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Living the Dog-Gone Life!!!

Memorial Day weekend at the Lake

Hey everyone. Sorry its been so long in writing. Mom has had alot of stuff going on and just hasn't been online as much as I would like her to. Anyway, first off some sad news. Athens is no longer in our family. See I started having trouble with aggression with other dogs. This trickled down to Athens. Mommy would be out on a walk with the two of us and Athens would begin to bark. This in turn would set me off and I would lunge. Mommy wound up having to walk me and Athens seperately. Mommy also lost her job a few months ago. With Athens and her medical issues mommy knew she wouldn't be able to afford all 3 of us. Since I had the aggression mommy knew she couldn't put me in a rescue group. So she found a great Golden Retreiver rescue to place Athens in. Mommy has worked with me alot on walking and my aggression and I've come a long way. Mommy doesn't want to talk about it anymore because it really upsets us both. I miss my dear sister. I've always been around her, since I was 2 months old. I'm 3 now. I miss sumo wrestling with her. I still have Tucker and I am becoming better buddies with him now.

As for the lake. Mommy, grandpa and uncle (mommy's brother) all went up to our lakehouse for Memorial Day weekend. My fur cousin (mommy's brothers dog) Lil Bit also came and so did Tucker! I got to run and swim in the lake OFF LEASH! Mommy was so proud of me and how well I listened to her and came when she called me. I even made a few doggie friends with the pups who live there perminately. We are going back up again this weekend and I'm so excited. Mommy says I should have been born a whale or something else that lives in the water because when we would go back up to the house to hang out all I wanted to do was go back out into the water and play! I even almost got myself into alot of trouble....See I saw this duck. He was obviously on something to land so close to the shoreline with us dogs around. As soon as I saw him I darted toward the water and in I went. Mommy thought the duck would fly far away when I got closer to it but instead it would fly a few feet away. I continued to swim after it, and it continued to take flight for a few feet then land again in the water. Next thing you know I'm way far out from the dock. Mommy thought I was going to swim out in to the middle of the lake and realize how far away I was and freak out and stop swimming or get too tired. She was scared that she might have to jump in and come and get me. Well the duck finally flew far enough away mommy got my attention and called me back to the dock. I listened and made it back safe and sound but boy were my legs tired! What an exercise! But it was a blast and I'd do it again in a heart beat!

Dogs pet peeves for Humans

1


Blaming your farts on me…..
Not funny… not funny at all !!!






2

Yelling at me for barking.
I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG







3

Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?








4

Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!







5

Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you’re not home.





6

The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.



7

Taking me to the vet for “the big snip,”
then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!



8

Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.





9

Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven’t you noticed the fur?





10

How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth.
You’re just jealous.




Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who’s boss here!
You don’t see me picking up your poop do you?

TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG

Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but
seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar,
the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray,
and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so
hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle'
the ' Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,
hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers,
scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and
Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God:

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.


Dear God:

Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God:

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before
they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and
he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?