL!!!")
What I want to know is why you can't be more like those dogs we see on TV. Not Lassie or Rin Tin Tin. I mean heroic dogs we see on the news, like that black Lab down in Maine who grabbed his owner by the arm last week and pulled him out of a burning house.
But you don't have time for stuff like that. You devote all your mental energy to breaking out of the backyard by ramming through rotten boards in the fence. The neighbours don't like that. They are cat people. Their cat hates you! That's why he hisses at you all the time.
(Just so you know, that fire that I mentioned a moment ago was caused -- and I do not think The Associated Press would make this up -- by a cat named Princess who tipped over a kerosene lamp. I'm just saying.)
You appear to have modelled yourself after Pepper, that Lab-shepherd cross in Wisconsin who, according to AP, got into his owner's purse and wolfed down $750.
On the upside, the family -- and they wisely wore rubber gloves to do this -- was able to recover and wash off $647 that Pepper kindly "deposited" in their backyard, if you get my general drift.
Maybe I'm being a little harsh here; I don't think I'd be mentioning any of this if it wasn't for that little incident with the wiener dog on Friday. You need to realize that you are roughly 10 times bigger than the wiener dog and, under the laws of physics, the two of you cannot occupy the same space at the same time.
That's why, when the two of you tried to run in the back door together, you managed to bodycheck the wiener dog off the top step, causing her to cartwheel in mid-air and land in the planter on the patio.
Not that you've asked, but, other than a slight limp, the wiener dog is going to be just fine. The vet bill, however, cost me $77. And guess who I think should pay for that?
If you're smart, I think you'll contact your buddy Pepper down in Wisconsin. I hear he's still sitting on a little cash.
P.S. Would you please stop licking yourself while I'm talking to you!
June 5th 2009 8:38 am
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The Life of a Puppy
This morning, I woke up & kissed my dad's head.
I peed on the carpet, then went back to bed.
"The life of a puppy, oh my, this is great."
Then I thought about breakfast," I hope it's not late."
Mom took me outside, we walked for a while.
This never fails to make Mama smile.
I sniffed of everything, that we did pass,
I ate something weird - it gave me gas.
I'm sure God loves me, I know that is true.
He gave me so many great things to chew.
Rugs, plants or rocks, I really don't care.
What I truly like best, is Dad's underwear.
That obedience book, was sort of yummy.
Though it didn't sit well on my poor puppy tummy.
I threw up a bit, but that was all right,
When Mom found it later, I was well out of sight.
I made streamers of T. P., while running at full speed.
Mom is pretty quick -- but I was still in the lead.
I flew under the bed, and Mom flew past,
She stopped-shook her head, and breathed,
"You're too fast."
Mama later phoned Daddy, and said, "It was frightening!"
That afternoon, she was sure I'd pooped lightning.
She'd sat at the computer, while I chewed the cord,
She thought I was mad, but I was just bored.
When Mama had enough, couldn't take anymore,
That's when my tushy got shoved out the door.
I love it inside, but outside is best.
Lay in the cool grass, and had a good rest.
That didn't last long, there was too much to do--
Can't quite remember where I hid Daddy's shoe.
I found an old bone, and scratched at a flea,
I watched the dumb squirrels as they jumped in a tree.
I barked at the kids, when they got off the bus.
I can't figure out why this makes Mama fuss.
I barked at the neighbor, I barked at the wind.
I barked and barked, till Mom yelled, "COME IN."
The sun dipped in the west-soon Daddy would come!
I sure love my daddy: we always have fun.
I barked at my daddy, then turned on my charms,
I woo-wooed, "Hello," then jumped in his arms.
Sitting under the table -- it's sooo hard to wait.
Daddy slipped me a goodie right off his plate.
I raced through the house, and scattered my toys,
Ricocheted off the furniture, and made lots of noise.
Mom found her purse - the one I abused.
Daddy let loose a chuckle. Mom asked "Amused??"
I cowered down low, I must be in trouble.
Dad said, "Wasn't MY boy, it must be his double!"
Mom turned off the TV, and said,"Time for bed."
Dad said "Let's go boy," and patted my head.
I got in my spot, between Mom and Dad,
I thought 'bout my day and what fun I had.
Mama kicked out my bone from the covers below,
Then let loose a sigh -- a sigh deep and low.
She gave me a kiss, and snuggled me tight,
And whispered so softly, 'My darling goodnight'.
May 24th 2009 7:45 am
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Only a Dog
Do you remember thinking it was time that the kids learned some
responsibility and scanning the newspaper ads for a cheap dog for sale?
Do you remember bringing home this little ball of shivering fur and
putting her out in the yard on a chain that was too heavy on a night
that was too cold? Of course you don't remember this.
After all, she is only a dog.
Do you remember this baby crying because she was afraid and alone? Do you remember screaming at her to be quiet and finally going out there to kick her to drive home the lesson? Of course you don't remember this.
After all, she is only a dog.
Do you remember the many times you noticed her water bowl was
empty and her food bowl was covered with mold and thinking that it was the kids' job to take care of her? Do you remember seeing that her coat was dull and lifeless and, in many places, chewed away down to the skin because of the parasites no one took the time to rid her of? Of course you don't remember this. After all, she is only a dog.
Do you remember her first heat and the neighbor's male visiting
her night after night? Do you remember thinking that letting her have
the puppies would be a good experience for the kids? Do you remember that every one of those pups died because their mother was no more than a puppy herself? Of course you don't remember this.After all, she is only a dog.
I know you remember the animal control officer coming to the
house, accusing you of animal cruelty and taking her away because you couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.
After all, she is only a dog.
I thought you might be interested in how this girl is doing
today. You see, once she found a home that gave her love, attention and proper care, she blossomed into a beautiful, loyal companion.
To these people, she is much more than only a dog.
She became a therapy dog and now goes to nursing homes and
hospices where she brightens the lives of the infirm and dying. To some of these people, she has given hope. To others, she's given them a reason to keep living. To even others, she's given them the will to die
peacefully, with a smile on their lips. To these people, she is much more than only a dog.
Just last week, she helped find a little boy that was lost in
the woods. She spent a long, cold winter's night, lying over him to keep him warm and risked her own life to protect his. To this little
boy and his family, she is much more than only a dog.
Why did that filthy, flea ridden animal chained in your backyard suddenly become so important to so many? Because she never gave up her trust in people and she never once thought, "After all, he is only a human."
May 20th 2009 6:16 pm
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This morning when mom was getting ready to put Austin and me outside before she left for work, she found an EMPTY bag of candy that I had found that she left within my reach--they were choco covered peanuts...yummy! yum yum!! They were sooooooo good. There wasn't many in the bag, but if she hadn't found the empty bag, she would have never have known. I didn't leave choco on the rug or on my lips so how was she to have known? Darn bag...I knew I should have hidden it or blamed Austin for it!
I KNOW choco is bad for me but when mom left to go to work, I was acting o.k....well of course I WAS I had some choco goodies in my tumbo!! But, mom being the mom she is, was worried about me and came home for lunch to check on me and OF COURSE I was alright! I'm the Doo--I'm Invincible!! (Have I ever told you I've eated 20 flour tortillas, 2 raw chicken breasts, bread, and anything else I can get my paws on!)
Until my next adventure and the next time mom leaves something for me to get into...or within my reach on the counter...
The Candy Girl...
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