Milo...

As some of you may know by now I have a new little brother, I am not going to say I hate him. But he does interfere with my Bff time with my dad which annoys me! He interferes with my snuggle time with Sadie, which annoys me. He interferes with my most important one on one time with my mother, which really annoys me. I am a mama's boy and I am not to proud to admit that. I might also point out that he does not seem to care about Potty accidents at all! I of course have never, and I mean never had such indiscretions in my life! In spite of what my mother may tell you.
I frequently also have to kick him out of bed...as he somehow thinks it is appropriate to interrupt my love fests with my dad. I understand the kid has had some hard knocks. I do not discredit that, I simply would like to reach an understanding. That understanding being that I come first!
I think the time has come to help the kid along with some simple guide lines, I will generously supply for him.
1. Any new toys that you have, belong to me first!

2. Dad is my BFF not yours!

3. If I have growled at you...you are wrong!

4. If I have looked in your general direction, as if annoyed, you are wrong!

5. If you potty in my house, you are wrong, and I will thrash you!

6. If you potty in my house, and I am in anyway effected negatively... you are wrong.

7. If I tell you to get a toy, you will immediately go and fetch it but you will not play with it on the way back!

8. If Sadie is annoying me, you are also annoying me and therefore wrong!

9. If you think you should bark at something out the window...you will first defer to me, If I bark you may bark.

10. No more licking my food dish one second before I have finished my dinner...this is not a barn after all. Manners please!!

That is all for now...I do not want to overwhelm the kid.

L

Finally!!!!

Her-yea, Her-yea to all my loyal subjects please note my elevated status of DOG OF THE DAY!!!
I would like to say a few words..I will begin with thank you's
1St thank you to the nominating committee.
2nd thank you to the judges.

Now I would like to make some personal thank you's
1st, Kim, Kim Kardashian taught all of us, it is okay to try out marriage for lets say 72 days or so.

Next, I like to thank Lady Gaga and the artist formerly known as Prince. From them I learned stage presence. For without them I would not be the entertainer I am today!

To my dear Lindsay, without you, I wouldn't think it was okay to constantly act like a fool.

Enrique Iglasias ...I always knew a little man scaping was okay!!

My shout outs would not be complete if I didn't throw in a Tebow moment...so here it to you J.Z

Oh yeah and thanks Mom and Dad!!!

Back to work...

I went back on patrols today with my trusted second in command Ms Sadie. I have been down and out since memorial day and that girl has done a stellar job.
As you all know I have had my reservations about her exuberance to take over my position. Hind site is 20/20 however...I now see that girl has ambition!! A trait I can appreciate, she is a natural like myself. I have decided to give her another promotion, as you can imagine this caused some disruption among the ranks. I was forced to point out to those two slackers if they put a little more effort in. Perhaps they would of curried more favor and not have been over looked yet again.
Sadie has joined the ranks of the field grade officers...I am extremely proud of her. Leaving Riley and Jake to be company officers.
I noticed a few breaches in our perimeters due to the over influx of those dastardly bunnies!!! Not to mention the rascally squirrels that are clearly trying to take over the whole planet!!!
With me being sick and all they undoubtedly thought our yard would be easy to infiltrate. Sadie does a good job, but lets face it, she is not much bigger than one of those b&@#%$!!
It was imperative to make certain my presence was known! I am back rascally rodents!!! Be warned!!!
Over and out
L

Life is Good~

Boy was I down and out...let me tell you folks I sure had mom and dad worried sick! My poor vet was beyond baffled..I was a medical mystery I tell you. One minute I be acting like I was on the mend...the next I be knocking on deaths door step. My poor mother was so traumatized she could not even write about it on that blasted Facebook.
Maybe you pups did not noticed...but I am here to tell you that Facebook is stealing all our Dogster thunder! I digress...anyhoo I am fairly certain I survived the black plague.
I have had more tests done than a dog can even count! My dad informed me I drained my allowance fund for a good ten years. If that cheap S.O.B thinks he is somehow going to cheat me out of my allowance he has another thing coming. I am a survivor!! As such I have a certain persona I must keep going. Does he think I can get by on milk bones alone?! Outrageous!
I am going on a full week now of acting like my old self...running around acting a fool and being in general a nuisance.
Mom is cautiously optimistic that I am finally out of the woods...just what woods I was in we may never know.
Mom does not even yell at me anymore for growling at Jake the buffoon. Prior to the black plague I would of been sternly reprimanded. Now I get away with pretty much anything...we shall see how long that lasts :(
I will say the only good news about the black plague is I am a mean lean fighting machine....it did wonders for my diet. I mean to rectify that nonsense immediately!!
Over and Out~
L

Can a man not recover in peace?!!

In response to little Sadie's crazy outbursts...my outrage is so profound that all I can muster as an initial reaction is KISS-OFF you crazy little redheaded step child. A year ago you were a mere vagabond being traded between house like a discarded baseball card. Out of the extraordinary goodness of my father's heart you were welcomed into our home, in spite of strenuous objections. NOW because you think that I have so kindly tolerated your presence...that I am going to let you worm your way in like the nasty under belly of a snake and steal my command out from underneath me like some sort of Machiavellian travesty. I should say NOT even over my dead, stinking, rotten carcase. Good Day Sir!

I will live!!!

My holiday weekend started out as most of my holiday weekends start out. Mother thinking we should all go on some family excursion that involves ridiculous amounts of physical activity. Naturally I always balk at such outings preferring to take up my position on the sofa and watch the boob tube with dear old dad. Laugh all you want...snacks are always involved along with a good belly rub.
Of course it was not meant to be....mother rudely said lets go fatty's this is the nickname she uses for dad and I. Supposedly it is a term of endearment, I know an insult when I hear one and don't buy that for a moment. Grudgingly I heaved myself up and out the door.
We go frolic about the trail ..I admit I may have had fun. Giving chase to small rodents and of course Sadie :)
Finally mom called it, as it was getting hot. Jake and I have no tolerance for the heat and can be a tad dramatic about it.
We get home take a nice long snooze all seems well...I get up and I'm moving kind of slow. Mom thinks I am just being, well me and not wanting to go out. So of course I get carried out to do my buisness. Which I promptly do but I am having some trouble getting up the steps....finally mom is worried!
Dad is called and told what is happening...I get a rather thorough once over. Dad says to mom...he thinks I am just a bit sore from running about like a mad man all morning. I eat my dinner all is good...till about 2:30 am, boy did I loose my belly...geez I got sick and continued to get sick every hour. Then I got the shakes and may have cried a bit...nothing I am admitting to.
Well needless to say promptly at 7:30 am I hauled off to the vets office. Dr Matt takes me right in. I have been in this stinking place all freaking day!!! After some blood work and some X-Rays turns out I got into something I should not have. I am not telling them a thing! I admit nothing!! I endured being poked and prodded at all day I am miserable. I get to go home about 4 or so with a bag of meds turns out I will be A.. O.. K.
Good thing because I think my mother and Riley are loosing it without me...those two girls can be a bit clingy you know how girls are. I will miss the ladies at the vets office fussing over me, I am a real charmer :)
Mom was so scared I hurt my back...turns out when doxies get gassy bloated belly aches, it can be confused for back pain. Of course the Doc was much more eloquent in his description.
Mom did not know what was happening between the lack of movement and the vomiting the drama queen had me getting my last rites...geez mom, nice real nice!!

Capture and Release :(

While checking the castle grounds this morning...the yard, whatever.
I caught some movement on the southeast corridor. I was off in a flash with little red hot on my heals. As I got closer I noticed it was a preteen bunny. Not big enough to be an adult but no baby was I after.
I let out my now famous war cry ;) that little red likes to mimic much to moms horror. This turned out to be a fatal mistake on my part. Mom, as it turns out was also out on the castle grounds or yard...again whatever.
Unfortunately for me she was out picking up dog piles and of course spying on Sadie and I. making certain we stay out of mischief. Seriously people does she have anything better to do?! Than to interfere with our important work?!
I of course captured that nasty rodent! Sadie cheering me on the whole while. Which as nice as it is to have your own personal cheer squad. It can be a real attention getter...with her barking and hoping up and down with delirious excitement.
Of course mother came running, screaming like a wild women. What was I do?! I had only two options here folks...run or release my prey. I weigh my options while in a fierce stare off with mom. Now I know she just got back from a twelve mile run as she is training for her race in June. This is to my benefit, she is fatigued she will be giving chase at diminished capacity. I like my chances, I take off like the very devil is chasing me.
Oh I was impressive if I do say so my self. Of course my wing man Sadie is right with me to offer support.
I turn to see how mom is faring. as it turns out she is not as fatigue as one might think. Anger and outrage may be on her side.
I am forced to drop my prey and watched it hop off with somewhat of a dazed and confused look.
This is a sad day folks...sad indeed! What is the world coming to?! Honest to Dog I just do not know.
Over and Out
L

Orphan Annie proves useful...

My little Orphan Annie has proven herself to be useful. From here on out I will no longer refer to her as the Orphan. I have promoted her to the honory position of my second in command. One would of thought my dear sister Riley would of gotten this honor...however as we all know she is just to much of a lover. This proves to be a useful trait, come nap time.
Life is not all about naps!!
I have made promises to my dearly departed Lucas. I can not let the riff raff over take our yard! As you know we are in over flow of rodents around here. Those rotund squirrels clearly just eat the whole winter away. Over populating this whole area. Lucas ran a tight ship...he left me in charge. I shall not let him down!!
Sadie just a few days ago caught her fist fatty! I am beyond proud of her accomplishment.
One would think those two big dogs would be good for something....NO they are not!! Life is all fun and games for those two knuckle heads.
Thank goodness Sadie and I are here. Today we did some checking of the perimeter. Making certain all was secure, while mom picked up poo. Dirty job...someone has do it!!
What did the big oafs do?! Ran laps around the yard like two bumbling goof balls. Riley had an all out puppy spaz that lasted a ridiculously long time. I got tired just watching the antics.
Must be nice to know your little brother is doing all the hard work.
Anyway I am very proud of little red. I thought I would have a lifetime of training on my paws. Turns out us little doxie's are made of tougher stuff.


Over and out
L

Little Orphan Annie :(

As some of you may know I have recently acquired a new sister :( her name is Sadie. Which is appalling in it self to me, having the same name as the great one is pure blasphemy!
That is why I only refer to her as little orphan Annie :) I think it fits perfect!
Anyhoo she is my new walking partner...please just shoot me and put me out of my misery. I place sole blame for this whole debacle on my mothers bleeding heart! I am sending her to class to learn how to say NO!!! Before we have ourselves a whole dog sled team.
I digress back to the topic of my walks...the embarrassment I must endure is endless. First the moment you put the harness on the orphan she starts her bucking bronco routine. Then once out the door she insists on sprinting the whole way. As you all know I consider myself a man of leisure and find her pace flat out annoying!
I would also like to mention that every sprinkler she sees, the terrorist tries to run through. If that is not appalling enough she also finds it necessary to splash her way through all puddles as well. I myself skirt around puddles as if they are filled with acid...one just never knows.
On with my list of complaints, orphan Annie is also not completely house broken...you read correctly~ For some reason she thinks it is appropriate to pop a squat inside the homestead. Not on my watch I immediately start hoping up and down making enough racket to alert mother!
I will say her only redeeming quality is she has the good sense to worship me. I of course find this acceptable and allow her to get her snuggle on with me. I mean nobody likes to nap alone.
She follows me all about watching my every move. It is a huge undertaking I have. Out of the goodness of my heart I have chosen to show the orphan the ropes. I sure it will take the rest of my life to teach her how to act properly. Some one has to do it!!
Good day!
L

Boy Scouts ?! I think not!!!

I would like to begin today's tale with an important fact. When dad is not home I am in charge! No matter what Riley may tell you. I am the oldest and a man therefore making me the obvious choice!
So today when the doorbell rang and I was the only one inside the house with mother....because those slackers thought playing outside was somehow more important than guard detail.
I of course sounded the alarm!!! I tell mother to stand back...no one gets in until I say so. What do I get for my efforts? I get told in a rather rude tone to settle down. Mother opens the door to the stranger against my strong advisement not to do so. Oh look it is a boy scout...HMPF unlikely but ok. I am certain he is a criminal in disguise. Mother scoops me up because I of course ignore her request to settle down. I sniff the young riff raff....notice his unfortunate blotchy complexion. No doubt caused by the stress of having to chat in front of such a formidable guard dog.
I listen to him yammer on about popcorn and prices the whole while giving him my evil mug. Letting him know I am not so trusting as my mother.
Mother purchases some said popcorn...while I am telling her fine but do not eat it!!! It is no doubt poisoned. Boy scout is just waiting for slim to polish off the bag...pass out and then breach our security.
Not on my watch!!! I know exactly how these guys operated and I am not tolerating it. Even if I have to suffer the embarrassment of my mother rolling her eyes and apologizing for my behavior!!! Women they are so naive!!
Over and out
L