December 16th 2008 2:16 pm
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First let me start out by saying not one person told me the Christmas tree was off limits. One would think, judging by the reaction I received, something of this importance would have been mentioned. Second I would sincerely like to plead the fifth on any and all rumors you may have heard concerning small critters in my yard. Third if you would please keep in mind that my mom is prone to theatrics and therefore should not be considered a reliable source. On the other hand, my dad is to be considered a very reliable source, a veritable pillar of integrity and judgment...his character is beyond reproach!!! Therefore I would humbly submit that you consult with him on all matters concerning my Christmas gifts.
Now...Big Red lets get onto my wish list shall we?!
1. Let's start with my Christmas day meals...I really, really want some steak and some twinkies like I got from my dad on my birthday...that would be a most excellent Christmas dinner.
2. I've seen some little critters at Petsmart on my visits there...and I think it might be nice to have a pet of my very own...my mom thinks that I might be a little too naughty and something immature or irresponsible or something...again, check with my dad, I'm sure he'll tell you it's ok.
3. I'm thinking maybe a day at the spa...not to include any type of bathing mind you...I'm thinking a massage and maybe one of those mud baths...those are ok...really I just want a day that is just all about me, exclusively.
4. I would really like some bully sticks...all the other pups talk about them!! Of course my rude mother has yet to get me any! So if you would that be great!
5. I would like a marshmallow dispenser...you know one of those contraptions that spit out treats with the mere touch of a paw...
6. I would also really like some of those booties like Riley's!! My little paws get cold...Mom may tell you I do not need fancy ones like that...however Santa we did talk about her theatrics!! I am a sporty guy I do need these!
7. I would like my own little heard of those nice stuffed talking monkeys dad got me for my birthday. I just love that monkey and well when I get over zealous...and eventually destuff him,it be nice to have a nice new one handed off to me.
Now...I got some more stuff I want but mom says that I shouldn't be greedy. Anyway, if you can just talk to my dad about my excellent behavior throughout the year and my general good nature then you will find that I am obviously deserving of my entire wish list...and I'm sure that given the opportunity he will let you know what some of the other things on my list might be.
Thank you Santa...I will diligently work on being a good boy....remember Santa I am great...I will tell you any time you need to be reminded, just ask.
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