The minute you stop to rest...BAM!!!...you get TAGGED by a- Geezer!

So it would appear that I have been tagged by Bo, my elderly gentlefriend. Usually, I can outrun him without even running. As it were, I stopped for TWO seconds to lick that flap where my testicles used to be...and there came Bo, out of the blue freakin' nowhere, and he TAGGED me. And he said "tag!! you're it! mwahahahaha." Mwahahaha hell. I hope you enjoyed that Bo. Go back to your pipe and your smoking jacket now!

Here are the rules of this dogster game of "tag" in case you've never gotten a chance to play. When you are tagged, you post 7 random facts about yourself, compose a "new DIARY entry" along with the rules and put them in your own DIARY. Then you pick 7 furs (kitties or doggies) say something interesting about who you are tagging and make sure you tell them... a simple p-mail will do fine, or a rosette to tell them, but you must let them know that they have been tagged. Post their names also in your DIARY.

Here are 7 random facts about myself:

1. I am a master escape artist (and I prefer that you pronounce it "artEEst").

2. I recently learned how to shake hands. I only do it for treats. Ask me to shake when you have no food in your hand, and I'll simply look at you as though you are ignorant. If you continue to say "shake! shake!" like the broken record that you are, I will sigh, which is my way of saying "get me food, woman!"

3. I love horse poop. It impresses the ladies when I skillfully, and selflessly dart into the horse pasture, risking broken ribs and stomped on apendages, just to seek out a fresh piece of poo.

4. I'm not a virgin anymore. Uh-hunh, you heard me. I've done the deed. Truth be told...as a neutered canine...there's not a whole lot of point to the deed. It's a bunch of wasted effort, if you ask me. Not as good as advertised.

5. I am my mother's favorite child, and I know it, and I flaunt it.

6. I am a vain, vain doggie. When I think no one is looking, I stare at myself in front of my mother's full length mirror. I turn side to side, and sometimes flex my muscles. I'm very stealthy about doing this though, I've only been caught once...fortunately, I wasn't flexing at the time.

7. And now, an excerpt from my favorite poem:

the time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things.
of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax...of cabbages and kings.
of why the sea is boiling hot, and whether fish have wings.

I am going to go for a random pup stroll. On my stroll, I will tag 7 random pups. So I can't list them here, because I don't know who they'll be!

Mystery Solved!

The secret is out folks. Mom figured out how I gashed my paw open. Daisy showed her...tattle tail of a Beagle that she is. She barked on me. I can't believe it. See if I don't start taking HER bones away. Humph.

Mom heard Daisy barking on Saturday, so she walked into the living room to see what the fuss was about. Daisy looked as if she were perched in the window sill of the small living room window...it's the one on the side that no one ever pays attention to, as it has blinds in it that are closed all the time (we have a neighbor that's kind of weird, and sometimes Mom walks around without her fur on). Anyways. Mom said Daisy, how the heck are you perched in that sill, it's to small to perch...wait...why does it appear as though you are halfway outside? OMD! You ARE halfway outside! And she was, that Crazy Daisy...how, you ask? I shall tell you.

Most of the windows in my house have been replaced, but there are a few left that are very old, single pane windows. The window in question is one of those. After The Incident, Mom discovered that if you press on the bottom pane of glass, it would actually push away from the frame. Here's what happened...I was looking outside through the big window, and I saw something. Then, I ran to the other window to get a better look...I'm all the time raising those blinds with my nose. I had my paw up against the window pane, barking at the thing I saw, when the glass broke and my paw shoved through the hole. And that's what happened.

Mom felt terrible when she discovered what I'd done. She had no idea that window was in that bad a shape. It is being replaced ASAP, but in the meantime, Mom has done her best to cover it up, by way of a scrap piece of beadboard that she nailed to the window trim. On a happier note, my paw is doing better. I chew the bandage off every day, and every day Mom doctors my paw and puts the bandage back on. Yesterday though, it looked good enough to her to leave the bandage off...the wound has mostly closed (I think I might have maybe chewed off the top layer of stitches, so it's taken a bit longer than it would have otherwise). Prior to yesterday, if the bandage was off for more than a few minutes, the gash would open back up and bleed a little...but yesterday it didn't do that so Mom let it have some air. I'm glad she didn't re-bandage it, it itches me terribly because it's healing, and it's really frustrating to want to lick the itch so badly, but you can't until you get that stupid bandage off first. I'm still on antibiotic pills, but I don't mind them because Mom hides them in peanut butter. I don't go near that window anymore.

An Eventful Week.

It's been quite an eventful week. Monday evening, Dad brought home a new furbaby. Her name is Daisy, she is a Beagle, and she a'roos at me a LOT. She is okay though, I guess. Mom has to keep her on a leash because she tries to run away...not because she doesn't like us or Mom and Dad, but because she follows that nose of hers. I think we should have named her Toucan Samantha. Mom is going to make Daisy a dogster page, but it won't have a picture for a while. Daisy is adoptable to a VERY good home (Mom is rather picky, she wants someone who will treat Daisy like she treats us). If no one worthy comes along, Mom will just keep the Daisy Dog.

Yesterday, Mom got home from work and there were bloody paw prints trailing throughout the house. Mom called me to her, looked down, and saw what I did...which was gash the top of my left front paw wide up. Mom panicked. I don't know why...it wasn't bleeding anymore, and it wasn't bothering me...because I was still running around like I always do, not limping or anything. But Mom panicked and took me to the vet. $233 later, I was all stitched up and sedated. Mom has no idea how I could have possibly cut my foot like I did...I stay inside all day! She found where the bleeding must have started, evidenced by the large puddle of blood on the floor...but she can't figure out how I did it. I wish I could tell her, I know she is worried. Little does she know, she will arrive home from work today to find that I have chewed off my bandage. Okay, so she probably knows I'm going to do that. Anyways, it was a scary ordeal for Mom, she was very sad for me. She's silly.

what the heck is THAT thing???!?!

Yesterday, dad brought something home. It's much smaller than me and Dixie, and rather than barking ferociously (like us), it says "A'ROOOOOOO!!!!!" when it gets mad at me. Mostly it sounds like someone is killing it, but apparently that's just the noise it makes. Every time it a'roos, Mom yells ZEPPELIN! but I'm not doing anything wrong, that thing is just a'roo'ing at me. Dad found her at the plant where he's working, and couldn't bear to leave her there alone. She is quite skinny, so Dixie and I are being nice and letting her eat out of our bowls. We really have been quite hospitable with her altogether. Dixie sniffed her and checked her out and then went on about her way. I'm a lot more curious though. Mom got her (her name is Daisy, btw...Dad named her) a small crate at Walmart last night, and Daisy seems to be quite fond of her little crate. She was laying in it, with the door closed, so i laid down on the kitchen floor in front of her, with my head on my paws, just looking...and she a'rooed at me very angrily. It scared me, I jumped up and ran to mom. Daisy doesn't like being stared at while she's in her house I guess.

Apparently we're going to keep Daisy, unless someone claims her. Probably mom will list her as adoptable on petfinder.com...that way if someone wishes to have her, they can, but if not, she'll have a loving home with us for as long as she wishes.

There's a Tear in My Beer...

...cuz I'm crying for all you dears after reading this poem by Patty Letawsky:

We know you can't believe it's true,
but we have truly come to rescue you.
We have come to start your life anew;
you are one of the lucky, one of the few.

We have come to take away your pain,
to end life as you know it--at the end of your chain.
There will be no more treadmills, no breaksticks, no keeps;
you can now eat freely and dream happy dreams while you sleep.

There will be no more waiting for Saturday night,
no being thrown in a pit, no being forced to fight.
There will be no more suffering the atrocious abuse,
with "they choose to fight" as their standard excuse.

There will be no more bets while you suffer great pain,
no more criminals with only profits to gain.
There will be no more breedings, you are so worn;
there will be no more lost puppies for you to mourn.

They've cut off your ears, your appearance is marred
yet you give sloppy kisses and you wag your tail hard.
When they say you're all vicious, we know they are wrong
for there is no other dog with a love so strong.

You hold no grudges, you only forgive
They are all wrong--you deserve to live.
There are so many more we wish we could spare,
but there are so few loving homes and so few people who care.

So come now, let's hurry, there's no time to waste,
there is imminent danger, which for you we will face.

We know you can't believe it's true,
but we have truly come to rescue you.

Written for the most abused breed of dog in existance, the American Pit Bull Terrier.

Dixie & Zeppelin...you are my first children...I'm so glad I was fortunate enough to be the one that saved you from a lives that would surely have been miserable and scary.

the sky is falling, the sky is falling.

My people got some big news about a week ago. Apparently, there's been an unexpected addition to the "family". It's a human addition. It's a 5 1/2 year old boy human who lives in Georgia and belongs to my man person. He didn't know he had a boy human...he knew it was a "distant" possibility, and my female person knew, too...but they've recently found out it really is his. It's a long story, my mom says, but I can tell she's pretty upset, and she's taking it pretty hard. Me and Dixie are trying to be especially good and nice to her...she's got a lot to chew on right now, and not in a good way, like when we get a new rawhide bone. I don't think Mom likes to chew. She's very confused with her feelings about the situation, and I think that mostly she's ignoring it right now. I wish I could help her. Maybe another pup will read my diary, and maybe that pup will have a person who's been in a similar situation, and they could give my mom some advice. I don't like for her to be sad, or confused.

My Hideously Disfigured Person.

A terrible thing has happened to my person.

On Wednesday, the 4th of July, she got bored sitting around by herself (the husband is out of town working). We all know the saying about idle hands...well, my person got the great idea to go to Walmart, get some Nair (for faces) and remove the fuzz-hair from her face. It goes without saying that my female person is a little on the vain side. Moving along.

The Nair chemically burned her face! All down her jawline, on both sides, and wrapping around to underneath her chin, and covering her chin, and all by the right side of her mouth and a little by the left side of her mouth...all of it is chemically burned. It looks terrible, it is red and blotchy and raw and scabby. She went to the doctor yesterday, the doctor gave her some burn cream, some prednisone, and some painkillers. My person is terribly upset. She thinks someone should be held accountable for such damage to her face. She thinks they shouldn't be allowed to market something over-the-counter that is strong enough to do that kind of damage. She is very worried that it will scar. She is also tired of people staring at her and saying "omg! what happened to your face??!?!" She wishes to hide in the house, with us doggies who love her no matter if her face is burned, until her face looks normal again.

Since this happened, I have been a very good puppy. She asked me last night if I somehow knew that she was hurt and unhappy, because I have stayed right beside her since her face started looking different. I tried to lick her burns for her, but I guess it hurts her for anything to touch them. I hope she gets better soon.

Every Dog Has His Day...Mine was Friday, but Today is- Dad's!!!

Mom says Dad is leaving...only for a week...and I don't really know how long that is...but according to Mom, it's about equivalent to eternity. She is terrible sad. But the good news is, when he gets home, he won't have to leave anymore, because he got a new job where he doesn't have to leave! We're all keeping our paws crossed, and we hope he likes it a lot and will stick with it, because we don't want him to leave. We like having his side of the bed to ourselves and everything...but it makes Mom so sad when he's gone, and we'd rather sleep on the floor than see Mom sad.

On a happy note...it appears that I've overcome my car sickness!!! Dad took me for a ride the other day, and I didn't get sick at all...didn't drool or anything! I was just as happy as can be, with my head out the window, riding with Dad. Mom is way excited because now she can take me places and show me off!

AND I got new pictures. I'm such a stud. And a modest stud, at that.

Wow. I am overwhelmed. Touched, even.

Dear Diary,

This has been the neatest day. First I received the honorable distinction of being Dog of the Day. As if that wasn't exciting enough...I've been barraged with pup pal requests, and stars, and rosettes, and congratulatory emails...it's just been so terrific!

Thanks to all my pup pals for the congrats, and the stars, and the rosettes...and for taking the time to notice a little ole pittie like me.

Yours Truly,

Zeppelin, ESQ.

oh my DAWG!!!!

i'm puppy of the day! i'm so excited! no, really, i'm SO freaking excited! i've never been puppy of the day before. i can hardly contain my excitement, seriously. i'm peeing, i'm so happy.

how does a puppy get to be puppy of the day? did other puppies vote for me? if so...THANKS GUYS!!!!

ha, Dixie is going to be so jealous. i can't wait to tell her, and rub it in her face. that's what she gets...karma is repaying me because i have to stay crated during the day and she doesn't. take that, D-Dog!